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Do You Actually Even Like Your Friends?


ILostHer

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No, and it's taken this thread to make me realise that. I only have three anyway, but one of my friends rings me to talk and I end up listening for hours (literally) and then at the end there will be a kind of token 'how are you anyway?' I try to maintain somekind of relationship with her/them so that when my social worker asks me if I've seen my 'friends' lately I can say yes. It's awful to admit that but I'm just so ashamed and embarrased to admit how lonely I really am so it is easier to do that. This thread has left me wondering wether I am actually taking advantage of [friends] them which makes me feel awful too. I guess at the end of the day, relationships to me, and for me, are complex and confusing and difficult and quite possibly not worth it, for all the distress it causes.

If you are feeling so lonely then I don't think it's you taking advantage of your friends, you wouldn't feel so lonely if they were supportive friends?

I think my friends are not particularly good friends because they don't understand my head at all and they don't want to..it's not fun enough for them. And I think I am a rubbish friend because I don't actually care about their lives any more.

I agree that the relationships are not really worth all the distress they cause.

I am sorry you feel so lonely, I hope you can admit it to your social worker because it is nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. Sometimes they can see through our words, so maybe he/she is just waiting for you to say the things you really feel?x

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I've never had friends... :( Growing up, never had em'... 23 years old... still don't have em'.... I had ONE best friend, for 6 years... who turned her back on me because I started dating... God I miss her... but I cannot forgive her and she tries to blame the whole situation on me... But yet I miss her... but I don't want anything to do with her... ONE friend... out of 23 years... Oh my god.... That is depressing.... :crying_anim:

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(((((((((((((((hugs to everyone))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Reading this thread is sad and wanted to give you all hugs.

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Its sounds like a lot of you have friends that you do not really like but it seems with good reason.Maybe some of the friends you guys have are not real friends or the kind of friends that are not suited for you?

Lilly

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  • 3 months later...

I love my friends. I don't really have any family involvement (i see my sons tho) except a ph call from my mum every week, so I guess my friends are a surrogate family.

I would be lost without them, and their support. They know me warts an all an still accept me, which i find humbling.

I have dropped a lot of people who were supposed "friends" in the last year. And feel better for it as I don't have to pretend to like them, or wonder what their motives were for hanging around me. xx kitteh

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You certainly don't sound a bitch to me.

I've had a friend spring clean over the last few months. I've just kept 2, and 1 other I've moved to arms length because its too complicated to ditch her and its easy to tell her anything but she can't keep boundaries of confidentiality so I've kept her but I won't chat to her about anything anymore. She had been passing on "news" about me and my work to my ex friend and business partner, who is still her friend. The two friends I've kept will ask me for a favour as much as I may ask them. It feels very normal and balanced with them. I have been a bit harsh ditching everyone else, especially one or two who mean well and have been trying extra hard to be a friend as I've not been too good lately. I hate rejecting people but I can't face the pressure of too many relationships, especially from people who see me as a project, and want to make me better. People make life far too complicated.

Hugs to you.

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hi yes and no

In r/l no, i am trying to start again, i had what i thought was an amazing best friend, but she was just using me, and betrayed me and lied to me, dont even think she realises how much it hurt, and my other so called friends stuck by her, one of them still speaks to me and is nice to me, but never meet up out side the school run.

BUT i have the most amazing friends that i have meet on her they are fantastic and we are always there for each other no matter what, the best friends i could ask for, you know who you are :wub::wub: :wub:

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Hello. I totally understand u about friends or just being around. Im autistic anyway so im not great around people anyway, but since ive had mental health problems i hate people. Dont get me wrong, i polite with folks and i wouldn't wish any harm on anyone, but people bore me. I hate them clique ones or them ones that are full of their crap. Ive have also had friends or acquintences that i know from school or uni that have completely ignored me for no reason or spoke to me a few times on facebook then they stopped talking to me once they got bored. Nne time, i would have got angry at these idiots but they not worth it.

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I have "friends". Nothing against them in any way. But their just people who seem to like being around me, as much as it's worth at the time. That's all. Friends ... ? Who knows. I don't.

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I don't have friends. I don't trust people I have work colleagues but i wouldn't dream of calling them friends. People are evil & backstabbing they talk about you behind your back therefore i don't want any friends. If it was up to me i would live on a desert island away from all humanity whatsoever

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