So Called Former Borderlines Are Really Full Of Bs

[shawnm339]

basically you are doing the same as I've done in the not so distant past....used bpd as an excuse for your actions..you want bpd because it fits in with the things you do (addictions, mood swings, anger so on) have you ever sat and analysed whether any of these are a result of the drugs? until you actually stop taking them for a long period of time you'll never know.....you're being ruled by your belief that you have bpd because it enables you to act a certain way.....then when you feel shit about it you justify it by saying oh well there's no hope for me becuase I've got bpd so I'll carry on even though you say you hate yourself for doing them...I believe as harsh as this sounds until YOU look in the mirror and as hard as it is leave the drugs and try and see if you can take responsibility for your actions before they happen you will never have a chance to beat bpd...you're asking for a golden fleece in terms of bpd you want to walk into a room be given something and for it to work...it isn't that simple

I think you need to have a calm sit with a non-alcoholic drink and think about short term goals for yourself your life sounds a bit like mine has been a whirlwind of self destructiveness followed by extreme guilt and shame....you need to stop the bus for a moment get off and look at what's going on..it's not easy trust me by god it's not easy

[*Summer*]

I can't believe this topic is still going on,17 pages of it and it has got nowhere ;)

[shawnm339]

harsh but fair lady gaga ;-) some people may not want to get anywhere...I for one have been through all this and I've decided I want to get somewhere....

[*Summer*]

harsh but fair lady gaga ;-) some people may not want to get anywhere...I for one have been through all this and I've decided I want to get somewhere....

I didn't mean it like that,I meant that foreverborderline is going on and on how he thinks he won't get better.

I think it has sort of touched a nerve if i am honest,I went to see my shrink the other day and he said to me"IT IS A LIFE LONG ILLNESS WITH ME",I come away feeling upset because i have always felt that i will get better,I want to prove my shrink wrong.

[foreverborderline]

harsh but fair lady gaga ;-) some people may not want to get anywhere...I for one have been through all this and I've decided I want to get somewhere....

I didn't mean it like that,I meant that foreverborderline is going on and on how he thinks he won't get better.

I think it has sort of touched a nerve if i am honest,I went to see my shrink the other day and he said to me"IT IS A LIFE LONG ILLNESS WITH ME",I come away feeling upset because i have always felt that i will get better,I want to prove my shrink wrong.

Lady Gaga - This thread is still going on because it is the best thread on the board, look at how popular it is, there has to be a reason why everyone must chime in don't ya think ? The thing with your shrink is what happens here in the U.S. everyday, shrinks telling us that we will never be cured.. one eventually comes to believe it.

[foreverborderline]

basically you are doing the same as I've done in the not so distant past....used bpd as an excuse for your actions..you want bpd because it fits in with the things you do (addictions, mood swings, anger so on) have you ever sat and analysed whether any of these are a result of the drugs? until you actually stop taking them for a long period of time you'll never know.....you're being ruled by your belief that you have bpd because it enables you to act a certain way.....then when you feel shit about it you justify it by saying oh well there's no hope for me becuase I've got bpd so I'll carry on even though you say you hate yourself for doing them...I believe as harsh as this sounds until YOU look in the mirror and as hard as it is leave the drugs and try and see if you can take responsibility for your actions before they happen you will never have a chance to beat bpd...you're asking for a golden fleece in terms of bpd you want to walk into a room be given something and for it to work...it isn't that simple

I think you need to have a calm sit with a non-alcoholic drink and think about short term goals for yourself your life sounds a bit like mine has been a whirlwind of self destructiveness followed by extreme guilt and shame....you need to stop the bus for a moment get off and look at what's going on..it's not easy trust me by god it's not easy

LMAO Shawn. So all of the sudden you are cured and healed and an expert on BPD and all things huh ? So, all of the sudden you can sit back and tell me what YOU THINK I SHOULD DO huh ? Well let me tell you a few things Shawn. I am gonna tell you in bold caps so you do not miss any of what I am saying...

I DO NOT USE BPD AS AN EXCUSE FOR ANYTHING, DO YOU KNOW ME ? KNOW WHAT I THINK NOW, GEE SHAWN , WANNA BE MY SHRINK ? I SUPPOSE YOU WANNA JOIN THE REIGNS OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO "CLAIM" TO BE CURED. I NEED TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR, LMAO. FUNNY STUFF SHAWN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IS THE MOST FUNNY ? THAT YOU WITH JUST 3O POSTS WANNA TELL ME WHAT TO DO, AT LEAST I MAKE AN EFFORT TO TRY FOR RECOVERY AND TRY TO HELP OTHERS, YOU JUST JUDGE. SO YOU HAD A FEW HOURS ON THE OLE DOC'S COUCH AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN YOU ARE AN EXPERT ON ALL THINGS MENTAL HEALTH TELLING ME WHAT I SHOULD DO ??? FUNNY STUFF KID.

