Joshua Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 Hi All, This is something that has come up again tonight but isnt something that hasnt been said before. Many people believe this is a support forum and those of you that do would be partly right but its much more than that. This place is about laughter, sharing, support, relationships, interactions, conflicts, fights and making up, learning, hurting, happiness, togetherness the list could go on forever and a day but most of all this place is about inclusion. Many people who join this site do so as they feel utterly alone and as if no one could possibly understand the chaos which is life to most of you, they join for understanding. Please be kind to each other but also recognise that being a member of this community will not always involve a smooth ride. People hurt and when people hurt they sometimes lash out at others, others that care... currellum, Pickle59, mjk and 25 others 28 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelly-bean Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 i do agree totally, and i do hope that this time i get this right, i have had my fallings out with some on here and its helped me grow and learn things about myself, i have laughed and i have shared my deepest darkest moments.... i have tried to go onto other sites but nothing is like this family that is here .... i have felt nt safe at times to post things but that was my insecurities and not the sites fault.....i hope you don't mind me posting this josh on here im just me one of the many here who would like to say THANK YOU .....for this site its helped me alot to do exactly what you have said its included me when i mostly feel isolated in my own world but here i feel that im a little more excepted and understood ...... ((((((((hugs))))))))))) to you all and thank you again ...xox Villan, sanctuary, Dani and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderstar Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 its a conflict and fighting forum? did you just really write that??? think i will spend my time on the other forum i go to which is support forum. Pixie Hollow and eli-lilly 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted November 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 I really did yes. I wish you all the best. mjk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 That's a very narrow minded of of what Josh has said wonderstar. I agree with him entirely. Where in the world do you find a place where there is absolutely no conflict and arguing? Nowhere, that's where! Yes, the primary role of this site is to provide support and understanding for those who need it, but we are all entitled to have differing opinions and as such, disagreements will arise. It's not the disagreements here that are the problem, it's the bitter, nastiness that, unfortunately, raises its head all too often. Disagreements are an unavoidable fact of life, it's how we deal with them that reflect what kind of person we are. lucyloo, Dani, wordsmithy and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 its a conflict and fighting forum? did you just really write that??? think i will spend my time on the other forum i go to which is support forum. One unfortunate aspect of this life is that there will be conflicts and fights in it no matter how careful you are to avoid them. Learning to deal with those conflicts and fights are all part of growing, healing, and maturing in life. Some here have said they feel afraid to post for fear of conflict. What about being afraid to post for fear of moderation? The mod's and staff members here are pretty easy going and very tolerant. They give people room to grow by allowing them to make mistakes and improve from them. There are many forums out there with far stricter rules than this one but I've always felt so suffocated by them. I have to trigger warn every other word and watch what I say for fear of being banned if I go into crisis and suddently switch personalities to one who is full of anger. (this actually happened on another forum). Here I don't have fear of that because I experience patient understanding from staff and memebers who cut me some slack in my bad moments and give me some grace and lee way. They embrace my dark horse as well as my white one, all accepting of me, faults and all, even when I lose it and go off the deep end. I know which forumn I'd prefer. WP wordsmithy, mjk and Christine001 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peregrine Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 Thanks for putting this up, Joshua. I struggle heavily with arguments (and not even being directly involved) but what's been going on over the past few days did teach me something which is just as valuable as compassionate support - it highlighted again for me how different we all are. We are all living in our own chaotic, isolated world but the more we share with others, the more this world might become part of others. Be it in sharing joy, tears or anger. wordsmithy, Warrior Princess, Christine001 and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 I think Josh makes a good point. It also links in to the issue of triggers. Some people feel that if person A has triggered person B, then its automatically person A's fault. Nobody can know what everyone's triggers are, we all have different ones. But its deeper than that, sometimes unfortunately triggering things need to be said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wynter Grace Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 I think Josh makes a good point. It also links in to the issue of triggers. Some people feel that if person