Obsessions With People

[addawn]

I've actually done that kind of thing lots of times. I think. I'm not even sure. Anyway she had no right to follow you to your house.

I had some one kick and punch the side of my car because I did that. That time I kind of had a good reason because I had just been to see my dying mother so that's what I was thinking about.

People get really angry because they think I do it on purpose to be an a*** h**** but I don't.

If she calls the police they aren't going to care about something like that. There has to be an accident for them to care.

I can't believe someone would damage your car! That's crazy. I was absolutely terrified when she was following me. I was speeding and just turning corners without putting on my blinker(as if I was going to lose her) and she just sat at the bottom of my drive way. I don't know if she wanted an apology or what. But of course I know when someone cuts me off I usually get angry and tailgate them for awhile so I guess I should work on controlling that anger but it's so hard for me to put myself in someone else's shoes.

[gingerwoman]

I've actually done that kind of thing lots of times. I think. I'm not even sure. Anyway she had no right to follow you to your house.

I had some one kick and punch the side of my car because I did that. That time I kind of had a good reason because I had just been to see my dying mother so that's what I was thinking about.

People get really angry because they think I do it on purpose to be an a*** h**** but I don't.

If she calls the police they aren't going to care about something like that. There has to be an accident for them to care.

I can't believe someone would damage your car! That's crazy. I was absolutely terrified when she was following me. I was speeding and just turning corners without putting on my blinker(as if I was going to lose her) and she just sat at the bottom of my drive way. I don't know if she wanted an apology or what. But of course I know when someone cuts me off I usually get angry and tailgate them for awhile so I guess I should work on controlling that anger but it's so hard for me to put myself in someone else's shoes.

Yeah I don't know what the hell they want from you when they do that stuff. If they try to confront me about it I feel so resentful about not being "normal" because I have Dyspraxia and ADD so I just don't notice a lot of stuff. Anyway I usually end up giving them the fingers- that's like flipping the bird in my country. That's not a good move though because that's what led to that woman kicking my car when I stopped to take the children to the park and I should have driven away but I knew my 4 year old would cry because I'd promised the park so i just sat there.

I wouldn't tailgate someone if they cut me off tho. I'm usually so out of it. I don't know if anyone's ever cut me off. I probably didn't notice. lol

[lookin4an3scape]

OMG How do I get the obsessive thoughts to go away???? I feel like they are ruling my life! Too much of my time is spent thinking of certain people and it makes my mind race. I can't get it to go away. =(

[mrD]

Seems i'm actually like this with my wife, thats why shes moved out, and it drives me insane wondering what she's up to all the time, and if i dont know where she is, i always think the worse, she's with someone else, or lying to me, well i dunno how or if i can overcome it, but my marriage is history if i dont...failing that, i'm in love with kate moss, but i cant see her being interested...

Dx

[D.Ash]

D - Kate Moss won't go for ya mate - Rehabbers are a turn-off 4 her!!!!

Yeh, I am ashamed to say I too have been very prone to obsessions with members of the opposite sex, those who show me friendship, which I then blow out of all proportion... It's really too painful to go into now, but during my last breakdown - a situation blew up with my best friend, main muse, and trusted confidante of five years...

She signed off with a bunch of hurtful insults about my Diagnosis (I deserved every insult thrown at me, I was a horrible, horrible excuse for a human being during that month long battle, and she was Bi-Polar herself, turns out an abusive ex-partner of her's was also BPD - she told me I had a life sentence and deserved it ) and the final words "I feel like the whole friendship was trickery cos you fancied me..." - That still stings.

No matter how far gone or out of control I was in the last year and a bit since my Mum was killed (during which she was a rock, so supportive) I can't believe that it was just a BPD obsession... 5 years of friendship, late night phone calls that last for 6 hours, constant support and inspiration for each other... I can't be that evil, that manipulative, that low... can I?

Of course, back when I had the self-confidance to date, my 2 long-term relationships were also massively subject to my obsession for company - pushing away for fear of hurt cycles. I've been single for 5 years - say no more.

BPD - fucking sucks.

Sorry, I've totally triggered myself writing this...

-Dx

[mrD]

I'm getting obsessed with you big D, i wanna be a filmstar....

Dx

[D.Ash]

I'm getting obsessed with you big D, i wanna be a filmstar....

Dx

U really worry me sometimes, mate!!!

Luv Bruv!!! -R2D2

[gingerwoman]

D.Ash aside from anything else the bit about how the friendship was trickery because you fancied her is really stupid. People can't help who they fancy and it happens all the time in friendship. She was being really cruel and needs to get over herself.