I WAS OFF DRUGS FOR A LONG TIME, I ALSO HAD ALL THESE FEELINGS AND BPD ISSUES BEFORE I EVER STARTED USING SO DON'T BLAME THE DOPE, THE DOPE HELPS ME NOT GO NUTS BUT I DO KNOW IT WILL KILL ME AND IS A PROBLEM BUT NOT SO EASY TO QUIT, I AM USING THE HARDEST DRUG TO QUIT ON EARTH SO GIVE ME A BREAK. I MOST LIKELY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO QUIT FOR AWHILE. WHEN I AM NOT USING I SH AND CRY AND AM IN MORE PAIN SO I HAVE TO USE.

BPD IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR MY ACTIONS I ASSURE YOU. BPD IS THE REASON FOR MY ACTIONS. BPD RULES ME AND ALWAYS WILL UNLESS A MIRACLE HAPPENS.

I AM BEING RULED BY REALITY, YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT WHAT YOU SAY IS HARSH , IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY TO ME THEN PLEASE LEAVE THE ROOM AND BE QUIET.

I HAD TO COME AT YOU THIS WAY BECAUSE YOU ATTACKED ME, DO YOU ALWAYS ATTACK SICK PEOPLE, KICK PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE DOWN ?? WELL IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF THEN HAVE AT IT BIG BOY.

I STAND BY ALL THAT I BELIEVE AND ALL THAT I SAY HERE.... I AND 99% OF MH PROFESSIONALS BELIEVE BPD CAN ONLY BE MANAGED AND NEVER CURED AND THE PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY ARE CURED HAVE BEEN LIED TO, AND I HAD TO BRING THIS TOPIC UP BECAUSE IT DOES NEWBIE BORDERLINES

A SERIOUS DISSERVICE TELLING THEM IT CAN BE CURED WHEN IT CANNOT. IT CAN BE MANAGED WITH TREATMENT THOUGH. I HOPE I CAN FIND HELP

SOMEDAY BUT SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT. YOUR RANTS AT ME AND YOU TELLING ME WHAT YOU THINK I SHOULD DO DOES NOT HELP ME, IT HURTS ME BUT YOU

DON'T CARE ABOUT HELPING ME, JUST BOOSTING YOUR EGO.

WELL, NEWS FOR YA BUDDY, YOU DON'T KNOW IT ALL.

[Narcissa]

he wasn't saying he knew it all. He was just giving his personal opinion. I don't think it was an attack on you. Forever i agree when you say bpd can be managed. But it's down to that person to want to get as well as they possibly can.

[foreverborderline]

he wasn't saying he knew it all. He was just giving his personal opinion. I don't think it was an attack on you. Forever i agree when you say bpd can be managed. But it's down to that person to want to get as well as they possibly can.

Well it sure felt like you was attacking me and thinking he knows how I feel ...

I agree, I wanna get well but don't believe that will ever be possible.

[bibiddi]

Ok, I admit to having skipped quite a few pages.

But just wanted to add my view -I apologise if its already been said, or if others have different views.

However, I remember having that feeling of hopelessness, I am sure many others do too.

If there was a glimmer of hope, Foreverborderlines initial post may have been different, he may have asked for help, asked if what he felt was correct.

However feeling hopeless, means there is a loss of hope for anything being different from how he sees it.

Forever, perhaps 'recovery' does seem unimaginable. But everyone who has 'recovered' has done it in little steps. Ones that are achievable for them.

For example, someones step could be to walk in the park for 10 minutes - free exercise. Or to delay the need to self harm for 30 minutes. I dont know you well enough to make any suggestions for your early steps.

Can you think of something that you could do as a step?

[Tray]

i think original poster has a point, thou calling recovered bpd's bullshitters is harsh. i dont think anyone ever fully recorvers i just think you grow to accept the bpd in you and learn to control yourself better

I tried to change the title of this thread but have yet to figure out how to do that, I know that bullshitters was harsh, was just in angry space when I wrote it.

