So Called Former Borderlines Are Really Full Of Bs

[foreverborderline]

Said it before and will say it again, BPD does not vanish, it only can be managed. I FIRMLY believe this, but the doc told me yesterday that my biggest obstacle towards getting better is the fact that I believe I cannot. Also another issue is my addiction to my diagnosis.

Is there a cure ? All the medical evidence points towards no, but there is hope for some to get better but not for us all. Some of us are broken beyond repair.

[Data]

I dunno... it sounds like I keep changing my mind on this one.... but thats probably good becuase its making me think.

You say "broken beyond repair". Maybe what we can actually get, is a repair that helps us function again, but does not make us as good as new.

[foreverborderline]

Data, I did not mean others were broken beyond repair but meant that I myself am broken beyond repair and what that means for me is that the damage and emotions are so bad that there is nothing that can help me get better. I am stuck and trapped forever.

[Data]

I am stuck and trapped forever.

I really hope that one day you will turn around and say tat you were wrong about this.

[foreverborderline]

I am stuck and trapped forever.

I really hope that one day you will turn around and say tat you were wrong about this.

me too

[Narcissa]

i think any mental disorder is for life. But you can recover. you can live your life like any other person but the disorder will always be in the backfround and something might trigger it. I've been classed mentally ill since i was 11 so at the moment it's hard for me to think i can get better. of course they didn't know it was bpd at the time. i don't think they diagnose that as a kid. There are very successful and down to earth people with bpd. it's about willpower i think. if you believe and you want to get better. thats the biggest key to recovery.

[Tray]

i think original poster has a point, thou calling recovered bpd's bullshitters is harsh. i dont think anyone ever fully recorvers i just think you grow to accept the bpd in you and learn to control yourself better

[Data]

i think any mental disorder is for life.

I disagree. There are SO many people who have an episode of depression in their life, its very common. They are not all mentally ill their whole life. They have too many stressors in their life, they get stressed. A lot of them get better and never get depressed again.

[Narcissa]

there is a difference between illness and disorder. They don't call it a depression disorder do they.

[shawnm339]

my lifes nowhere near yet I have days of emptiness followed by days of anger followed by days of self destruction...I've not even begun my journey yet....you have to make a decision to get off the meth

[Barebones]

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/personalitydisorders/pd.aspx

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/personalitydisorders/personalitydisorderskeyfac.aspx

[icu_baby]

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/personalitydisorders/pd.aspx

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/personalitydisorders/personalitydisorderskeyfac.aspx

WOW fantastic information barbones! forever you should have a look at this.

[foreverborderline]

my lifes nowhere near yet I have days of emptiness followed by days of anger followed by days of self destruction...I've not even begun my journey yet....you have to make a decision to get off the meth

Understandable - as far as the meth goes, I have made many decisions to quit, the problem is that I feel with BPD I have the inability to make choices and feel my disorders choose for me. I have lost the power of choice as with using or not using, I cannot stop. It is a powerful drug and having BPD makes it harder to quit. I have sought of rehab but with no money or insurance I cannot get in anywhere.

Meth is the most powerful substance on earth, you cannot imagine how hard it is to quit, not as easy as just making a "decision"

[foreverborderline]

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/personalitydisorders/pd.aspx

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/personalitydisorders/personalitydisorderskeyfac.aspx

WOW fantastic information barbones! forever you should have a look at this.

Looks interesting, I will look it over. As long as nobody tells me in that leaflet that BPD is curable then I am sure I will get something out of it.

See, the problem is I am addicted to my disorder so if anyone even suggests that it can get better I flip out. I was at the intake for the doctor and they said well maybe you don't have BPD, maybe you have something else, and I panicked and almost flipped out.

[icu_baby]

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/personalitydisorders/pd.aspx

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/personalitydisorders/personalitydisorderskeyfac.aspx

WOW fantastic information barbones! forever you should have a look at this.

Looks interesting, I will look it over. As long as nobody tells me in that leaflet that BPD is curable then I am sure I will get something out of it.

See, the problem is I am addicted to my disorder so if anyone even suggests that it can get better I flip out. I was at the intake for the doctor and they said well maybe you don't have BPD, maybe you have something else, and I panicked and almost flipped out.

