lonelyheartemma Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I got a phone call from the place i'm getting treatment from. they said i won't be able to go to college for 2 weeks after i've had the treatment or 4 weeks if theres anyone pregnant in my class. fuck that then. another fucking wasted year. I so wish my parents had never had me. I was an accident anyway, they wanted to stop after my sister and i wish they had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I feel much worse now my thread was locked, i said i wasnt going to do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 ((((Emma)))) I am sorry you have had bad news hun, you are such a sweetie I don't think you could ever be an accident. My son wasn't planned but our lives aren't just about "our" plans. I believe a higher power has plans for us all, and I just know hun you are destined to do something great. It is disappointing right now, frustrating. But hold on hun and be kind to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 ((((((((Emma)))))))) xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules7 Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I'm sorry you feel worse, but I'm glad you came back ((((Emma)))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 what was locked? if it was a goodbye post they are all locked, but you should have received a pm about it? What treatment are you having done? can you not start college late? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honeyflower Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 ((((emma)))) I am sorry that you feel crap,My daughter wasn't planned too but I still wouldn't change her for the world.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 hey sweety just seen the locked post, all goodbye posts are locked, it is nothing personal against you, and lily did reply in the post to say she was locking it. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 i think it wil be the one about you going away, well hun there were loads of people on it saying they didnt want you to leave it is a shame you cant have a copy of it maybe ask Lily as you would then konw how much you are loved here. as for the treatment, will that sort things out for good? and I know you probably dont have the inclination to do this yet but hope you will contact the college and ask if there is any way around this as this is a disability issue and I suspect they have a responsibilty to find a way to support you do the course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 the locked post is still there and readable hope that helps, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlylight1 Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 (((emma)))xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 It wasnt a suicide goodbye, i said i was not going to commit suicide and as i usually post every day a lot i thought people would worry if i wasnt there. total waste of time tho as i came back anyway. I dont understand the difference between me making a post like that and other people doing it. but i don't understand very much atm except everything hurts. they need to sort my thyroid out coz they think its putting pressure on my heart and causing problems there, stopping heart meds from working, i don't really understand it but neither do they, theyve never seen a case like mine. college should understand but its up to the head of learning support and she refuses to listen to a word i say, she just makes assumptions about me and tells me off for things i never said and wouldnt say coz its not true. like she just refuses to believe i got gcse english, she said anyone who got a U has to take pre gcse classes but i got a D and that included the oral where i couldnt say a word. Exams are handwritten, my handwriting is a mess but typing i miss the keys and the text dances a little bit even on a good day so i can't see perfectly what i write especialy as i'm usually trying not to cry so i make mistakes in typing i don't make in handwriting but for official typing i put spelling and grammar check on and look really carefully. But she doesnt believe me and she hasnt even seen me type but she has seen my gcse certificates but nothing gets through to her. I have told the college tho, I had to email anyway and confirm if i could go to my interview on Monday, i said yes but i've got this new problem now, the doctor who refered me said i would only have to miss a week of college but the specialists are saying 2-4 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honeyflower Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I don't understand why have a missing member section if we aren't allowed to post in it,I know we are allowed but they are locked. emma,I wish I could make all your hurt better for you.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I think the forum is really there so people can post when they are worried about someone. but if people also post in there when they know they are going, everyone is less worried. are they all locked? i suppose i never really checked, once i've read the first post from the person leaving i probably don't look again. thank you (((((((honeyflower)))))) i'm glad your still here xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I thought Id try to clear up some of the confusion. All goodbye posts are locked,it doesnt have to be a suicide goodbye,any goodbye.We do this because a lot of members change their mind,like you did Emma. You are of course free to PM your friends to say youre leaving. Emma I hope you can understand that it wasnt a personal thing,we always do this. The thought of missing another year,thats a lot to deal with! I dont know how you get from that to;nobody cares, though? Lily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 PS its different if you post you are taking a break,we leave those open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Thank you for explaining Lily, i thought goodbye thread was just a way of saying suicide thread, you know how sometimes people dont want to say emotional words like suicide so they say something less loaded? I do have doubts that people on here care all the time coz everyone who cares for a while always stopped caring and depression and low self esteem can make you doubt everything all the time. but in the thread title i meant you are the only people who care. my parents dont care, i dont have a cpn or anyone yet and i feel like i can't make calls to samaritans or whoever when my parents are home because they will overhear and ask who i'm phoning and tell me off for wasting the samaritans time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Hi Emma. I hope you don't leave. You are a valuable member here. You always care about others and try to help out anyone, even if it is just to say you care and are there. Please don't leave, I for one will miss you. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honeyflower Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Thank you for explaining Lily, i thought goodbye thread was just a way of saying suicide thread, you know how sometimes people dont want to say emotional words like suicide so they say something less loaded? I do have doubts that people on here care all the time coz everyone who cares for a while always stopped caring and depression and low self esteem can make you doubt everything all the time. but in the thread title i meant you are the only people who care. my parents dont care, i dont have a cpn or anyone yet and i feel like i can't make calls to samaritans or whoever when my parents are home because they will overhear and ask who i'm phoning and tell me off for wasting the samaritans time. emma you are really amazing and are really loved here...I for one like you alot,You are thoughtful kind,I wish I could make you believe that.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Aww honeyflower xxx still feel really depressed, just got to get through the day somehow.and the next day and the next for the rest of my life. that gaming site has upset me again, i was supposed to be doing a special interview but the questions are so rude and sexist, i just don't want anything to do with people like that. So I told my friend on there i wasnt going on the forums anymore. He'll probably be annoyed with me. he's tried really hard to get people to include me but the other guys are either really insulting or they laugh at me, I dont want to be friends with them. edit- he is annoyed. fine, whatever. I havent got space in my head to be upset about that too. edit- okay maybe i am upset but why should i put up with that shit? I'm quite tempted to go and answer the questions but i'll probably get banned if i write what i want to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja. Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 hey emma. i only just seen this thread as i have not been online much over the past few days, but want to say that i would care a lot if you weren't here, and would miss you a lot xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 I would miss you too manja. but i wouldnt miss me. just hate myself for getting involved in the stupid forums. I didnt want to but i didnt want to say no. just want to delete my account now but i'm going to finish my game first, unfortunately thats going to take a few weeks. feel so unstable and out of control, everything makes me cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja. Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 what forum is it that you hate yourself for getting involved in hun?Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 just a site i've been playing games on for a couple of years, i always played the games and stayed off the forums and i liked it like that because i was just there for the games. but then I had some problems with the game after an upgrade and an admin guy started helping me and then he started telling me i needed to go on the forums. I didnt want to do it but it was easier to say yes. but people are horrible on there, they dont want girls on there, i also got called lazy scum for being on benefits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja. Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 can you just stay away altogether hun? might be best if it's not a good place for you to be xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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