Progress In Counselling

[Data]

I've had a lot of counselling in the past and sometimes its helped but not always so I thought long and hard before returning to it.

However things have been a bit rough this year. My binge drinking has been getting worse and I am worried about the consequences of it. So 3-4 weeks ago I stopped drinking and arranged to have 6 sessions of free counselling through my work.

The counsellor is pleasant, well qualified (BACP registered and has an MA degree) and lives only about a mile from me. She also really seems to understand me, which is quite important.

In the past I have told counsellors that I feel different from other people, like I am unusual, and the counsellors have played that down, which I have found frustrating. I just don't believe that everyone is the same inside. I have also tended to over-pathologise in the past, to blame everything on a mental disorder.

Well I have stopped over-pathologising and this new counsellor doesn't say that I am just the same as everyone.

What she does say is that being different isn't necessarily a bad thing. Different can be interesting. If I am the odd-one-out in the group, that doesn't make me sick or bad. I have got to stop looking for differences between myself and other people, and regarding those differences as sick or bad. If there are differences, then that just means I am different, and thats not necessarily something that I have to hide, be ashamed about, or apologise for.

I also need to be aware that norms can be dependent on the group and can differ quite widely. Sometimes things that are not normal generally are normal in a particular group. Again, it doesn't mean I am wrong, it just might mean that group is self selecting, they join because they fit into the norms, whether those norms are good or not.

I should learn social skills. She recommended Eric Berne's book "what to say after you say hello". Since I am self-aware (something I need to work on more) then I am empowered - I can learn social skills. She said that sometimes social skills is just about holding a little back, or mellowing yourself just a little. You can make little changes consciously, then with practice they become a habit.

I have had 3 more sessions with Karen and I have another 3 more to go. The sobriety is tough at times but I think I have the right support.

[b0bulat0r]

Hi Data

I am glad you have found this helpful and you seem to getting alot of out of it, It is nice to be able to see positive change in yourself and feel as though you are learning and growing.

my only concern is that this is a 6 session period and that if it has been this helpful to you perhaps you would benefit from having some more. do you think you would need more? if so can it be arranged at all?

happy for you that she listens to you and seems to be helping,

[Data]

my only concern is that this is a 6 session period and that if it has been this helpful to you perhaps you would benefit from having some more. do you think you would need more? if so can it be arranged at all?

Yes I could do this but I'd have to pay private as work will only fund 6 sessions.

Also, work like there to be a gap between the free sessions and any paid-for ones. I'll have to investigate how long the gap has to be.

[Threemoons]

Pleased that you seem to get a lot from it. Remember that not drinking is difficult but it's worth it!

[Data]

Pleased that you seem to get a lot from it. Remember that not drinking is difficult but it's worth it!

Its more than I "seem" to get a lot from it - I think this is a bit of a breakthrough!

You are correct that sobriety is important - thanks for mentioning it though, the more it is drummed into me, the more it will help my willpower.

[lonelyheartemma]

I'm really glad your counsellor is so helpful Data. It's great that your work were happy to pay for it. I hope all the positivity she has given you will stay with you after the sessions end or at least tide you over till you are able to get some more.