Threemoons Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Yes Maddy, I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 How are u today three moons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 Today, trying to process our last counselling session at handicap employment service and to get back some hope from it but bloody mind is resisting my efforts by doubts and not believing something good will happen. We had a dream about life before it went bad, think we remembered a bit of when we were only one in the body. I felt sad when waking up as it was so peaceful before. And then M inside said "Mum doesn't love me" (she doesn't believe M is real) and she cried, which was heart-breaking. I can't bear children crying. Tried to sleep earlier to escape the sadness inside but it doesn't work. Mum will be hospitalized ten days soon (in the beginning of February) to look after her injured hand. Everybody thinks we'll be fine, just a nagging thought inside saying what if the suicidal feelings return while she's away. She said that she would resent us if we did something bad during those days and it crushed us. I don't feel like we had any control over it during our last bad acting, we just couldn't fight anymore the pressure to do it. I'm hurt by her words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 Threemoons...you sound under pressure...try to relax? Not so easy to do I know Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 huge hugs three moons. Hang in there. It will get better. Promis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Thanks both. Feeling less sad today. How are you yourselves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Cold....weather is dreadful Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Is it snowing where you live? Here weather reports announced snow alert last week but we didn't see any. I think there was more snow in winter when I was a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 hope your feeling a bit better now three moons. Xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Yes, I'm feeling better, Maddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 keep posting here if it helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thanks Maddy, I will keep writing some things as it helps us to think clearer about them. Had a call today, I'm starting another counselling program from handicap employment on Monday. It's in a group setting this time, which will make me feel awkward but I'm hoping I'll benefit more from the group dynamic than I would in one to one. My mum drove us to the bus stops we'll have to use so we can know the places and recognize them better, which is super nice from her. Hope we won't get lost then. Less pleasant, I've found out that our driving license is no longer valid (doctors had given us a temporary aptitude certificate). We no longer drive for now anyway but I would like to keep our papers in case we're more able in the future. Will have to call to clarify if we have to pass again the medical exam only or also the driving tests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complex-lemon Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Threemoons - rooting for you. From all I have read you are greatly respected on here, your comments for myself were very insightful too. It is a battle at times - absolutely with you on that - but I think you most definitely have a chance to get to a much much more deserving and contented life. Have seen you incredibly supportive of many on here and see that this is rewarded in kind. Had a massive amount of therapy myself and eventually found the right person for me to help me through my journey. Feel that clinging onto glimmers will eventually reap your much deserved better life ahead. Keep chatting though - always helps me. Definitely big time hugs from me too Best wishes Lemon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 31, 2015 Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 huge hugs three moons xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 Thanks for the hugs and supportive words, both. It's much appreciated. Hugs back to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 31, 2015 Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 we all here to support each other...thats whats so good about this site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted February 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 Hi. I'm now participating to a career advising group for people whose handicap makes them unable to continue their ancient job. People with me are great and it helps to socialize a bit but at the same time they talk about some triggering things like abuse in their past and witnessing abuse on old people in nursing homes and what they say plays in echos in our head and worsen my feelings of disgust for this world and not wanting to live much longer. Also, I talked about important stuff to our psychiatrist and felt like our feelings were dismissed again. I don't feel like he is helping, I'm confused by his reactions and I'm losing trust in him but I would be scared of trying with someone else too so I feel stuck. Wanting to have an accident and die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 huge hugs three moons. Xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted February 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 Thank you Maddy. I'm feeling so miserable, it's like I'm drowning and no one around knows how to swim so no one can help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 keep posting here if it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
basimelhabashy Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Very good written. It is easy to give sympathy to someone but as hard to suffering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted February 24, 2015 Report Share Posted February 24, 2015 Hope your ok three moons. Hope life isnt such a struggle for you these days. Huge hugs from me and wheekwheeks from the pigs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted February 24, 2015 Report Share Posted February 24, 2015 I too miss threemoons. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 Hope your all right three moons. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon5 Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 thinking of you threemoons x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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