What I meant was that people who say that they cured are either lying to themselves or have been lied to as once you have BPD you always will. It is like being born American or Irish or whatever, it is who we are and no changing that.

i think your right, i am bordeline, without that i dont know who i am, so sometimes i think i choose not to want to get better, cause without having bpd, what is my personality? i have had this fuked up personality all my life, it is who i am, i just need to learn to control the more damaging aspects of it

[foreverborderline]

i think original poster has a point, thou calling recovered bpd's bullshitters is harsh. i dont think anyone ever fully recorvers i just think you grow to accept the bpd in you and learn to control yourself better

I tried to change the title of this thread but have yet to figure out how to do that, I know that bullshitters was harsh, was just in angry space when I wrote it.

What I meant was that people who say that they cured are either lying to themselves or have been lied to as once you have BPD you always will. It is like being born American or Irish or whatever, it is who we are and no changing that.

i think your right, i am bordeline, without that i dont know who i am, so sometimes i think i choose not to want to get better, cause without having bpd, what is my personality? i have had this fuked up personality all my life, it is who i am, i just need to learn to control the more damaging aspects of it

Totally agree. I too wish to control the managing aspects of it , but it unfortunately is who I am too.

[foreverborderline]

Ok, I admit to having skipped quite a few pages.

But just wanted to add my view -I apologise if its already been said, or if others have different views.

However, I remember having that feeling of hopelessness, I am sure many others do too.

If there was a glimmer of hope, Foreverborderlines initial post may have been different, he may have asked for help, asked if what he felt was correct.

However feeling hopeless, means there is a loss of hope for anything being different from how he sees it.

Forever, perhaps 'recovery' does seem unimaginable. But everyone who has 'recovered' has done it in little steps. Ones that are achievable for them.

For example, someones step could be to walk in the park for 10 minutes - free exercise. Or to delay the need to self harm for 30 minutes. I dont know you well enough to make any suggestions for your early steps.

Can you think of something that you could do as a step?

It does seem as though hope is very far away for me but despite all the hardships and problems I face and my insistence that I cannot get better, I am doing some things which are positive and maybe helpful. I have a drug counselor lined up I start seeing once a week starting next, as well as a therapist and P doc within a month or so , and hopefully I can get DBT and other help although with no financial resources it is difficult. See, I want to get better but I do not believe I can, complicated. I cannot imagine life without BPD but cannot tolerate it with BPD.

I am trying to take steps, I am maybe getting a puppy soon so maybe that will help me to get out more and maybe help with the emotions. So hard to get out of bed these days.

[RedMan]

DO YOU KNOW ME ? KNOW WHAT I THINK NOW, GEE SHAWN , WANNA BE MY SHRINK ? I SUPPOSE YOU WANNA JOIN THE REIGNS OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO "CLAIM" TO BE CURED.

Do you know those people? Do you know what they have gone through? Do you know what they currently think and feel? Yet you are prepared to call the liars.

BPD RULES ME AND ALWAYS WILL UNLESS A MIRACLE HAPPENS.

Miracles don't happen, getting better requires a lot of hard work, I hope I'm up to that hard work but I know it has to come from me, not from someone else. They can guide, they can support but I need to do the hard work.

I AND 99% OF MH PROFESSIONALS BELIEVE BPD CAN ONLY BE MANAGED AND NEVER CURED

Don't pluck statistics out of your backside.

WELL, NEWS FOR YA BUDDY, YOU DON'T KNOW IT ALL.

But you do? That is the message you are putting out that you know the absolute truth and anyone who says any different is a liar.

[foreverborderline]

DO YOU KNOW ME ? KNOW WHAT I THINK NOW, GEE SHAWN , WANNA BE MY SHRINK ? I SUPPOSE YOU WANNA JOIN THE REIGNS OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO "CLAIM" TO BE CURED.

Do you know those people? Do you know what they have gone through? Do you know what they currently think and feel? Yet you are prepared to call the liars.

First off let me say that YOU Redman do NOT want to do this, trust me sir, I'd be VERY careful if I were you. VERY CAREFUL. I do not know what others have been through but neither do they know what I have been through yet they judge me. I do know that all the medical literature says it cannot be cured, who are you to disagree with trained docs ?

BPD RULES ME AND ALWAYS WILL UNLESS A MIRACLE HAPPENS.

Miracles don't happen, getting better requires a lot of hard work, I hope I'm up to that hard work but I know it has to come from me, not from someone else. They can guide, they can support but I need to do the hard work.

Yes, treatment takes hard work but often with BPD, OCD, ETC .. Treatment is slim for most of us.

I AND 99% OF MH PROFESSIONALS BELIEVE BPD CAN ONLY BE MANAGED AND NEVER CURED

Don't pluck statistics out of your backside.

