Roses Posted July 14, 2009 Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 I'm glad you managed to tell her everything she needed to know. To have your feelings acknowledged and understood is a great thing indeed! Perhaps you could just call the doctor and ask for an unmarked envelope. I would hate to say they just stamp it with the NHS stamp only for you to find out they do it differently in your area. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
successful_workthru Posted July 14, 2009 Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 I know. I'm 100% aware of what I say, do and think. But because I have so many "personalities" (loosely used) based on my mood, then what I say at the time sounds fine until later when I'm in a different mood. I think I can relate. I say to myself "What was I thinking back then" I look back at things I have done, and I dont agree with them, they go against my principles. I know its sensible not to let people shit on you, but I do, like I am someone else. I also dont know why I do things, again, feeling like I am someone else wondering why. does this ring a bell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukbloke Posted July 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 Yeah exactly my point. Tonight I've been "myself". Went to the pub (I don't drink anymore) and was just 100% myself. And I regret nothing. If I'd of been in one of my 'insane' moods I'd of said a load of stupid garbage and regretted it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted July 15, 2009 Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 well done for going and im glad the doc listened to you properly. best of luck with the psychiatrist, i know it might be frustrating to have to go through it all again but you are on the right path and the doc referring you shows that they took you seriously and werent laughing at you. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paris Posted July 15, 2009 Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 good luck with the psychiatrist x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukbloke Posted July 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 I printed and showed the list to my friend who told me to go see the doctor. She read it, didn't react strongly enough in my opinion and said I was lying. Well, she didn't, but she said I could feel empathy, as when my Dad had depression and said he wanted to kill himself I was upset. I told her I wasn't, that I'd just TOLD HER I used it for my own gain and she laughed and told me I was lying. She is no longer my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 im really sorry that this person reacted badly. often when people hear something they dont like or are not comfortable with they go into denial about it. i have had it happen to me before when i tried to tell someone about voices, halllucinations and delusions and stuff and because i went somewhere else when it was going on so she didnt see it (was afraid she would judge me) she assumed i must be lying. it does really hurt to be treated like that when you have trusted someone enough to go to them about it and im sorry you have experienced that. ((((((hugs)))))) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsmithy Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 before i started taking huge and risky overdoses, the gp's i came across practically just handed me a 'script andd told me to f-off. please dont what i'm saying as if you want help you have to do dumb and risky things. its just that the way in my case i had to be on the verge of death before people who should have cared do care. its frickin' absurd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S1CKK Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 Ok I just don't know what to say to them. Here's what I want to say, but non of it sounds "doctor worthy"... 1. Strong mood changes brought on by the slightest comments. If it's critical I spiral down, if it's good I get a strong boost. There are other moods, obviously. The worst one being where I feel like I'm not in control. 2. I can't connect to people emotionally. I've tried and I can't. I've been in love countless times, but I think maybe I've just felt more adoration/infatuation and maybe even slight obsession with someone who's shown what I perceive as even slight interest in me. Any relationship I've had has ended in me shouting at them, being angry all the time and hating my partner. 2( . I also can't feel empathy or sympathy. I just can't relate to someone else's problems unless they affect me. I just can NOT feel sorry for people, as much as I try. 3. I have to be the centre of attention all the time. I can't sit back and listen, and if I'm ignored I either go home (if I'm socialising) or I shut down all conversation for hours. Either that or become louder and louder depending on my mood. 4. If I want something, I get it if possible. If I have no money, I'll still buy whatever it is, no matter the price. The same goes for girls, although that leads us back to the adoration point mentioned above. I only give up on that when someone else comes along. 5. I am special.I don't know how but I am better than most people. I don't look up to anyone unless they really are impressive. I am not professionally impressive, I have a shitty job. But I am smarter and just better than everyone else. I don't know how, but I am. And on a side-note, feel free to tell me that anybody with a PD can't be introspective, but whether I have one or not, I can be, because I'm aware of myself. I think if you can't be, then you're a ######6 idiot. 6. My moods are not just moods. They are almost a personality. I am the same person, obviously. But I act, think and talk differently. I say things to people I would never say in one of my other moods, and am often left embarassed at what I have said. 7. I have suicidial thoughts. Not that I ever would kill myself. I think I am too afraid of pain, and too cowardly to ever make a big step. But I think about how I would do it. The strange thing is, I think more about the attention that would follow and what people would say about me, not actually doing it. 8. Adding to the above point, I have fantasies where I get excessive attention. I dream about attention. When I was a little bit younger I had dreams where I'd break my leg and people would help me, or where I'd be in a coma/in hospital and people would come and see me. My friend was recently in hospital and I was jealous because I wanted the attention. And, once again, I felt no sympathy to her plight. See, all these things wouldn't interest a doctor. It feels good to vent, if I think of anything else I'll mention them. I can't think at the moment I'm too tired and am watching a film. First of all, yes you don't sound like you're a stupid one. But your problems defo are worthy of a doctor's attention. Just thinking about suicide is NOT normal and the way you tell it you're thinking an awful lot about it, right? You really should enter therapy....at least then you'll find out what's up with you anyway....you have some character traits of a histronic personality disorder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imperial Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 I printed and showed the list to my friend who told me to go see the doctor. She read it, didn't react strongly enough in my opinion and said I was lying. Well, she didn't, but she said I could feel empathy, as when my Dad had depression and said he wanted to kill himself I was upset. I told her I wasn't, that I'd just TOLD HER I used it for my own gain and she laughed and told me I was lying. She is no longer my friend. That is dreadful,I have also had this happen to me,good luck with the psychiatrist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukbloke Posted July 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2009 Still no letter, it's been a week now :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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