How Old Is Everyone?

[Pink stars]

Hello, I turned 25 two weeks ago.

I have found for me that things have gotten worse, but then also when I look at it another way, I now (esp recently) have a better understanding of things and can find better ways to deal/cope

[AccidentalBully]

hey guys

i'm 26 and life has hit breaking point.

i've been screwed up from the age of 5 onwards. always aware i was "different" because although i might reach the same conclusions as others, my road there was stranger.

from 12-15 major life changing things happened. and carried on from there. i have tried so much to chenge my life for the better. but nothing has worked so far

now i really am on the edge of the cliff. looking into the abbyss. if i don't get the help i need right now, i don't know what will happen.

but i also know that from mid 20's - 30 is when bipolar/ bpd really becomes unbareble.

[brightstar]

41 if that helps?

[theheroyouhate]

I'm 18 and I've been diagnosed BPD since I was 16.

I'm getting worse as I get older but I guess that's because I'm still young.

[echoe]

51. I just learned of BDP when the counselor asked me a bunch of questions and then showed me the results. I've done some research since then. I don't have the money to go in for real treatment. In the US you have to have HEALTH INSURANCE that covers that. And my insurance at work does not. It will pay for 8 sessions, though. My Doc is putting the diagnosis on the "down low", though. He actually wrote it on a piece of paper and then put that I was greiving over issues with my daughter as the reason I went to see him. And THAT WAS THE REASON I went to see him. The BPD kind of caught me off guard! Huh, but you know what? I went thru a SH phase at about 13 thru 16 - cutting deep enough for stitches, burning myself, hair pulling - although it didn't go to extremes and happen very often. I terribly abused drugs and alcohol from 18 to 23 when I became pregnant with my first child. One suicide attempt at 21 - slit my wrist. The nice nurses kept asking me about it but my ex-husband 0f 22 years) who was then my live in, told them he would take care of me. (Yep, man, keep on feeding me that cocaine and alcohol - I'll be fine) I can fight like the best of 'em. Like the little doll in that old movie Karen Black was in, Trilogy of Terror. You couldn't kill that evil doll, it just kept coming back for more! I really used to be like that and still feel it sometimes. Abandonment? Terrible stuff. But yet I keep choosing to be all alone. Paradox. There are so many of me and I'm aware of each one of them. My sister says I was an abused child. My Dad used to hit me a lot and had a terrible temper. I dunno. I thought it was discipline. She says it's awful strange that he never hit her. But he loved me - I know he did. He was very difficult and probably very BPD himself.

I dunno - I'm pretty much o.k. until there is a crisis in my life. I can sail thru the crisis and am usually the one who recognizes it and deal with it. But the aftershocks..... those are when I become a mess. Mess mess mess. I just want peace. I also don't believe it when someone says they love me. I have trust issues. Just ran off a 2 year relationship with my damn trust issues and admitting to him I was diagnosed with BPD. I feel like a big red X is on my forehead. I won't dare tell anyone else. It frightens people.