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Checking In! (How Do You Feel Today)


piuma

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feeling very insecure

but also very excited as my sister is having a baby in november (after trying for a long time) and......i move into my very own studio flat this week all to myself i'm so happy :-)

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cooking but i don't know why.hopeless and wanting to od again like i did last night and the night before that.....

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I feel miserable. I know that I do have AVPD, BPD and depersonalization disorder, but this does not make me feel better because I dont think that they are real diseases like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

I am doomed to live in misery. Nothing will get better, no words will change that, nothing.

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im in limbo right now... im happy that today im going out with a friend and tommorrow im doing the photo shoot for the papers, but at same time i still feel alone and unloved... positive things are happening but i still feel low....

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Oh speedy Gonzalez Sp? My teacher used to do that. Hum in a bit of a panic but masquerading as totally competent.

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I feel what I can only class as *normal* for me.

Have college tonight and am looking forward to putting my face on, and letting the real me out to play.

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:)

I finally received a reply from the MH day centre that my psych referred me to after about 3 months of waiting!

Its great.

I don't wanna think about the anxiety of actually going yet, I just want to feel good that at least now I can have something that is better than having zilch to do all day.

:D

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this is a great idea =)

not feeling too shit hot today, woke up feeling okay. now i just feel down again =(

this bouncing around on the roller coaster of emotions is getting tedious...

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I went for a long walk today and really enjoyed it. I am not a great fan of exercise and don't do nearly enough but I like walking and it does make you feel so much better.

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Feeling quite rejected as went to see about poss getting mortgage or at least introduction/summary to how they work and once the guy realised we didn't have enough deposit he just sort of stopped and was trying to end convo for us to leave.

Also he kept looking at the scars on my arm, so I ended up hiding it under the desk and pulling my sleave down. (They're not new but it made feel quite judged) :(

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Had strong sh urges today but didn't act on them which was good. But felt very stressed with work everything going too fast and feeling very muddled and confused. :(

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today im happy, which makes a change, but feeling very torn. i have £20 to last until next wed and not sure if to save to get cigs etc or go out and get stuff for new fish tank lol

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Been up for a couple of hours and still nekky / in dressing gown. Have things to do but unsure if it's mega comfy bed or general diddums stopping me from getting on with said things.

Prolly both

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I am having a crappy day. I went to the MH day centre place (first week) and no spoke to me. Which actually was my fault as I didnt make an attempt to speak to anyone. When I left I just walked home feeling upset and weepy. Wasn't good at all.

What am I here, why am I still alive, why I still push through day after day when it all seems so absurd? There is nothing good about me. Nothing. :(

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