hummm_mabbe Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 I guess its a case of defining what recovery looks like to each person. There may be a list as long as your arm for some folks, or a short one for others. The more you think about items on that list, the more detail you tend to add. What is it that the person feels is wrong? What do they want to change? What does it really take to change each point, and how long? Many things in personality disorders have very complex solutions, and take a very long time. Failures and setbacks, even catastrophic ones, are actually part of the process. Recovery never goes in a straight line. Its a bit like digging a well to find water. If you start digging and get down to 20 feet, with no water, and say "this is hopeless, we are never going to find water", and you stop, then you dont get any water no matter w3hat happens. But if the water table is at 50 feet, then what you need is to keep digging. Then it becomes a matter of patience and belief. Hopefully if there are people in neighbouring villages that have dug down to 50 feet and all found water, then you can say "maybe I will find water too". But if you convince yourself that your village uniquely lies in a place cut off from water, or that the news of their discovery is all lies, then you will stop. It is frustrating digging for days. Months. Years. But surely knowing others have got there before you is a reason to keep going - as opposed to giving up. The important question to ask yourself is, "why does it feel better to give up than to carry on trying?". Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guntarded Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Could not have put it better myself, Ross. The well digging for water is an amazing analogy. And I have felt like that so many times, how long do I need to do this weekly psychotherapy and group meetings before getting any benefit, triggered week in and week out...but over a long period of time, you start to see sprinkles of water. There is always hope. Don't lose it, whoever reads it, even if I don't get along with you on the forum, I would not wish lifetime BPD on anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 you hand people the knife data. you do it to yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsmithy Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 I was gonna ask what Ross meant too, it was an interesting thing to say! (Ross almost always has the best replies... though, a lengthy for my liking:)) but it was a bit ambiguous. *Mentally hums and aahs for second in all the social awkwardness* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 indeed amy.... i bet people will say 'but you don't have to use the knife' but regardelss, I think your point is clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 you hand people the knife data. you do it to yourself I am not sure if there is any point responding to be honest. I don't agree. A few of you have a very fixed mind about these things. Never mind, I can't change that. I think I'm gonna go and listen to some music instead . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 "these things" being the shit you say to people?? yeah people tend to have fixed opinions about stuff like that, no matter how well they know someone. i aint guna argue with you data you aint worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Looks like another person to add to the ignore list then :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 oh no! *sobs. chokes. cries* what ever will i do?!! See ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrica Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 I don't think I have much to add. A lot of you have already spoken, and everyone I think has very valid points and opinions. I believe in recovery. But I also believe that there will always be a fight to be fought, a hurdle to overcome. Much because that is what life is. BPD for me is not much different in terms of recovery than let's say my drug addiction is. The only difference is I can chose not be around drugs, but escaping ones innner self is not much of an option (one can try, an god have I tried, thought it always comes back to haunt you). I think it's all a sliding scale. For me personally, drug addiction was the easiset to beat (not by that saying it was easy, hell no), my ed is somewhere on the fence (I do have to eat to live and thus can't remove myself from the source of the addiction) and BPD is in my core. Thus it is why I think it is so hard to recover. I believe it possible, to a greater or lesser extent. If you feel recovered you are, if you don't feel it, you are not. Nobody can ever tell you what you are or aren't. Only you yourself can do that. However, for some people recovery isn't possible. For a lot of reasons. I myself sometimes think I am one of those people. Yet here I am, because hope has bitten itself into my soul with diamond claws. The hope that one day, somehow, things will be better. "Hoppet är det sista som överger människan." - translate roughly to: "Hope is the last thing to abandon man." There is a lot of truth in that... Okay, this got a bit longer than intended. Back to telly watching... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Guys, stay on topic or take it to PM please Aurora :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 soz chick xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 exactly kitty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittyclaws Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Its gone sorry mods I know I shouldn't say that here and not on topic. I just feel so angry these people are always here for me since I joined here and I get upset when he starts all this I won't say anymore now. -_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 sry kitty i have invisabled ur post, josh and lilly will deal with it. Due to this has gone way past what the topic was about. Please could u all get back to topic like whats been suggested please. This is not a topic for slagging of each other. If anyone has anything proper to say about the topic, then please post away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittyclaws Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 sorry hun I understand, Hugs Kitty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 In my opinion, BPD cannot be cured, however you can improve. I have improved over the years. What I don't know is.. how much improvement is possible, and if it will ever be enough for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Look this post was certainly not about data so can people who wish to jump on what he says try to put it in a message to him directly and in a constructive way so that he may be able to see your view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 sorry josh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedMan Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 To me recovery will be when I can live my life with the BPD not causing many problems, if some of the BPD is learnt responses from bad experiences then we can learn new ways of responding but it takes time and the journey will not be a pleasant one. Do I think BPD can be cured? To be honest I don't know but if it gets to a manageable state that will do me. I'm at the start of the whole therapy route, having enough trouble getting off the ADs that aren't helping the therapy, which in turn is causing my side dish of depression to really flare up, sods law really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelsmile Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 well i for one truly hope i can recover from bpd and what ever else i have. many a time this past months ive wanted so bad for death to take me, im still here, still fighting for the right help for me. i keep saying im giving up, then my heart says no you dont, give it one last fight. i am me and im a lovely person and this illness will not take over me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notawallflower Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 LOL Daisy. It is just a friendly debate, nothing to "get into" . Just my opinion that NOBODY ever recovers from BPD and in my opinion those that claim to may be pulling our leg some. Just like Alcoholics always are "recovering" and not EVER fully recovered. If you are not getting into it why respond at all ? Read: Dear Daisy, wouldn't you just love to get into a friendly debate that is by its very name deprecating of the very place its written in? And then be attacked because you back away from the obvious snare? And Joshua, I'd just love to thank you for providing me with opportunities to thank you for the friendships I've formed and the support I've found here by telling you what shit you are. Awesome. Everyone will learn so very much from this thread, and we can all walk away feeling hopeful and enlightened. Well, guess what? Maybe it can never be cured, and this is "THE END" da da da dum (big DRAMATIC finale) but I would like to hope or pretend that things CAN improve and that my life is still valuable and that good things can happen for me. And if they can't, what's the harm in holding onto that small ray of happiness?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notawallflower Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recovery_model I find this discussion distasteful and disrespectful. Foreverborderline may be in a lot of genuine pain, but that is irrelevant right now. What is relevant is he/she is the bullshitter and obviously a not very well read individual. I apologise for my curtness but I want to spend as little of my time as possible on this waste of time discussion. I am only saying this much in the hope of helping the people who have read this. Recovery in mental health is a personal and therefore individual journey. Me too - that's why I reported it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notawallflower Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Hopelessness is its own reward. Ross Some people would interpret that to mean that you are saying that some people don't want to get better. Are you blaming people for their own mental health problems? Some people feel hopeless because nobody ever makes a genuine effort to understand and help them. OMG when has Ross ever judged ANYBODY here?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notawallflower Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 I love you Ross :wub: Almost as much as wifey (Kittyclaws). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.