pass_the_prozac Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 I looked into the best BPD treatment center in the US and for five days of evaluation and 8 weeks of residential intensive treatment, that's what I'll have to shell out. It would remove roughly half of my 35 years of net worth but I will be worth nothing to myself if I relieve myself with my 1911 pistol then would I? My only hope is that I will be able to borrow enough money to get through med school someday if I come out on the other side and get into one. At this point I can't even go back to school.Yes, life is so fucking unfair isn't it????? Half my life of work, sweat, stress, and putting up with assholes etc. wasted on a fucking treatment for something I never deserved and with no guarantees of success. I had always hoped I would be able to use the money to own a house, at least I'll have a good down payment after all? maybe.I am getting worse by the day and if I don't do something quick I'll be lost in the abyss of anonymity and chaos just like my mum. I always said if I ended up like her I would do "it". I think it is a sound investment. Actually I think it is the only logical investment. I'm going to look further into treatment this next week and see if my insurance will offset some of the cost. I sure hope so. Yeah, I'm choosing the most reputable place I can find b/c I have only one shot at this. If I start regressing afterwords, I'm a gone'er, guaranteed. I don't care how scared I am.Honestly, my mental health care provider isn't capable of providing the services I need. I've been with them for 8 years and I have only gotten worse progressively. The symptoms were there all along. They still don't have a comprehensive treatment strategy that differs significantly from the one I have been on all along. I can't go on like this. I will be an old man by the time they get done with me. I want a life. I want a wife, children, and love. What I have is no life at all.I hope I can pull this off. Wish me luck my friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs tree Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 Goch prozac...not sure what to think about this..The only thing in my mind is it seems extreme which is very much black and white thinkg from BPD...It seems you have gone from pointelss rubish for the MH team to the best facilitites in the country.I also think if you go ahead you may well be disappointed I went into a TC with the same motivation as you its worth giving up my life for a year to get better..I think it did help but it wasn't the magical solution i'd hoped it would be.Mrs Tree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 good luck hun (((huggies))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axelle Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 Waaaoooo Prozac!thats sounds really determined!!!!But to be honest, 8 weeks to make a major change seems really short to me!Perhaps you need to have a look at longer treatment!It's a life time learning and conditionning that need breaking down!Sorry I don't mean to discourage you at all, but I don't want you either to through yourself in an expensive treatment that might disappointe you !!!!Well done for taking things in hands! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonkate Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 60 thousand dollarsreallysounds a bit dodgy to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caz Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 When I was more ill I thought there would be an answer for me and if only I found it, I'd recover. Now I don't think this is so. I think you need to learn to deal with life and its all the better if it is in context. My concern is that this is too short a time to really let all the implications of what you are learning to sink in. You need to decide for yourself but it seems like a big risk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvlyldy Posted November 5, 2005 Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 would love to be able to afford to pay for intensive therapy ........ if you can afford it do it, it will probably be the best money you have ever spent ......... this drip drip drip..... one hour a week (when the appointments aren't cancelled) does my head in.Go fot it.L xx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pass_the_prozac Posted November 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2005 You're right tree, it's certainly black and white thinking. right now I only see my T once every three weeks and like I said, I'm going backwards. I'm very, very scared. I would certainly continue therapy afterward. I understand it wouldn't be the end of therapy when I get done. Treating BPD takes a long time but this would get things moving in the right direction, geeze I would frickin hope anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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