A has triggered person B, then its automatically person A's fault. Nobody can know what everyone's triggers are, we all have different ones. But its deeper than that, sometimes unfortunately triggering things need to be said! I agree, at some point we will all say something that will trigger someone else, as long as it wasn't done intentionally to upset someone, we just have to be aware we are all different, and if you have read something that triggers you, don't reply and walk away from the computer for a bit x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 :masked: Great points well made Joshua, What I sometimes feel is forgotten that anger and conflict can be part of someone with bpd. I do read the threads that have conflict in them, occassionally I have commented, usually to try and mediate or even say stop it, sometimes when I am down they trigger but most of the time I dont comment, but for me this is a way to test out how I react, decide if I respond and is a safer place. Boy if I expressed the level of anger and shere hurtfulness I am very capable of or have expressed in real life it would be pretty awful. Maybe I am learning to control this here, other people may not be at that point yet. So I am learning, also have laughed but mostly feel this is the only place I can truely belong atm. I cant express how much that means to me. thanks. :masked: Jelly-bean, Warrior Princess and catsmother21 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guntarded Posted November 3, 2010 Report Share Posted November 3, 2010 Through past triggers myself, I have learned better ways and means to communicate my fears and deal with my triggers in a more affective manner. I do have this forum to thank, because often when we make mistakes they precipitate learning - we identify issues with ourselves we never knew we had, and try to make changes. I know I am not the same man I was 5 years ago, I know I have grown and I know that this forum was one of the pivotal reasons behind it. It has been invaluable to me and am grateful for it. Silverwolf, Ruth24, Villan and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted November 3, 2010 Report Share Posted November 3, 2010 (edited) im with u josh, life - and this place is part of ppls lives, an we r still the same ppl when we visit here - is about the entire deal, not just what might make us happy...and with that comes disagreements and maybe arguments but it doesnt mean thats the end of things etc thanx xx Edited November 3, 2010 by toaster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted November 3, 2010 Report Share Posted November 3, 2010 its a conflict and fighting forum? did you just really write that??? think i will spend my time on the other forum i go to which is support forum. what forum is that dude? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted November 4, 2010 Report Share Posted November 4, 2010 isnt a part of a lot of our illnesses defensiveness and pushing people away? so it would only be natural there may be more conflict here than other places. if theres 2 people who both feel defensive or worried about being wrong, then its not gonna be as simple to get past whatever issue there is. doesnt mean it cant happen like, just that this IS a mh forum and peoples reactions may be different to those without the problems we have :blink: Dani, sanctuary, Silverwolf and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadow8 Posted November 6, 2010 Report Share Posted November 6, 2010 I think this is a great thread and reading all the comment that have been posted shows what open people there are here. We all have different views on things but we try to get along. Obviously this is not all going to be possible and there will be conflict but that only helps us to grow and see other sides and opinions. Even tho there is this side to the forum there is other sides to it as well, like Josh has said. I have had some great laughs on this site and really helped me throu some hard days and nights. I have had some great support throu hard times and some friends (well I hope that they feel that way as well). I was always nervous coming on here first but you have to give it time for people to get to know you and trust you and the same with you to them. I have met some great people on here and it was great to actually met up with some as well. I am so thankful to you Josh for having this site and I also have to thank the people who come on here cos with out you lot I and others wouldnt have had the kind of support we needed and built good friendships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noja1982 Posted November 6, 2010 Report Share Posted November 6, 2010 Hi, I'm new here but already feel like I can say whatever is on my mind. This is the first time I've looked for any kind of support or help and I think this site is great. Although I'm still finding the whole experience quite scary, it's really comforting to know I'm free to express myself and that there are others out there going through the same stuff as me, good & bad. Avoiding talking about the bad things isn't going to help anyone and darker topics will always raise emotions. Not saying what I feel because of fear of conflict is one of the reasons I feel so bad to start with. Thanks Josh for running this site and I'm looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life here. Nick XRumerTest 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miko Posted November 7, 2010 Report Share Posted November 7, 2010 I wish you would post the 8 mottoes back up, they would remind me for one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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