redhed26 Posted September 11, 2009 Report Share Posted September 11, 2009 sitting here while my pain overflows, nobdy seems to notice the pain i carry, even when i tell them, i cant remember anyone asking, how are you? and really wanting to know, do i make it so hard for people to ask, or do they really not give a shit. my heart is breaking and the only person who'll ask how i am is my counseller who i cant wait to see on wednesday, that makes me so lonely surrounded by people i love and my pain is transparent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catspiracy Posted September 11, 2009 Report Share Posted September 11, 2009 People are nice to me and caring towards me, but I feel zoned out and disconnected. The smallest thing stresses me out. I am berating myself with tons of nagging, telling my self YOU SHOULDs and then a plummeting feeling happens in the pit of my stomach and the bad visualizations ask for permission to enter. They are like vampires: they need permission to come into your home, and then they drain your life force. So far I have been challenging them, but they are very sneaky. I notice that depressed postures suit me now, too, and I am resisting them. Here comes another wave of "I SHOULDS" with their attendant nausea.......... I think i will sew something for myself today. I need to still enjoy doing my artwork, it's beginning to become too job-like if I dont play with it once in a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted September 11, 2009 Report Share Posted September 11, 2009 like someone is hitting me in the head with an ice pick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhed26 Posted September 12, 2009 Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulina Posted September 13, 2009 Report Share Posted September 13, 2009 I feel sad and alone. I really wish I had a friend to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted September 13, 2009 Report Share Posted September 13, 2009 It is going to be a duvet diving day. Feeling overwhemled and uncertain about my future plan's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhed26 Posted September 13, 2009 Report Share Posted September 13, 2009 not very nice anxiety attack this morning, weird visual stuff going on, i was panicing because i thought "this is it, i'm going mad" but stayed positive. played footy and used up all that wasted energy i'm creating. will sleep well tonight, good night x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Recouping, getting down about who I can't see to ever understand I am. I want to see myself, why can't I feel like a real person. Feeling ghostlike again. Sah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinkyboy Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 outside a band plays, people laugh and smile - having fun inside sitting body rocking head raging (((roses))) Alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinkyboy Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 still in good mood from the weekend... not crashed yet... yayyyy xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cazzann Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Hi. I'm new to this and im not really sure what im doing. Thought I would check in! Here goes! How am i feeling today? To be honest, im not sure. I was diagnosed with depression around 15 years ago and also have been diagnosed with dysthymia. (dont know how to spell it). Ive been finding hard to function properly for a long time now and having a teenager and two little girls doesnt make life easier! Lol. I feel quite nervous doing this so i apologise if i start rambling! Two years ago yesterday my mum died. I have prided myself on how well i have handled this but recently i have begun to wonder if i have really dealt with it. I have a hard time dealing with emotions so I have buried them so i could concentrate on my family. Life is hard enough with my condition without emotions getting in the way! Or thats what i keep telling myself. I know i should be dealing with this but Im afraid that if i do i wont be able to control what happens and i think that i might have a breakdown and end up in hospital. Thats ironic cos ive been asking to go into hospital for a long time!! I keep thinking that at least im in control of things at the moments. If i let go then i wont be in control and wont be able to concentrate on my family. Sorry for rambling. I only popped in to say hello and ended up rambling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dice Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 I am in a very very hyper mood still and I need it to stop, So I can go down the docs and get my meds... But yeah I am ok today ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Not great, I can't work out if it's withdrawel or a bug, but I feel like shit been in bed most of day. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 dunno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhed26 Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 anxiety getting worse each day, shaking and near panic attacks, i think i need a visit to the docs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 Have the run's, sweating, irritable......tis' withdrawel, oh well, least I know what it is. Going back to bed for an hour or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike59 Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 I am making a few notes ready for my next visit to the Doctor on Thursday. I am going to suggest a substitute for diazepam - perhaps propranolol as recommended by someone else on this forum, ask about counselling, ask if there is a telephone help line available for night time panic attacks (I live alone). I can't go on living like this - its driving me nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wobbles Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 Really really lonely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhed26 Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 feeling ok today, feel better about bipolar so going to stop working myself up worrying that i'm losing the plot and just enjoy this up feeling and enjoy all my new clothes i've just bought with money i shud be saving, why not eh? anything could happen at anytime so im just going to live life as it comes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aneurysm Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 feel like throwing myself off a high-rise tbh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike59 Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 Sometimes I think that loneliness is at the root of many mental health problems. I know I suffer with it terribly and it does get mentioned a lot by people who post here. Sad in a crowded world that so many of us are lonely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 good mood, but exhausted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dice Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 Weird ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 woke up tired, sad, crying then weird ok atm huh?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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