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Aran, I love you more than life itself, You are an intelligent, clever and handsome boy. I wish that I could put into words - all the things I feel inside. But when the demons take me over, there is nothing left but pain. I'm so sorry you sometimes see me cry, and watch me sit in silent agony. I am getting the help I need now son, But sometimes therapy hurts. Change takes time, and change is hard. Trying is half the battle, I am trying. So don't worry if I sometimes fall, I am learning how to get back up. Whatever happens I will always be here for you, You are loved, you are seen, you are heard. Love Mum x

There is an important point, and its been touched on above When someone votes your post down, if the system is designed to help us understand how we affect others, how can we know what our effect on other people is if all we have is a red number? If the user leaves no feedback as to what it is you have done to offend or upset, you can sit there guessing all day as to what you may or may not need to change about yourself. Sitting and worrying what you have done wrong to upset others, when you may have done nothing at all, has a name. Its called 'rumination' - and people pay therapists many thousands of pounds a year to help them STOP it. A therapist will also empathically and sympathetically draw attention to any behavioural issues the person may have that makes them more prone to upsetting outcomes. In here all you have is the number and the vague sense that you have been slapped in a drive by. If we are now discouraging people from pursuing others to find out why they voted them down, then it really is a fantasy that this system could ever do 'what it says on the tin'. You cannot learn your behavioural blindspots unless they are explicitly demonstrated to you, and even then its very hard to listen unless its done sensitively. In terms of a psychological experiment, I cant see that its really yielding any useful data. From the point of psychotherapy and recovery, it definitely does not seem to be having useful outcomes and its hard to see how it will - though I can understand the desire to stick with a decision and see it to its end. As the site is recovery focused, then surely the measure of any system designed to promote recovery is that it accomplishes that. For those that maybe COULD benefit from greater insight, the system seems to be ignored or rationalised away - it just bumps up against their already considerable defences. Whilst I agree that behavioural and emotional awareness, as well as limit setting are important parts of therapy for personality disorders, I cant help but feel this is not the way to do it. The closest thing I have seen to an online blind spots awareness tool is the 'nohari window', and that at least includes verbal feedback. That said, its not for the faint hearted. Ross

The only thing i can do is to "opt out". Rumination is one of the issues I am seeking recovery from. I don't intend to ever click those +/- buttons, and I will try very hard to pretend anyone's numbers dont even exist. It'll be like going to a nudist camp, avoiding looking down there promotes a lot of eye contact. peace, cat

Another very strong shout for scrapping the scheme altogether. It's the job of the mods to detect and remove trolls and trollish behaviour. We are here to support eachother, not to police and castigate others.

Cherry, I wasn't implying it would be easy, I just meant that if anyone was so unhappy with how things are here, then rather than make themselves miserable then consider other support elsewhere. If you're lucky enough to have friends here then that's great and obviously this is a good place for you. I think you are attacking me for no good reason, you practically accused me of having being one of the people (presuming there was more than one as there often is) who had been anonymously voting negatively against people before the voting was tied to the person who gave the vote. Because I'm new and you're not, I'm seen as the outcast. No one really knows me here whereas they do here and it's hard for me to open up and allow people to see who I am. Now that this voting system is in place, I think it favours the people who have been here ages and not newbies. Like you criticised me for only having been here since this year........ you just proved my point in that it's harder for new people. It should not matter that I've only been here since this year, I thought that everyone had a fair chance for support, friendships and help here. I've done nothing to you to provoke anything and I feel hurt that you're condemning me before you even know anything about me. I'm not going to leave the forums just because you may not like me for no good reason. I've done nothing but be calm and level with you Cherry, I don't know what's going on here. Take care of yourself.

Don't get this business, at all,seriously. Why do people have to give a 'mark' or score next to a comment? Have I missed something? Why can't folk just post positive comments or constructive feedback? If people are abusing this forum, surely there are other ways of bringing people to task, rather than giving them a 'negative point'?? This is a supportive forum for people with MH issues. If someone has a bad day and posts something that others see as negative, they may feel mortified later. Some of us can live without this reputation system, it makes no difference. However, others are genuinely upset and may be put off from coming here - surely thats more important than 'trying out' a system? We already have a system here of how people perceive us. Scoring people just seems a bit clinical. **fedup! jumps down off soapbox** xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't even look at mine now! I would hope that should anybody feel my posts were not helpful they would contact me to discuss what I had written. I would never deem it acceptable for any member including myself to be nasty to someone who had voted their post a negative. We all have different opinions, moral guidelines, and illnesses. We have different personalities and come from all walks of life. I do not believe that if a post is negatived it is done out of malice, but just as a feedback to that member on how their post was perceived on that particular thread. If I talk bullshit I want to know! Should any member feel the system is being abused, please submit a ticket and any situation can be reviewed. Use your votes wisely!

I have taken into consideration some of your points about the new repuation system. I think its accurate to say there has been some controversy over the use of this system. I would again like to say how important it is we are all able to take feedback from others and realise the impact we have on the lives of those around us and this system can be great for highlighting this, should it be used in the way its intended. I am simply not going to remvoe this feature at the first sign of trouble. This being said I have made the following changes – Users can now only leave a max of 10 positive and negative points per day (So use them wisely) Users can now see who has left them feedback. (On your posts you can see this) From this moment on – members who are found to misuse the system will face moderator action.