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[Sammy]

We are also in attempts to correct the ticket system atm as the replies we send out are not being recieved, it is not that we are ignoring them, but that there is a technical issue we are trying to handle right now.

[Wobbles]

We are also in attempts to correct the ticket system atm as the replies we send out are not being recieved, it is not that we are ignoring them, but that there is a technical issue we are trying to handle right now.

Thank you for explaining that Sammy, possibly if these technical issues are arising, it would be beneficial for the rest of the members to put a note in the notes section, to inform us of such things so we are made aware of them, instead of lashing out at you guys because we feel ignored?

[Sammy]

Bare in mind also there are thousands of members, a few hundred who are regulars, we get numerous tickets and pm's from members and if you look how many actual staff members there are to deal with all issues, you'll see there isn't a lot, and we don't/can't sit here 24/7 trying to deal with all of them, neglecting our own lives in the process. Like Josh says, we do what we can when we can, we volunteer our time here to help and support, more than many other forums do. Plus the time we spend here is not all dedicated to answering tickets and pm's there is other work to do too, some of which has to take priority, such as one to one live support for those in immediate crisis.

[Sammy]

Yes we should probably make the members aware of the technical problem, but it was only something we have just realised ourselves.

[Sammy]

I'd like to ask you Wobbles...you say we should remain professional at all time and avoid...sarcasm? Personally I didn't see sarcasm in Joshua's response, I saw him making a point at the rudeness of Lola's first post.

How else should he have handled it? How should we handle it when a member is rude, patronising and offensive to staff members here? Baring in mind the staff are volunteering their time because they want to help people and because they care, they are not being paid to take abuse and be offended by people!

[Sammy]

Or do you think that because we have volunteered here that we have put ourselves on the front line for abuse and that makes it ok?

[Sammy]

If Joshua thought he was above criticism he could easily have deleted all critical posts about himself.

[Joshua]

Sammy/Wobbles

Where do we have the time for this? To inform each member of each issue we have. I would rather correct people's mis guided expecations than create further ones.

Im not sorry for the service we offer. We do our best, we take on board feedback but what is here is all we are capable of at this time with the resources we have.

My motivation is as strong as it always is and I would strongly contenst anyone questioning this. I say this in an effort to help you appritiate that if it was within my means to do better then i would give my energy to doing just that.

If you think of the time we have spent just responding to this one issue and then multiply this between the 150-200 members we have on a day and then include our own issues of personal lives, work commitments etc there is a huge amount of content there to work with.

[Sammy]

Yeah but I don't have a life lol!

[Wobbles]

You seem to be getting rather upset about all of this Sammy, which to a degree is understandable. However, all of us here have only offered our own personal opinions and beliefs.

I don't see where you're being abused at all, in fact i've seen members being abused by staff publicly on more occassions.

When a member is rude, i would expect a member of staff to deal with it privately and in an appropriate manner. Something such as sending them a pm and politely, and calmly asking them to refrain from such behaviour, and discussing it like adults, rather than mimicking and taking the piss. So i would have hoped Joshua would be above being sarcastic and rude, and politely handled Lola's request. She was obviously in crisis, and it was MY OPINION that he handled it inappropriately, and some others have felt the same. Lola was in no way patronising, offending or being rude to staff because of the style of writing in her post. She was obviously in crisis and not thinking clearly. And it should've been handled with respect.

I'm not attacking you, which you seem to be feeling i'm doing, and any one else on this thread too, we're trying to discuss issues. I don't expect mods or any other staff member to accept being in the firing line of abuse of attacks, just as any other member should not be subjected to that. But as you expect members to deal with it privately, courteously to other members, and in a mature fashion, i would expect staff to behave in the same manner. Being a volunteer and staff member does not mean rules don't apply to you.

[Wobbles]

Sammy/Wobbles

Where do we have the time for this? To inform each member of each issue we have. I would rather correct people's mis guided expecations than create further ones.

Im not sorry for the service we offer. We do our best, we take on board feedback but what is here is all we are capable of at this time with the resources we have.

My motivation is as strong as it always is and I would strongly contenst anyone questioning this. I say this in an effort to help you appritiate that if it was within my means to do better then i would give my energy to doing just that.

If you think of the time we have spent just responding to this one issue and then multiply this between the 150-200 members we have on a day and then include our own issues of personal lives, work commitments etc there is a huge amount of content there to work with.

I completely understand and appreciate everything you're saying Joshua, and think you said it very well.

I suppose part of it is educating the members here on what your motivation is, and also keeping them, collectively, informed on what's happening behind the scenes so as to avoid us all getting frustrated and angry because we can't see what's happening.

I appreciate there are a lot of members, and a lot of issues to deal with. I have one question, are you open to discussing how things could be improved from a members perspective?

