steelflex Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 well i made a sandwhich ealier gonna make something for dinner in a few mins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Glad you are taking care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 well food wise im taking care of myself but mentally and to a some what pysical perspective its not looking good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Well the body is a start. A lot of the time I don't even look after that. You have been to the doctor and got referred to a t. Sounds like you are looking after yourself hun. The day-to-day stuff can be worked on. You have asked for help and you are getting it. This is a great achievement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 i know but i dont feel like im being helped nothing has changed its all still the same i dont no if it will change or not maybe in time it will get better maybe in time it will get worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 sorry i replied to the other one before i saw this one. i am glad that you have been referred to a t. it wont necessarily feel like anything is changing yet, it does take time. i know it feels frustrating, as if you should feel something from having been given help but remember for the moment not much inside you will have changed. it takes time to get used to having a t, then getting to know them, then being able to talk to them, then being able to work on things, then being able to implement things you learn. sorry if i made that sound daunting but what i mean is that you are on the first step. its a damn big step to have taken so well done and the rest will come. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Yes, Rael is right. And also it is such a relief when you finally get the help you need that you want to feel that instant fix. It does take time babe, just stay with us and let us help you along your journey if we can xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 how can one be helped if what their helping u with has been hidden from you like i dont no what it is at the moment cause it shows up and goes away after the damage is done i think my mind has put it away so it cant hurt me anymore but at time it shows up nd goes away and i can never stop myself stop and take time to explore it cause by the time its out ive alredy damaged myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Yes, but you can document it over time and talk about it with your t. I understand. I started sh when I was 16. I am 33 and only had the cbt for sh this year. I suffered for over 16 years with sh with no help for it. In fact when Icame out of hossie 18 months ago I was told my parents wouldn't take me out in public unless my arms were covered. My husband told me I couldn't bath my children in case they saw my arms and I was belittled and humiliated by my 'carer' for my behaviour. You to will help, it just takes time. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 i just feel like its not worth it anymore like there is no point doing anything to stop it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 That is your choice. I hope you decide to fight. If you are feeling this bad perhaps talk about this with t too and go back to GP??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 well hope i can make some progress in T tomorow i wanna fight but the mind and spirit can only do so much nd take so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 You are doing really well. Really well babe. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you well with your t session. Night now, I'm off to bed soon. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 well i dont feel like im doin well like i feel no progress has been made all ive done is fight nd fight for anything only to be let down when the fightings over whats to say the same thing wont happen again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 ok ive found my trigger but i think der more than one on my case here the one trigger i found and explored was my recent girl friend cant tok bout it now cos ive found it nd know what it does cant control it on my own have to let it go for now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 I understand the feeling that you are getting nowhere and that whatever praise I give you, you will automatically reject cos you can't believe I am talking about you - or you are disillusioned by constant struggles/ But it doesn't mean that I am going to stop saying it. From an outside point of view you seem to be doing great work to improve your life. Just admitting you need help is a HUGE step babe. It's good that you have identified a trigger. I hopr some day we could discuss it but I know how it is to not want to talk and there is no pressure here. Just whatever you need. Speak to you later xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 well its not that i dont wanna talk bout it its just ive seen what it can do to me so im gonna try to control it with my therapist and if that doesnt work then i dont no what to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Well that is a good step to talk to your t about it hun. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 i hope i can find it again in an hour an hour just seems likes bear minutes when you discussing ur probs its like not enuf time has been spent even tho those 1 hour adds to many before it and after it it just doesnt seem like long enuf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 I know, it's like you just warming up and then you have to leave. Perhaps make a list and just stick to the details on it?? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 a list is a genius idea thank you its jst most of this stuff is hidden from me so i cnt really jot it down u no but in T when i begin to delve when im getting there its all over and have to start all over again the next session Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Perhaps you could look back over this thread and and at the things we have discussed babe. Then just jot down the key words if you can xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 some of this is stuff ive already talked bout when i say talk i mean just begun nd had to start all over again i think in this session i need to find a trigger and explore it but i dont think an hour is enuf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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