steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 hi im new to this so i tot the best way to start out was to go ahead nd just open in the hopes people can understand whats happening ? i av been depressed for so many years now and its come to a point where i feel alone like im the only person. no matter how many friends are with me it still always feel like its just me and thats it. my own depression has consumed my problems and has locked them away so i never have been able to deal with them head on. My problems are there i can feel them but i cant face them as a result of this on several occassions i tryed to commit suicide and was referred to a specialist but that didnt help at all i believe cos i wasnt talkin to some who was there who new wat it was like to feel alone. My feelings r no longer mine to control anymore they belong to my depression to be used for its will not mine i am unable to get my problems out for me to deal with but at a certain point every once in a wile there is no space in my mind for them all and they all come all at once and it is something i cannot handle. I become desperate to do anything to make it stop but now there is nothing i can do nower i can turn and i would hope i would get some insight from people here hu r in my situation. If you believe you can help please do i hope to hear from you soon i accidently poseted d same thing twice my many apologies for any inconvinience i may or have caused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 Depression is a bitch you will never get rid of it, but you can control it, All those symptoms you describe are real, now get your self down To your local gp and get some meds, before you fuck your self,,,,,, gavin Now i will be here until you get your meds now steelflex try and hang in there, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 I have gone to my GP but meds wer not persriced to me instead i was referred to a specialist to help with my porblems but it has been no use to me at all. My own problems have hidden demselve and ly in wait until it comes to a point where they consume me and i become desperate at that point where i dont care wat it is i dont care wat it does but if it can make it stop even just for a few moments ill will act Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 now start talking to me whats on your alterpiece at this point in time gavin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 I dont know where to start when it comes to talkin bout this kind of stuff its been a long time since i stopped and start paying attention to myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 did something happen to you to trigger it; tell me what a bitch it is gavin because i got so low i tryed to neck myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 well the 1st time was a few years ago wen i was still attending school i was goin out with this amazing girl at that point i had it all i felt like i belonged somewer but she fell for another guy and i lost her but i didnt only lose her i lost all my friend to because someone started vicious roomers about me and it hurt that people believed i was doing these thing i turned away and let myself go and thats was the 1st time suicide had ever come into my mind the 1st time i ever thought bout ending it all but the feeling was so welcoming i gave into it and ended up cutting my wrist and sat down and just watched myself drift away so slowly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 what a real pissoff loseing your girl, that just monument stuff, i lost my girl the same way , when i saw them again i kicked the fuck out of him, i'am reclusive but i do interact with people the only way to beat this thing is to get mad fucken mad, have you many hobbies?????? or are are you locked up in your chateau,,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 It was awful for me to see them together i dont really have many hobbies i tend to just give up things now i pretty much stay in for the hole day and night but i sometimes go out for a long walk to clear my head but as usual for me it never seem to work out at all and i think the worst thing is right now is what happened to me bak in skool is happening now cos my girlfriend left me for another guy but i never got the chance to deal with that cos it that pain just locked itself away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 why are you unwittingly hanging on to the past, is it important, are you in the dark or light, what do you think you can do for yourself, do you wright poems,,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 well im mainly in the past cause ive never stopped to deal with my own problems ive always been there for others but i was never there for myself i stopped lookin after myself a long time ago and have forgotin what its like to look after myself my problems get locked away when my girlfriend left me last week i kept saying to myself got to face this head on gota confront it but it never happened it just locked itself away i used to write poetry a long time ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 why do you call yourself steelflax, why did you not take care of your self do you have someone to talk to like a good friend, don;t you think this is just fickle passions, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 i dont really no y i called myself steelflex i have just forgottin whats it like to take care of myself cause ive always been helping others ive never took d time i needed to focus on myself i did have a friend to talk to bout dis stuff but she passed away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 what do you think what will get you going again, do you work, in restrained commerce ,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 i honestly dont no what could do get me goin again and no i am currently seeking employment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 where do you live and what is your trade do you excise beside walking anything else are you tence and how is your clarity at the moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 i live in ireland eh i dont really excercise there would be a rare chance i would go out and play football i dunno bout tense but at some times i get an unpleasant feeling in my chest my heart beats faster than usual and my breathing gets faster like i had just been out for a run Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 mate i live in australia and i'am a chef never been to the land of green all my rellys com from there,,,, is there much work there,,,, now how are you going to get yourself into the next day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 ive never been to the land down under id would love if their wer jobs right it wud giv me plenty to do but every is cutting down its so nerve recking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 Just wanted pop in and say hi to you two guys. Thinking of you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 that a real fuck about work, i see roses is on board so you are not alone now this depression has a real grip on you, is threr a depression clinic there where you are, do live in north or south, and how will you be tomorrow,,, mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 i know but yet i cant shake this feeling of lonliness its got a pretty tight grip it controls me i live in south i dont think ill be any better tomorow if im lucky it wont get worse tomorow but ill still feel d same Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 Hiya Steel, I like going for long walks too. Think nothing of walking 3/4 miles to get into town or whatever. It is good because it releases endorphins into the brain that help to make you feel a little brighter. Try and keep up this pass-time if you can. So the doc didn't give you meds but gave you therapy. What therapy are you having? In early days of t it can dredge up a lot of painful stuff and can make you dip low for a while. But if you stick with it you will come out the other side and probably feel much better for having spoken to someone about it all. Loneliness and emptyness are common symptoms of depression or personality disorders and I want youto know you are not alone in this and we are all here with you. Are you finding talking is helping at all? Do you practice meditation or any other relaxation tehcniques. Calming music to chill to (classical works for me), or angry music to stomp to (particularly like Linkin Park or Buckcherry to train to), or perhaps you play an instrument and could vent your emotions through the medium of song? I am here to talk xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 i live on my own because i don't get involved with women, i'am not a fucken a puffter, but its the best way for me, plus i travel a lot, because of my job, but i;am extender holidays i hit the wall and couldn;t work so i;am here talking to you, what do you fucken think about that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 a big hollo roses the poor kid has fallen a hole and you came up with some great idears gavin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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