I don't understand how you could be addicted to your disorder? Can you enlighten me? Why did you flip out when the doctor said you might have something else (and what was the something else)?

[Warrior Princess]

I believe recovery is a choice. You can choose to recover or you can choose to stay unwell.

Ok so I might get a lot of flack for saying that, but I have found it to be true for myself. As long as I believe that I will never be well, I'll stay unwell. But if I believe that wellness is achievable, I will continue to strive for that. Sure there will be times it's tough and I relapse or fall or lose hope. That's part of recovery. So when that happens I can choose to stay in the ditch or choose to climb back out of it. Words have power to heal or hurt. I think every one here or anyone whose been abused knows that. Our own words can either heal or hurt us too. Oour own beliefs can be our saving grace or our complete downfall.

Of course having said that, there is also the physical side of it that I have to contend with. For Bi Polar, there is a chemical disfunction, but it's treatable. So I personally do not let that stand in my way.

I also believe that even the physical side of it is healable. That is my faith.

Am I fully recovered? Not sure. but I'm a whole lot better than I use to be. I no longer have enough of the 9 criteria to believe that I'm still BPD. Sure I have other issues... but I'm dealing with them. If the way I am today is a series of responses to past experiences, then I believe I can be re trained by present and future experiences to react differently. To me, that is recovery.

WP

[foreverborderline]

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/personalitydisorders/pd.aspx

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/personalitydisorders/personalitydisorderskeyfac.aspx

WOW fantastic information barbones! forever you should have a look at this.

Looks interesting, I will look it over. As long as nobody tells me in that leaflet that BPD is curable then I am sure I will get something out of it.

See, the problem is I am addicted to my disorder so if anyone even suggests that it can get better I flip out. I was at the intake for the doctor and they said well maybe you don't have BPD, maybe you have something else, and I panicked and almost flipped out.

I don't understand how you could be addicted to your disorder? Can you enlighten me? Why did you flip out when the doctor said you might have something else (and what was the something else)?

I know that it is difficult to understand but even more difficult to explain but here goes.

It is like having a security blanket or stuffed animal as a baby/kid and then someone tries to take that away, you would cry and scream as it feels like you lost your best friend. BPD is my security blanket, all I have ever known, the only thing that has always remained constant and never has changed or abandoned me. It is painful but I know what to expect. I say I am addicted to my disorder because I feel it is my identity and who I am. I read up on the disorder, everything I do is BPD, I reject and refuse to believe that I am not BPD, I have all the criteria, everything about me and who I am screams BORDERLINE. I had a dumb doc recently tell me I do not have BPD, I know I do. I know I have other things too just not sure what they are. The doctor will not tell me what else I have yet as he does not want me to get addicted or fixate on disorders and diagnosis but rather focus on the symptoms I feel and try to manage them. They at the clinic are going to give me a complete psycho/social analysis and workup with tests and all to figure out the conditions I suffer from. I have not had such evaluations in over 15 years. I always have gone to different docs and hospitals as one of my issues is I move around a lot, and all those places diagnose me different things so who knows what is going on. All I do know is that BPD is who I am, what else I will have to wait and see. I do not believe I am an individual with a diagnosis but rather a diagnosis with individual issues.

[foreverborderline]

I believe recovery is a choice. You can choose to recover or you can choose to stay unwell.

Ok so I might get a lot of flack for saying that, but I have found it to be true for myself. As long as I believe that I will never be well, I'll stay unwell. But if I believe that wellness is achievable, I will continue to strive for that. Sure there will be times it's tough and I relapse or fall or lose hope. That's part of recovery. So when that happens I can choose to stay in the ditch or choose to climb back out of it. Words have power to heal or hurt. I think every one here or anyone whose been abused knows that. Our own words can either heal or hurt us too. Oour own beliefs can be our saving grace or our complete downfall.

Of course having said that, there is also the physical side of it that I have to contend with. For Bi Polar, there is a chemical disfunction, but it's treatable. So I personally do not let that stand in my way.

I also believe that even the physical side of it is healable. That is my faith.