I don't Mister , factual information, maybe if you actually read the stats instead of judging people you would know.

WELL, NEWS FOR YA BUDDY, YOU DON'T KNOW IT ALL.

But you do? That is the message you are putting out that you know the absolute truth and anyone who says any different is a liar.

I do know quite a lot about this stuff yes, I spend many,many hours studying BPD, recovery stats, etc and think I know. I was also a pre med student so not to toot my own horn but I know this stuff.

Let me just say that while you did not come at me like Guntarded and Shawn , you still came at me and my I advise you that usually when people do that it creates an emotional reaction not pretty. I do not know you but if you have nothing nice to say to me then please be quiet. The fact is that BPD can be treated but the chance of recovery is under 5%. I am just passing this along here to let people know that saying it can be cured damages all those who suffer, why offer false hope ? The people you should be angry at are the people who say they are cured when we all know that is not possible.

[Barebones]

I thought redman came out with alot of sense and understanding to some of ur thoughts.

Again it is only how u take what they say, but it doesnt mean its correct in how u interpretate it.

Sry hun, maybe reply when ur not taking or going through withdrawels.

By the way, i can predict in what ive just said, u will prob take it the wrong way.

Read a reply to a post u made, in u getting a pdoc? and that? You said about getting a dog? do me that would be bad idea, due to if things are not stable in ur life, please dont put that on a pet. U may think it would be good, but i would myself take it as worrying, due to ur life at the moment.

[shawnm339]

Im not going to comment anymore on this ultimately we're all alone in the decisions we make...I was trying to empathise with you because as a BPD sufferer along with many others here I've had the same feelings of 'what's the point, I'm screwed I may as well do what I like' I was trying to make you see you're not alone....I will no longer take part in this dicussion I've only just realised at 34 that I've had BPD since I was very young so what do I know about it?

Take care in life I hope you find peace

Shawn

[foreverborderline]

Barbones - The dog we are getting is a service dog and the doc who evaluated me the other day suggested that a service dog would be just what I need to emotionally support me. I do not take what you say to me the wrong way but I do feel that you misread Redman as he for sure came at me in an attacking way, not cool at all.

I am trying to get the message out about the cure myth while trying to do my best with my own issues, not easy but doing my best here.

[foreverborderline]

Im not going to comment anymore on this ultimately we're all alone in the decisions we make...I was trying to empathise with you because as a BPD sufferer along with many others here I've had the same feelings of 'what's the point, I'm screwed I may as well do what I like' I was trying to make you see you're not alone....I will no longer take part in this dicussion I've only just realised at 34 that I've had BPD since I was very young so what do I know about it?

Take care in life I hope you find peace

Shawn

You said that you will no longer participate in this discussion but I must respond. Where we differ is that I do not believe we as Borderlines are able to make decisions, I feel that our disorder makes them for us. If you were trying to empathize with me you would have said something like this " Forever, I feel for ya man, I am sorry you are going through this, I used to feel the same way" but instead you came at me saying I use BPD as an excuse and telling me what I need to do and so on , that is not empathy Shawn, it is cruel judgment and anyone can see that. You may have had BPD since you were young but maybe you need to read more about it because you seem to have misunderstood what it is and more importantly you believe the myth that you will or are cured, that is impossible, you can get better but first you need to stop thinking you are better than others. Thanks for the well wishes, I wish you well too but did not appreciate you attacking me.

[Barebones]

I guess im offended with u saying the cure myth.

Im sry that u are full hell bent on trying to prove a point, which there is no proof either way on what truth u think should be made aware of.

sry im not able to explain myself more, as i do feel its pointless in explaining or anything about progression and that.

Thanks for telling me about the service dog.

[Narcissa]

i'm sorry, but after 18 pages, who actually gives a shit anymore? All we are doing is going round in circles. This is creating arguments for no reason. And no amount of posting will bring light to any of this. I might get misjudged for this post. But this is my blunt opinion.

[*Summer*]

Foreverborderline you have just created a post about the negative points on the forum and you have gave someone here a negative point,It don't make sense.

I think this thread has gone too far now,People have tried to help you here but you have attacked them,Don't forget we are all ill here.

[foreverborderline]

I guess im offended with u saying the cure myth.

Im sry that u are full hell bent on trying to prove a point, which there is no proof either way on what truth u think should be made aware of.

sry im not able to explain myself more, as i do feel its pointless in explaining or anything about progression and that.

Thanks for telling me about the service dog.

My intention was and is never to offend, only to educate, I try to educate myself on this disorder as well as others. I am pasting what I found one doc say about the cure issue as well as some other info which may help people to see just because a few people write books saying they are cured, does not make it so.