[gingerwoman]

Can I bump my 307 replies thread?

[nuclearwinter]

I have had deep long lasting fixations with people for as long as I can remember. I think my first fixation was with Jesus when I was 3! Then it went on to Dogtanian and the Three Musketeers! I was obsessed with a dog for fuck's sake. I became obsessed with several WWF wrestlers, several rockstars - an amazing 17 year obsession in one case! University tutors! Psychiatrists. If I don't have my prozac I develop erotomania and all the fixations come flooding back. Now I'm manic and they're trying to cut down all my prozac and I feel the obsessions coming back and it makes me want to cry and throw up simultaneously. I don't want to be erotomanic. I'm not sure if it's a BPD or schizo thing.

[tiga]

I get obsessed with people too. It made me feel quite relieved to read this topic as i always thought that the problem was unique to me, and that i was just some wierd, sick, fucked up person. My obsessions are 24/7 - even in my dreams sometimes. They drive me fucking mad as theres no peace from them. I always get obsessed with females in authority roles and it is difficult cause im female and its not sexual. Ialso feel so uncomfortable being around them it makes me feel ill yet i have an unbearable need for their closeness, love, acceptance? im sure what exactly. I make up conversations and scenarios in my head too and some of them feel so stupid i feel i must be crazy. You cant really tell people cause theyll think youre wierd or whatever. With me I think its to do with my mother. I never knew her when i was growing up and i used to pretend-i know that this sounds crazy- that my teachers were my mum and that i was a toddler/ teenager again and it went from there. The only cure ive ever found is to become obsessed with someone else.

[FuzzyLogic]

Obsessions and fixations have happened to me alot in the past too,so much so that now i shut myself away and cannot have a relationship.

Got a crush on my councillor at the moment which is not good.

[Rael]

all it takes is the slightest amount of care or compassion, a single genuine gesture or word and i become completely obsessed with someone. it happens with tv shows/films and books too where i get fixated on a character. i create situations with myself with them and they can be so in depth and all consuming. it mainly tends to be with characters i see as rescuers or protectors and i put so much into it that nothing anyone in real life could compare to it. this generally means that any real life attempts to support me dont live up to my visions and i am just left disappointed time after time because they (and i) cant be what i truly want and think i need.

xxx

[Hider]

It looks like I'm not the only person who has taken some comfort from this thread, some comfort from the new awareness that I am not the only person who develops these senseless fixations. It's obvious from reading the comments here that being aware of one's obsession is generally a good thing, and that the danger arises when one fails to see how unrealistic the fixation is.

[Crackers]

all it takes is the slightest amount of care or compassion, a single genuine gesture or word and i become completely obsessed with someone. it happens with tv shows/films and books too where i get fixated on a character. i create situations with myself with them and they can be so in depth and all consuming. it mainly tends to be with characters i see as rescuers or protectors and i put so much into it that nothing anyone in real life could compare to it. this generally means that any real life attempts to support me dont live up to my visions and i am just left disappointed time after time because they (and i) cant be what i truly want and think i need.

xxx

I could have written that myself

xxx

[angel tears]

I recognise this subject only too well....... very painful xxxx

[cafonez]

Does anyone else here get insanely fixated on people to the point where the object of your fixation dominantes you ever waking moment?

I have had this problem since I was a little girl. I would fixate on another girl in my class. It's more than a sexual or in love thing.

Absolute fixation.

Of course there were lots of lovers that I would fixate on. Usually I would fixate on one person for a number of years before the object of my fixation changed to someone else.

Now I am happily married (have been with hubby for 10 years) married for 12 and yet I am fixated with some guy on a message board and he is kind of a jerk and yet I am totally and utterly besotted with him and my emotions go up and down like a rollercoaster and if I think he is mad at me or he isn't sending me enough private messages I feel horrible ache.

I AM WELL AWARE that it is COMPLETELY insane and stupid but it won't go away.

Anyone else have anything like this kind of weirdness?

I'm talking 24/7 obsession.

i used to have a fixation on meeting people in cyberspace for relationships and i used to gear all my conversations intentionally towards sexual relationships when i was 16-21. I eventually grew out of it and i think the problem was everytime i got complemented i felt more open and comfortable with that person and wanted something deeper and this could just be from 1 complement.