Am I fully recovered? Not sure. but I'm a whole lot better than I use to be. I no longer have enough of the 9 criteria to believe that I'm still BPD. Sure I have other issues... but I'm dealing with them. If the way I am today is a series of responses to past experiences, then I believe I can be re trained by present and future experiences to react differently. To me, that is recovery.

WP

With all do respect I 150% disagree. I believe when someone is sick with BPD they do NOT have a choice to get better or stay unwell. I believe that recovery is something that only very few fortunate individuals are blessed with, like a miracle from above and has nothing to do with personal choice. Just like I do not believe that using drugs or staying clean is a choice. People who are sick like me have no choices, the disorder or disease chooses for us. I do not believe anyone fully recovers as there is always a chance of relapse.

[foreverborderline]

i think original poster has a point, thou calling recovered bpd's bullshitters is harsh. i dont think anyone ever fully recorvers i just think you grow to accept the bpd in you and learn to control yourself better

I tried to change the title of this thread but have yet to figure out how to do that, I know that bullshitters was harsh, was just in angry space when I wrote it.

What I meant was that people who say that they cured are either lying to themselves or have been lied to as once you have BPD you always will. It is like being born American or Irish or whatever, it is who we are and no changing that.

[Warrior Princess]

I believe recovery is a choice. You can choose to recover or you can choose to stay unwell.

Ok so I might get a lot of flack for saying that, but I have found it to be true for myself. As long as I believe that I will never be well, I'll stay unwell. But if I believe that wellness is achievable, I will continue to strive for that. Sure there will be times it's tough and I relapse or fall or lose hope. That's part of recovery. So when that happens I can choose to stay in the ditch or choose to climb back out of it. Words have power to heal or hurt. I think every one here or anyone whose been abused knows that. Our own words can either heal or hurt us too. Oour own beliefs can be our saving grace or our complete downfall.

Of course having said that, there is also the physical side of it that I have to contend with. For Bi Polar, there is a chemical disfunction, but it's treatable. So I personally do not let that stand in my way.

I also believe that even the physical side of it is healable. That is my faith.

Am I fully recovered? Not sure. but I'm a whole lot better than I use to be. I no longer have enough of the 9 criteria to believe that I'm still BPD. Sure I have other issues... but I'm dealing with them. If the way I am today is a series of responses to past experiences, then I believe I can be re trained by present and future experiences to react differently. To me, that is recovery.

WP

With all do respect I 150% disagree. I believe when someone is sick with BPD they do NOT have a choice to get better or stay unwell. I believe that recovery is something that only very few fortunate individuals are blessed with, like a miracle from above and has nothing to do with personal choice. Just like I do not believe that using drugs or staying clean is a choice. People who are sick like me have no choices, the disorder or disease chooses for us. I do not believe anyone fully recovers as there is always a chance of relapse.

I can certainly understand why you feel that way.

WP

[foreverborderline]

thanx for your understanding.

[Barbara A]

there is a difference between illness and disorder. They don't call it a depression disorder do they.

The National Institute of Mental Health calls BPD a "serious mental illness":

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml

[foreverborderline]

there is a difference between illness and disorder. They don't call it a depression disorder do they.

The National Institute of Mental Health calls BPD a "serious mental illness":

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml

I agree. Disorder,illness,or sickness... it is what it does to us that is the real tragedy.

[foreverborderline]

I KNOW WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY MAY BE UNPOPULAR BUT I THINK EVERYONE THAT HAS EVER COME OUT IN A BOOK OR MEDIA AND SAID THAT THEY HAVE BEEN CURED FROM BPD NEEDS TO RETRACT THAT STATEMENT SAYING THAT THEY ARE NOT CURED, AND ALTHOUGH THEY MAY BE BETTER AND MANAGE THE DISORDER BETTER, THEY STILL HAVE IT AND ALWAYS WILL, THEY NEED TO DO THIS BECAUSE SAYING THAT THEY ARE CURED FROM AN ILLNESS WITH NO CURE HURTS THE OVERALL COMMUNITY.

[foreverborderline]

ALSO FORGOT TO SAY THAT I AM HAPPY FOR EVERYONE THAT GETS BETTER , TRULY AM. JUST DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE GIVING THOSE OF US SICK WITH FALSE HOPE THAT THERE IS A CURE WHEN WE ALL KNOW THERE IS NOT.