[Joshua]

I don't see where you're being abused at all, in fact i've seen members being abused by staff publicly on more occassions.

Ok, you have seen this, We can not. So could you provide us with examples. As ive asked.

[Sammy]

Lola has made many crisis posts without typing one word at a time. If someone spoke to you like that in real life, one word at a time, you would feel patronised.

I don't feel attacked by anyone here, that was not what I was saying. I simply feel that people are quick to give Lola the benefit of the doubt when it was clear she was being patronising and yes it was aimed at the staff as they are the only ones who have ability to delete posts which was what she was requesting.

I don't need to be spoken to like a child one word at a time sorry, and it certainly doesn't endear me to want to help.

She has admitted herself to it being rude in another post by pointing out that it takes being rude to be listened to....how would that comment fit in if her original intention of posting one word at a times was not to be rude?

If we had ignored this rudeness on the forum, and replied only in pm to her asking her not to do it again, firstly it would be seen on the forum as condoning that behaviour or we'd be seen as wrong still for openly ignoring her.

I mean seriously we're in a lose lose situation here.

[Joshua]

I suppose part of it is educating the members here on what your motivation is, and also keeping them, collectively, informed on what's happening behind the scenes so as to avoid us all getting frustrated and angry because we can't see what's happening.

We are are aware of our limits and this is something we are unable to do. We are honest about our limitations for you to make an informed decision on whether this is a place for you to seek support. We all look for different things and no one is obligated to use these services.

[hummm_mabbe]

I understand it must be frustrating for you sometimes with the requests you get, but I gotta say Josh, I did think you were taking the pee a bit - as bumble said, mimicking the flow of the post seemed a little bit unpleasant. It certainly isnt going to help the OP feel comfortable with her posts. I would not lose any respect for you if you admitted you may have been acting out of frustration or anger - we all get that way sometimes and its a sign of strength to be able to say sorry even if we didnt feel we meant anything by it.

I responded to the poster in the way in which they posted. I did this with no intent to make fun of them. I believe I have previously stated this. I have no issue in offering an apology and i do apologise if lola took offence at the way i wrote something.

Hi Josh

Thank you for putting your hand up to that, particularly whilst you are feeling criticised and attacked. I definitely for one appreciate your openness.

[Sammy]

And no, I am not upset at the topic, it's a healthy debate which I feel involved in and willing to discuss and open to. I actually feel quite calm and relaxed. Lovely day, sun shining, kids happy and all that.

[Wobbles]

I don't see where you're being abused at all, in fact i've seen members being abused by staff publicly on more occassions.

Ok, you have seen this, We can not. So could you provide us with examples. As ive asked.

Apologies Joshua, i did not see where you had asked this question previously.

An example would be my last encounter with you in regards to the dispute between myself and Honeysweet. Yes i was reacting emotionally at the time, and i'm fully aware of that, and also that i should/could have handled things differently.

However, i personally believe and feel i was publicly attacked by you, treated as though i was just a burden because i was asking for an upsetting matter and member to be dealt with appropriately, that you had no appreciation or thought for my feelings and handled the matter in a very childish, and upsetting manner that impacted me greatly, to the point now where i am hesitant to post here. I don't feel supported, and i don't feel i would be supported in the future if i am again abused and attacked publicly. I don't feel i was protected at all. There was no correspondence entered into with admin staff about what was being done about the issue, and i continued to send in tickets and reports because i was not handling the abuse i was receiving well. Apart from the fact that honeysweet seems to have disappeared, i'm guessing she was banned from the site. But nothing was ever said to me about the outcome of the dispute, or submitted tickets.

Instead i feel an abuse of power was used to invalidate my feelings about the fact that i'd been so inappropriately abused by another member, ignored when i attempted to resolve the matter according to the rules, and was left feeling very hurt, angry, let down, and as though i could not count on moderating staff or admin to help or protect me from attack or abuse from another member. I felt you were not open to discussing this, and you constantly remind us of how little time you have for us, and that you have other things to be doing, which makes most of feel as though we are just a burden to you.

I'm open to discussing these issues as they arise, or shortly following, but i feel that, apart from this post, there is and has been no opportunity to do that.

A question: As a member, if we have a problem with another member, we're expected to either ignore them, or deal with it in a mature adult way privately. Does this apply if we have a problem with a member who also happens to be a staff member?

Again, it's not my intention to attack or insult, or hurt anyone. I'm only trying to enter into a discussion where we both learn things. I'm learning more about what your jobs entail.

[Joshua]

And no, I am not upset at the topic, it's a healthy debate which I feel involved in and willing to discuss and open to. I actually feel quite calm and relaxed. Lovely day, sun shining, kids happy and all that.

Which again Wobbles - i refer to you making false assumptions and the issues this causes.

