maddy harper Posted November 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2014 Woke up at four feeling anxious as hell so i took my meds for the morning. My sleep is so fucked up its not good. trubble is i sleep during the day as well as at night so thats why its so over the place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted November 24, 2014 Report Share Posted November 24, 2014 Hey Maddy, if you sleep during the day too maybe it's because your night sleep isn't good quality enough for you to feel rested? At very bad times I sleep day and night too but it's because being awake is so awful.,Do you think it could be a mix of the two? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted November 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2014 I think its the drugs that i take at night that keep me awake. Although last nights run of sleep helped a lot. Got my furst lesson with the flute teacher and i am so anxious about it as she is consert level which is really high. i can get o danny boy out of it which is a irish folk song out my metal flute with out being taught any of the scales so thats progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted November 25, 2014 Report Share Posted November 25, 2014 Hi Maddy. If you think it's your night med that's keeping you awake, maybe you could discuss it with the doctor who prescribed it? Sleep is very important for our well-being. I hope you sleep better soon. I'm happy to hear of your progress with the flute! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 the silver flute is a nightmare! Hard to play! But i am getting there. Slowly but surely. I can get three different scales out of it, in three different keys. Two of which i wasnt taught. it looks more complicated than it is once u know how to put your fingers on the flute and which key your playing in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 the silver flute is a nightmare! Hard to play! But i am getting there. Slowly but surely. I can get three different scales out of it, in three different keys. Two of which i wasnt taught. it looks more complicated than it is once u know how to put your fingers on the flute and which key your playing in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Ah, but the harder to play the better it is when you finally master something new! I wish you great pleasure with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Still anxious but not as much as i was since i cansled my care package as the agency wanted fifty quid a visit and i dont have that kinda money to just give out like that. sleeping slightly better now so thats good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 4, 2014 Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 think fifty quid a time is a bit much considdering what the care people were doing for me tbh. which was hardly anything at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2014 anxious about seeing my friend over christmas as i havent stayed with them n over two years as my health aint been that great to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 13, 2014 Report Share Posted December 13, 2014 I understand you're anxious but he sounds really like a very good friend and he even allows the piggies in so I think all will go well. Plus he suffers from mental health problems too so would most likely understand your anxiety. I wish to you two a very enjoyable moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 thanks three moons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Today is the day i go off for christmas. Excited anxious and nervice all at the same time. I havent seen my friend n two years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 20, 2014 Report Share Posted December 20, 2014 Hello Maddy, I hope you had a good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2014 enjoying spending time with my friend. Aint looking forward to goin home and being all alone again. Trying not to think about it to much to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2014 Really scared about goin back home if i totally honest. I dont like it there. I feel so alone when i am at home. cant stand feeling lonely i fuckin hate it! I dont feel safe there at all! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Sorry Maddy, come on here or call friends when you feel lonely. You'll have the joy to find back your flute teacher soon. Can't someone visit you often enough for you to feel more accompanied? I wish you had a loving someone living with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 I aint aloud anyone to stay with me or i will be evicted. Thats the landlords rules i even have it n writing. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 I had a shit day yesterday cause of my fuckin stupid head goin mental. Really not looking forward to goin back home as i am being well looked after here. Will miss this so much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Woke up feeling anxious as hell with a racing heart. I felt like i had had a really bad fright. Its horible when my body decides to play up on me. this is the furst panic attack i have had since coming here. i know my time s getting short here and i dont wanna go back home at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Hit the clonazepam pretty hard this morning cause my anxiety s so bad right now. I am good at hiding it from people usually but i cant hide it from my friend. He knows me too well. I have known him for seven years next year. I cant believe that! Wheres the time went? Its been a fast seven years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Sorry to hear about the panic attack and also that you worry so much about getting back home. I think the two may be linked. Could you arrange at all with your friend for you to come see him at times so it gives you a break? Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 I want to move to the same place as my friend as i think i will have better mental health support down here. At home its pretty shit to be honest. I dont have a psych doctor or nurse or any support from the comunity mental health team or anything. I am left to struggle on my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 And your right three moons i think the two are linked also. I have been crying my self to sleep every night since last monday as i know my time down here is running out and i dont want it to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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