(((((((((((((all of you))))))))))))))))))
oh i duno how i am. lol up down inside out and back to front lol
productive day but feel drained. think i need a nap, but havent been on here all day and having withdrawral symptoms.
was hossy earlier, i go there for art therapy, it so nostalgic, i feel like i wann go to my ward and jumpo into bed. there is a mental health hca there neil who i was close to, well lol in my head. i really cared about what he had to say, transference? maybe although he was hot!!! last time i saw him, he was really happy to see me, and bounced down the corrider, saying steph!!!!. meee in my stupid aaiqkshdfvbkajshdbckajcb behaviour, decided to act cool, basically brushed him off, and was cold i saw him today and he just nodded at me, and smiled, lajhdfbjlsdhbflahjsdfblhjb again i know relationships made in there arent real, he was a hca someone who looked out for me in there, but ohhhhh i really like him, and he was sooooo good with me. helped me to exercise, took me for walks, sdpent time chatting with me, and gave me the best hug ever. i know i know its all in my head, if i was thin, i would have had him lol, i think bpd and sex hgmmmm something i dont take part in at all, not for a while, it makes me feel sick to think about it, but!!!! when i was younger i was a hwran lol (whore) and i bet if i lost weight i would be again!!! i miss him!!!