Threemoons Posted October 15, 2014 Report Share Posted October 15, 2014 Hugs, Maddy. Hope the rehearsal goes well. Have fun playing and take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2014 didnt end up going out as it was raining here. Besides, need to rest and create new tunes for future sets. but i have to remember to be kind to my self and not push my self to hard when it comes to practice. thats the tricky bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 My days seem to be full of anxiety with no escape and no way out. I am trapped with these feelings. trying distraction techniques but nothings working. Sy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 16, 2014 Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 Oh, even your flute and the guineas are not working today? Take care dear Maddy, I value you. I wish I could help more. Tight hug if it's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 Got someone coming from the letting agency to inspect my garden as they aint happy with it. apparently There is rubbish in my garden that i cant see. fuck knows whats there. My mate cleared it all but they want the fence taken down if i dont get another dog. they also want rid of the pen that honey use to spend in. I cant touch that as it belongs to guide dogs so will have to explain that to the person when they come round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Today my anxiety is through the roof. I dont like it. if i new what was wrong i could try fix it but thats part of the problem, i dont know whats making me so anxious so i cant fix it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 That's the problem with anxiety Maddy, it isn't caused by something particularly. Keep holding on. Big hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 This morning i woke up feeling really scared and frightened. When exactly will my brain stop playing tricks on me i wonder... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Aw, Maddy. For you: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 Thanks for the hug three moons i needede it. The anxiety wont go away until this stupid person looks at my garden. They think i have two men living with me as well which i dont. I have a friend who cares for me during the week when i dont have care, but as to the other one i have no idea who there on about. If their evidence as they call it is picks them we gonna have a problem as i cant see them at all so their evidence is void straight off. I live n a one bed room flat there aint enough space for me and two other people. Stupid bastards!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 19, 2014 Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 Oh, neighborhood problems... Can't this person keep busy with his own stuff? Shh, people just throw oil on the fire these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 true say three moons. They obviously have nothing better to do than watch my flat which has made me really paranoid. I dont like the idea of my flat being watched. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 I would be paranoid too, Maddy. When I was living in a flat I used to close the windows much earlier than anyone else so we couldn't be seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 I think its all a load of rubbish personally. What use to me are pictures anyway if thats the only evidence they have. also now that my dog has retired they want the fence taken down totally. I payed for that and i am on benifits. They also want the pen outside removed but they will have to talk to guide dogs about that as i aint. This team have treeted me terible! Not even aloud to say good bye to my dog who i had for six years. where is the justis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 21, 2014 Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 Sorry for your troubles Maddy. I hope you find peace very soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2014 Thanks three moons its never ending right now. Soon as i sort one problem another one appears. hell!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2014 only got one more day to go till i state my case. Really anxious inside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 The guy from the agency come round. Saw there was just me living here. On inspection day my mate left his washing in my room so it looked like there was someone living here. Oops when there was just me living here. my nabour from upstairs also backed me up on the fact that there was just me living there. Its all been sorted out now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 Glad it's sorted, Maddy. Now you can have peace, I hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 Unfortunatly this means that i cant have someone to stay with me when i have a relapps. thats the downside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 But you did previously. I think that if your helper isn't living all the time with you it should not be a problem. What about the visitors you heberge for one or two nights? Or can't he be with you during the day and come back to his home for the night? I hope that a solution can be found. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 he is my carer and friend. He has taken on the roll of carer with out me asking him to bless him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Feeling really anxious today for some reason. managed to clean the pigs out with out any trubble yesterday so thats all good. shame the rest of me is falling to bits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Huge hug, Maddy. I hope you'll be okay. Come talking here if it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Thanks for your kind words three moons. They mean a lot. Woke up to my heart going at 125 beets a min this morning. I feel scared. Lonely. Anxious as hell. Paranoid that my house s being watched which it will be especially after my mates washing being in my room. i dont feel safe in this house anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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