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ajmajm

BPD and my relationship

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ajmajm

Normally when I am hurt, I tend to lash out and say the most cruel things I can think of to my boyfriend. We have had a generally rocky relationship which has been on and off for four years. I want this time to be different. When I say these hurtful things to him and hurt him, he usually wants to have some time alone (usually about a day), but then I get really clingy and don't want him to leave because I feel like he's going to leave me completely or cheat on me. I feel like maybe I am being irrational and should just give him the time? I do not want to ruin the relationship as I always do but when he needs time alone I feel abandoned, like he hates me, or would do things behind my back. I hate feeling alone when he's gone but would rather leave him his time if its best. I am really trying to change my behaviors. But right now I am having this huge breakdown because he wont speak to me and is upset. I dont know if I can handle the pain of feeling alone. 

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Saharah Blue

amajm,

I can relate to the behaviors in yourself that you are describing, however, you are fully responsible for the way in which you treat others. I have found in my own experience that it tends to be the people we want closes to us that also triggers us into acting out in a way that we need more validation. Are you in therapy right now?

Sah

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