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What Is Standing Next To Me?


verbena

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I caned some tomatoes this weekend and while I stood at the sink peeling them, concentrating on just that one tomato, I swear, it was as though IT stood at my left and slightly back, wanting to take over. Can any of you ever sense, almost feel IT? Is that an alter, waiting to take over and make things miserable? I was doing fine for that 10 minutes, and I could almost see IT. Is that my imagination or have any of you ever experienced that?

Verbena

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I have to say yes, i have experienced this many times. Some days i will be even be feeling really great and this still happens. I believe it's just the pattern of behavior that the brain recognizes and returns to. I will sometimes be doing wonderful and something out of no where says, "common, you are suicidal right now, you know you are." It's really scary and i have to tell myself that it's not true, that i'm having a really good day and that I'm not suicidal at all. As i said, i think it's just pattern of behavior and changing patterns of behavior and changing the thought process have to be the hardest things to overcome and change. It takes a lot of time and concentration (mindfulness). You could use the distract skill of "Pushing Away" in times like these. Just mindfully push the thoughts of IT taking over away...and do this every time it seems to find itself back in your thoughts. Push it away over and over and over.

Take Care,

kristy

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I lose time and i have no control over it, there are 2 other parts to me who come when i cant deal with stuff, they only ever talk to one person. i believe that they are bits of me that i cant be as me, if that makes any sense. one of them does anger, me as me doesnt i find it hard to express anger especially at those people i love so much for fear if i get angry they will leave me.

this probably makes no sense at all but i just wanted to let you know that it happens to me.

flippy

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  • 2 weeks later...

When you say "IT," are you referring to Pennywise the clown!?? I can't believe this openness, I'm so used to people looking at me like I have four heads when I talk about my hallucinations!... I here people calling me names, then turn around and there's no-one there, I have a friend called Nancy that only I can hear (not see), she tells me to stab or kill people when they're being hurtful or even just annoying. She tries to take over so she can hurt people through me when I wont do what she says... colours and sounds become enhanced, like people across the room are yelling right in my ear, I see people walking through walls, stretching out of the TV and trying to pull me in, my own reflection and be a real creepy bastard when I'm alone, I grin at myself and I have fangs and red eyes n shit!, a recent one was Billy Corgan (lead singer of the smashing pumpkins) hiding in my bushes, then when he realised I'd spotted him, he transformed into Nosferatu and started crawling up my driveway on his belly, licking blood off the pavement... that was quite scary, as you can imagine! Sometimes it's not even a visual thing, I just become convinced of something when it's not true, like "there's someone lurking behind that plant pot!!!" Do other people have equally scary experiences???...

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Ya got me there Myrtle. No, I don't have such scary hallucinations. More just like what I said about feeling kind of seeing things behind me just standing there. You have 3D noisey folks! It must be difficult to tell the real from the unreal. How do you do it?

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Verbena,

Don't worry about it. I see spirits, and orbs, and such around me frequently. It kinda runs in the family. And Dexters mom sees alot of the same things... Whatever you saw probably was harmless, perhaps someone just trying to let you know they are there? Did anyone teach you how to do those tomatoes??? Maybe it was them, because it doesn't matter if that person is alive or dead, because there is always astral travel... Don't worry about it.

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