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Checking In! (How Do You Feel Today)


piuma

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Supposed to be going out tonight.

Trying to gear myself up for it.

I went into the bathroom and washed my face. Looked in the mirror. I look ...different. I'm not so sure it was me that i was seeing. I'm confused. And it's scaring me, to be quite honest.

Am going to avoid mirrors. Out of sight, out of mind. I hope.

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furious, rageful, resenting, jealous, angry, grievous and generally fucked off that my infertility is as a result of being a fucking child of a neurotic mother and absent father

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Wow, this is great! I feel like i'm at a support group. I'm ok, day 18 being sober but i'm really frustrated because i've been waiting for 5 weeks now to get my first check from unemployment after i won my appeal in July. I feel like my life is on hold because i'm broke and can't do much of anything till i get all the money they said i now qualify for. Uh oh, did i say to much? I can go on and on but i won't. Next!

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Feeling like I "should" be happy because it was my birthday yesterday and my bf was v sweet and lovely but I feee like self harming and frustrated at myself for drinking and smoking A LOT.

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i feeling better today because i cut my arm, it was quite deep think i may have nicked a vein, was scared for about a minute but the pain felt nice. fallen out with my friend who just doesnt get depression and has taken everything really personally, is it bad that i dont care? im sure i do but just cant feel it

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furious, rageful, resenting, jealous, angry, grievous and generally fucked off that my infertility is as a result of being a fucking child of a neurotic mother and absent father

i'm sorry to hear that xx

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