pennx Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Hello Beth and Steve, thank you for looking out for me :-) been feeling very unsupported of late and the prospect of therapy interfering with my job is making everything feel very frail and uncertain x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Hey pennx, wonderful to hear from you, really it is... Yes, frail and uncertain, yes pennx, we know this fragile walk of uncertainty... thinking for you strength and determination...MBB I am safe, but do not want to leave the fortress, so today I will not, I think the 'battle scars' have earned me a day of comforting! Be safe as you can dear peoples, well wishes MBB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Hey sorry, it just that BERENGER... Wishing you well, really hoping that you are present, and, safe from harm... I really look forward to seeing you out here... Thoughts from MBB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BVBarmygirl Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 I'm not having a good time...actually I'm the lowest you can go, I have a suicide plan for Monday. But I'm trying my best at the moment to desperately try and surround myself with good memories. I go to a lot of music concerts and I take lots of videos so I watch them all back when I feel bad to remind myself of what I'd be leaving behind, and it reminds me how lucky I am really in this life despite my diagnosis of severe depression and BPD. Rogue xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Pennx....I hope you can work around the therapy issues Beth...yes...stay safe Rogue...suicide plan...can you speak with someone...please stay safe. A very tired...feeling my age...overly pessimistic...Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellar Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Hi, If i am feeling bad,making harm plans etc.I find that music brings me through.I know that it is one of the few things that calms me.I know that listening to certain things can trigger me.But on the whole i tend to see it as a salvation(no,i'm not religious).I need to see your name her Tuesday BVBarmygirl,keep watching those videos. Take care all Stellar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Stellar...music helps me too :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 I am awake most nights until 3am Steve it's really getting me down and the suicidal thoughts are setting in now can't cope anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 How much sleep do get on a night Addy?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 4 or 5 hours but it's broken I got to sleep around 3 or 3.30 and then I often wake in a panic around five sometimes after a nightmare and then I take a panic attack many times my partner wakes me as I am screaming in my sleep then I might sleep another 2hours and wake up In a panic again sometimes if I'm lucky I can sleep another two hours after the kids go to school but each time I wake at night I am awake up to an hour. My psychiatrist hoped the meds won't help but they don't and even as I fall asleep I sometimes take a panic attack I seem to be afraid of sleep then theory is that night was never safe for me and the fear is still there and so far I can't deal with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Addy...do you have sleeping pills?? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 No they said they wanted me to sleep without them and he upped my trazadone and quietapine which does make me drowsy but my sleep is still really bad he said another reason he didn't give me sleeping tablets was cause of my kids if they needed me I wouldn't be able to wake up to them if I took tablets so instead I just stay awake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Is your partner there at night?? Could he get up?? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 He could Steve then he would complain about it but things are getting desperate and I see my psychiatrist next month so I will say to him again I have an appt with my gp tomorrow so I could ask her but I was going to see her about back pain and I want her to listen she always puts everything down to anxiety it's frustrating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Addy...this is severe...please discuss with GP...you need more sleep. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pennx Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Good evening lovelies, I hope you are all safe today xxx Beth and Steve, I have CAB tomorrow and occupational health assessment wednesday, then group therapy begins 20th may (will be 8 months on waiting list!) - but only the UPD group so uncertain how helpful it will really be. Drowning in uni work and the fear of unemployment but, we must muddle through. Thank you for your kind words and Addy, I do hope you are ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Pennx....good luck...well done for keeping on.. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I will tomorrow I really need to get this anxiety sorted too it's beyond me now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 pennx well done I will think of you... addy I am thinking of you, stay strong... Lovely peoples I am safe, but I been having extreme anxiety and headaches last night and through today... and Now GP and Support worker are insistent on my going hospital, so I will be going in the morning... I just think it is all the stress and staple stiches hurt! Be safe and be well I am sorry that I cannot be here with all of you... but I will send well wishes from the heart anyway...MBB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Addy and Beth...stay safe...good luck. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellar Posted April 29, 2014 Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 BVBarmygirl, Please check in! Stellar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellar Posted April 29, 2014 Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Hi Rogue, Have had more of a chance to visit your website.I have so much to say positive about it that i don't know where to start.I think you have soooooo much to offer.I get everything and where you are coming from.From the music,to the films,the poems,your blog.I totally get you.I was reading your advice sections on depression and BPD,suicidal feelings.I will be visiting again because it was so well rounded and more-ish to read.Will go more in-depth when know you are safe. I just pray you are okay,because your blog leaves things hanging after saying you had cancelled but then taking "wipe out"(as i call them)doses,which could be a precurser to full overdose. Please be safe,you are special and extremely talented Stellar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Hope you are safe Rogue... Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Beth..thank you for letting us know...hope you are feeling well soon.. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellar Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 Reading between the lines,understand,don't worry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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