At the same time i had a fixation problem with cyber relationships i also had a very dark fixation on figures who attained power through corrupt means. from the age of 13 I was infatuated with world dictators who came to power through violence and manipulation and I admired them. I also admired Italian American gangsters (carlo gambino, vito genovese) and I would mimic their way of speaking, acting, and social interaction. In my graduate year of highschool everyone feared me because I appeared to fear no one even authority (this is partly thanks to my father who tried to bring me up like a 1960s gangster) I went to highschool dressed in suits spoke with a broken italian-english-brooklyn accent. I would write articles and compare guys like john gotti to early American heros like Paul Revere. In some classes my teaches actually feared me because of this fixation. It was almost like a double life.

My fixation and replay of this fixation was so good when I went to other states like Ny and Nj to visit family I wasn't the same child they knew growing up and guys from the neighborhoods would invite me into the corner social clubs. My guidance counselor was so concerned with this he signed me up to meet with the three branches of the US armed services and the marines said to me that I should work for the govt if I am infatuated with violence and they could use a fearless soldier like me, I actually replied at the time why would I do it for the govt when you guys pay them nothing! I laughed at the marine recruiter and he became so enraged.

At the end of my senior year in the year book when people vote what your going to be when you grow up they voted me to be more likely to be a made guy and end up dead. The school refused to print it, and I got excited about it. I never found out who voted that but I talked about it all year. I didn't come off this fixation until I was about 27. I realized it would only cost me problems and jail time, because violence only leads to more violence. Once i was fixated on a subject or person I would defend every action that person made, how it made them powerful, how it was beneficial to the economy. Looking back its very strange but I could talk anyone and spin whatever negative they said about the person into something positive. I would research their lives, history, social friends, interactions, business accomplishments, enemies, numerous biographies and tv shows. I would try and find the same exact fedoras they wore, leather trench coats etc.

I would try and seek positive criticism from people for these actions as well.

[silverscapes]

A couple weeks ago i mentioned to a clinician that in several relationships women have called me obsessive. She took a lot of interest in this.. which i didn't like. I don't want to be obsessive. I feel ashamed that i might be obsessive. If i am obsessive.. its centered around the fear of loosing that person i love. Ive lost so much in life that i automatically think i will loose them. My mind thinks and calculates all the scenarios were i might loose them. I drive myself crazy worrying about what might happen.. and how it might happen. Sometimes i can feel as if it really did happen.. even though its all in my mind. Sometimes... it actually did happen, which makes the fear amplified, and i relive those experiences every day.

For a long time in relationships i would suppress it, hide those feelings as best i could from my significant other... but would be miserable doing it. Now.. i don't have the ability to repress and lately.. i just tell them outright... " i have tremendous fears about loosing you ", and HOPE they can handle a dialogue about how we should proceed. But then i think.. what woman wants that burden. Then i begin thinking very lonely, dark thoughts.

Anyway, thanks for this thread, its a hard topic for me to face, and its a little easier knowing im not alone.

[gingerwoman]

God how do I stop how do I stop how do I stop?

[gingerwoman]

There is a word for what I am and no one has any sympathy for that word.

[sanctuary]

There is a word for what I am and no one has any sympathy for that word.

Stalker? Well, have been there done that and my only advice is to become obsessed with yourself! It's much more rewarding!!

There is not much support for it and I can relate so hopefully others can advise you more...

[toaster]

im obsessive bout ppl to the point i turn everything off, lay down an think bout them....i normally cry with the pain of the obsession

i 'stalk' ppl on facebook etc i save pictures/photos, stare at them etc

sucks

[markscol]

i have never been diagnosed with BPD-- only attracted to those that do. AND EVEN I do this. I have always done it, and it is mostly with other women. The most intense "obsessions" are with women i "think" i am in love with. But i also get fixated on authority figures, professors, etc. And those are more of a nervous thing. I will be completely obsessed when around them, and i get really clammy and so nervous that i lose all train of thought.

i wish i had a cure for it. I always recognize that i am doing it, but sometimes it just feels so good to bask in the obsession. I always think all of the amazing things i could be thinking about-- how much better my grades could be ( even though they are already awesome) if i could devote more time to thining about school and such.

[Jaimie_CS]

All of the above, and I find when the end of the obsession comes, i split, and there's no fading out, i loathe them and become close to suicidal over their exit from my life.

[piuma]

i am obsessional and get fixated. i also have a really bad habbit of someone going from my everything to being dispised in secs, but can easily swing back again. hense why i staw away from real people. on here. the only time i get fixated is if someone hurts me, then me imediate thought is revenge. but. usually i can calm myself. i do think howeva if i lost and someone hurt me. i dont know id be able to control myself. i have a wicked temper. still it hasnt happened yet ;)