Data Posted March 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 you may not fully understand how or why she feels the need for lists, but i think if it could help her feel more able to do a bit more around the house, then it is an excellent idea.... and if it doesn't work? then it doesn't work, but try it - you could both be very pleasantly surprised. Yeah, makes sense. I'll start with one list.... Thing is you won't cure the problem with lists. It might help a little though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starryeyesee Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hi Data I think what Crippie says about going through the rooms together making a list is a really good idea. It's also very positive of your wife to suggest making a list. This shows that she wants some help and recognises the problems of having an unclean house yet wanting to invite people round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 you may not fully understand how or why she feels the need for lists, but i think if it could help her feel more able to do a bit more around the house, then it is an excellent idea.... and if it doesn't work? then it doesn't work, but try it - you could both be very pleasantly surprised. Yeah, makes sense. I'll start with one list.... Thing is you won't cure the problem with lists. It might help a little though. Surely if it makes things even just a little easier for your wife, then that will make it easier for you too..... So it could actually make quite a difference. I certainly hope it helps. Will you let us know? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 another thing that step by step lists do is they chunk BIG BIG OVERWHELMING jobs down into ickle manageable bits... which alot of people, myself included, find much easier to achieve... especially if you get distracted cos you can tick off as you go and then return to jobs and know where you were... especially useful when heads are in mushy state... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted March 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Thanks for the tip, Chitma :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiddi Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Data, I think its a good suggestion from your wife. May I recommend flylady.net Its been very useful and helpful for me and many others. I would recommend letting your wife read it - its very nurturing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hi data I also think It very positive your wife is really reaching out to you with a constructive idea. She is looking at you for support in away that she feels you can really help her. Feel glad that she has been able to do this step which was probably quite hard, noone likes to admit things that they struggle with. It could be something hat could bring you closer together. B x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wade Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Sounds....... >_< very stressful. I feel empathy for you both and glad your wife is communicating her needs to you and you are hearing her. Safe hugs xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternal Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 My wife rang me at lunch today and she is really upset. Her church group are now having coffee mornings in their own homes and our house is so messy, we can't have people around here. She says that because of our son's behaviour and the way our house is, its isolating for her. She says she does not know how to tidy, she does not know what to do. She also says that when I come home and am critical of her it really upsets her. I think there are a lot of issues here and there are no simple solutions. In the long run I am hoping i can get us a cleaner, and maybe have a spring clean, but I am only on a trial at work at the moment so I need to wait until we are financially more secure before we start laying out money for cleaners. Also, a cleaner wouldn't be able to do his/her job until we tidy out, so we'd need to do a spring clean. My wife says she wants me to make her lists with all the steps in it, e.g. instructions for how to clean the bathroom. She says she gets distracted. I could try doing this, but I do not understand why she needs a list (This isn't a criticism by the way). Against all this, I struggle to do my uni work and deadlines slip further and further back. If I have a week off, I could do with doing that, not tidying our house. My dad suggested the other day that I should give up my doctorate. If I did that... the bottom would just drop out of my world. I daren't even think about the black hole of despair that would open up. I am calm about this now but when I've had a hard day of work and I come home and the wet bath towels are on the floor and the house is filthy and the perishable food left out on the side and the tap dripping and mess everywhere... it makes me go MAD. I do things, and when I come in other people have UN-DONE them! I can't change how i feel, although I try to control how I express it . Why not all the family do a spring clean together?Also i find if i put some music on i get through the housework much easier,I sing a long to my favourite tunes I hope everything works out for you Data and i am sorry for judging you yesterday :inlove3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted March 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2011 Data, I think its a good suggestion from your wife. May I recommend flylady.net Its been very useful and helpful for me and many others. I would recommend letting your wife read it - its very nurturing. Looks very interesting, thanks. I hope everything works out for you Data and i am sorry for judging you yesterday Thanks, the apology is accepted . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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