Thanks for the question. I have always been under the impression that when a client has a Personality Disorder of any type, it is not "curable". Manageable perhaps, but not cureable. Of coure I am biased being in the field, but I do not feel that counseling by a competent therapist can hurt someone. In this case, it could lead to some self-discovery which for a person with a Personality Disorder, is sometimes the best you can get. Thanks for the question.

Although Borderline Personality Disorder is still not a curable disorder, it is treatable, and recovery is possible. Part of treatment for many people with the disorder includes therapy and medications.

Those were doctors in Virgina and Los Angeles saying those quotes and here is another account to show further proof.

Christine Lawson, PhD explains the origins of BPD, why it is so difficult to treat and incurable, and presents 4 distinct profiles of Borderline mothers. She explores these profiles in terms of their dysfunctional patterns and the experiences of the child of that type of mother. She also explores the types of men who marry each of the 4 types of women, and why they often are unable to validate the child's experiences. She thoroughly covers the topic of "splitting," and how/why the Borderline mother considers her child either "all good" or "no good." The last third of the book explores what children of these mothers can do in order to cope with this incurable disorder, particularly methods for setting limits on a Borderline mother's inappropriate behaviors. The parts on setting limits are the best I have ever come across in this type of book. She encourages the child to try to maintain a healthy relationship, but not at the expense of the child's emotional well-being, stating that:

[foreverborderline]

i'm sorry, but after 18 pages, who actually gives a shit anymore? All we are doing is going round in circles. This is creating arguments for no reason. And no amount of posting will bring light to any of this. I might get misjudged for this post. But this is my blunt opinion.

I GIVE A SHIT AND I AM TRYING TO PROVE MY POINT , NOT TRYING TO JUDGE ANYONE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.. JUST WANT PEOPLE TO SEE THAT SAYING IT CAN BE CURED IS DANGEROUS TO ALL OF US AS IT GIVES FALSE INFORMATION. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ 18 OR 20 OR 100 PAGES OF A GREAT DEBATE THEN YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CLICK ON THIS THREAD, SORRY IF THAT IS HARSH BUT WHAT YOU SAID HERE WAS A BIT HARSH.

[*Summer*]

Foreverborderline you have just created a post about the negative points on the forum and you have gave someone here a negative point,It don't make sense.

I think this thread has gone too far now,People have tried to help you here but you have attacked them,Don't forget we are all ill here.

THE ONLY PEOPLE I HAVE ATTACKED WERE THE ONES WHO FIRST ATTACKED ME, I AM COMPASSIONATE TO ALL HERE. I ALWAYS GIVE HUGS AND OFFER SUPPORT BUT WHEN REDMAN,SHAWN,AND GUNTARDED INSULTED ME I STUCK UP FOR MYSELF, SHOULD I HAVE LET THEM WALK ALL OVER ME ?

Can u please stop using capital letters they hurt my eyes,of course you are entitled to your opinion,I knew from the first few pages that this topic would cause shit.

[foreverborderline]

Foreverborderline you have just created a post about the negative points on the forum and you have gave someone here a negative point,It don't make sense.

I think this thread has gone too far now,People have tried to help you here but you have attacked them,Don't forget we are all ill here.

THE ONLY PEOPLE I HAVE ATTACKED WERE THE ONES WHO FIRST ATTACKED ME, I AM COMPASSIONATE TO ALL HERE. I ALWAYS GIVE HUGS AND OFFER SUPPORT BUT WHEN REDMAN,SHAWN,AND GUNTARDED INSULTED ME I STUCK UP FOR MYSELF, SHOULD I HAVE LET THEM WALK ALL OVER ME ?

Can u please stop using capital letters they hurt my eyes,of course you are entitled to your opinion,I knew from the first few pages that this topic would cause shit.

Sorry but I never understood why people cannot tolerate all caps , lol.

OK, I also knew it would cause shit and that is because people buy the hype of "certain so called cured people " and when I come here challenging that belief everyone comes to those folks rescue.

I merely came to challenge this belief that BPD is curable because I see how these people who write these books saying they have been cured while most Borderlines are not even close to cured is like a slap in the face to those of us still sick.

I like this board but the people on this thread causing "shit" are the ones who you need to be mad at , not me ! I am just here as a voice of reason, many people with BPD can get better with treatment and can manage the disorder (unless they have other issues going on ) but we all will always have BPD and we all need to accept that. Just like people with other incurable illnesses need to accept they can only reduce symptoms and nothing more, we also need to do this.