[Joshua]

How appropriate do you feel it is to hyjack a members post and populate it with your own personal issues. Please submit a ticket. I feel i have been very patient in my responses and still although you have provided a long winded post im still left wondering how you were attacked and abused by the team here with specific examples.

[Sammy]

My personal motivation I am happy to inform you of, is that a) doing something, even if only voluntary work, helps my own self improvement in terms of confidence and self esteem and I felt I wanted to help the members here as much as I could, but also felt this charity was a worthy cause that I had a desire to support as much as I possibly could.

I feel that I have ethics about how I present myself on here, I try to avoid conflict, I don't see this as conflict, I see it as healthy debate, there is no name calling etc...and whilst we remain adults about it, i see no problem being involved in the conversation.

I see my responsibilities as ensuring the forum runs as smoothly as possible, offering one to one live support, ensuring those on here in crisis get responses as soon as possible, being available to those on the forum and in chat as much as I can and ensuring that rules and regulations are upheld. Also keeping members safe from trolls. Being mindful of my own well being and limitations, ensuring that my own life and health still comes first.

I hope that in some way answers your question and of course I am sure that each of our motivations on here are different.

Dunno if I'm taking the question in the wrong way though or if this is the answer you were looking for?

[Wobbles]

Lola has made many crisis posts without typing one word at a time. If someone spoke to you like that in real life, one word at a time, you would feel patronised.

I don't feel attacked by anyone here, that was not what I was saying. I simply feel that people are quick to give Lola the benefit of the doubt when it was clear she was being patronising and yes it was aimed at the staff as they are the only ones who have ability to delete posts which was what she was requesting.

I don't need to be spoken to like a child one word at a time sorry, and it certainly doesn't endear me to want to help.

She has admitted herself to it being rude in another post by pointing out that it takes being rude to be listened to....how would that comment fit in if her original intention of posting one word at a times was not to be rude?

If we had ignored this rudeness on the forum, and replied only in pm to her asking her not to do it again, firstly it would be seen on the forum as condoning that behaviour or we'd be seen as wrong still for openly ignoring her.

I mean seriously we're in a lose lose situation here.

I think you might be missing my point Sammy, and i'm sorry if i haven't offered it in a clear way.

My point is that, as a member, i'm expect to either ignore a person i feel offended by, or deal with it maturely, in private.

You found Lola's post to be offensive, ok fair enough, you're entitled to that. Joshua may or may not have been offended, i don't know, but my point is that the issue was not dealt with in a considerate, respectful way, by staff, which is expected of other members.

All i'm asking, is are staff members above the rules and etiquette that members are expected to abide by?

[Wobbles]

And no, I am not upset at the topic, it's a healthy debate which I feel involved in and willing to discuss and open to. I actually feel quite calm and relaxed. Lovely day, sun shining, kids happy and all that.

Which again Wobbles - i refer to you making false assumptions and the issues this causes.

Sorry Joshua, i'm not following you, as i did not say what you had quoted.

If i'm wrong about anything, i'm open to being told, i only say things how i see them, it doesn't mean it's gospel.

[Joshua]

Yes we are.

[Wobbles]

How appropriate do you feel it is to hyjack a members post and populate it with your own personal issues. Please submit a ticket. I feel i have been very patient in my responses and still although you have provided a long winded post im still left wondering how you were attacked and abused by the team here with specific examples.

Again, i get the very strong feeling that you really can't be bothered with me Joshua. I have brought up what i feel to be valid concerns and questions, and i firmly believe that even if i did submit a ticket, this issue would not be discussed, simply because you don't want to discuss it.

And i don't believe it was me that started the hyjacking, i am simply taking the opportunity to engage in a discussion with yourself and Sammy.

[Wobbles]

My personal motivation I am happy to inform you of, is that a) doing something, even if only voluntary work, helps my own self improvement in terms of confidence and self esteem and I felt I wanted to help the members here as much as I could, but also felt this charity was a worthy cause that I had a desire to support as much as I possibly could.

I feel that I have ethics about how I present myself on here, I try to avoid conflict, I don't see this as conflict, I see it as healthy debate, there is no name calling etc...and whilst we remain adults about it, i see no problem being involved in the conversation.

I see my responsibilities as ensuring the forum runs as smoothly as possible, offering one to one live support, ensuring those on here in crisis get responses as soon as possible, being available to those on the forum and in chat as much as I can and ensuring that rules and regulations are upheld. Also keeping members safe from trolls. Being mindful of my own well being and limitations, ensuring that my own life and health still comes first.

I hope that in some way answers your question and of course I am sure that each of our motivations on here are different.

Dunno if I'm taking the question in the wrong way though or if this is the answer you were looking for?

Thank you Sammy, for being open and willing to discuss things in a calm, polite, and considerate manner. I too see it as healthy debate, in fact i don't even know if we're debating, but i appreciate your valuable time.