Dead People?

[alphaOmega]

I went to a coffee house to hear my friend play music last night, first time out to have fun in a while. She was great!

BUT- the folks in there seemed so emotionally dead to me. Do ya'll ever feel this?

It kinda feels like the way Edward Munch's painting, the scream looks... btw, he was supposed to be BPD, too.

These people had no heart connection, I wanted to cry when we left~ would never wanna be normal if thats what its like. Don't get me wrong, sometimes when alone, the self hate threatens to swallow me whole, it is terrible and the undercurrent of unworthiness is the pits, like not being worth anything unless I give everything have away, but damn, the rest of the time, its better than what these people have, emotional death.

They had no emotional interest in anything... music, no expression, no sadness, no joy... These people had no spark in their eyes, no connection, no nothing- soul-less... it was just sad.

I left feeling empty and depressed, but later got glad to be me for a change, intense or not.

If thats normal, they can have it!! <_<

[Betsy]

yes, have felt the same way. "normal" seems to make people misserable

[toonkate]

sometimes i feel emotionless or cold hearted

i love that painting, the scream

[alphaOmega]

sometimes i feel emotionless or cold hearted

i love that painting, the scream

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Kate, maybe thats what normal feels like {{{{}}}}

[Barebones]

i have very bad spells of not feeling anything. its like i dont have a heart. makes me very pissed of with myself. well i guess thats a emotion hmm ok ive condricted myself.. doh

[EmmieShadow]

i have very bad spells of not feeling anything. its like i dont have a heart. makes me very pissed of with myself. well i guess thats a emotion hmm ok ive condricted myself.. doh

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I usually call it my "zombie mode" numbness/emptyness no emotion/feeling.

I guess its to protect myself from whatever feelings I should be expressing. I guess too overwhelming for myself to deal with so mind shuts off all feelings emotions. Thats only explaination I can come up with. I guess ignorance is bliss in those times..

:huh:

[Flying fish]

when feeling emotions is too painful or intense, I think we can create a kind of shell or barrier to protect ourselves. It's a survival strategy. But you then get the numbness.

That painting, The Scream, I've felt an affinity with it since I was really young. I didn't know he was bpd. I didn't know I was then either. weird.

[alphaOmega]

have very bad spells of not feeling anything. its like i dont have a heart. makes me very pissed of with myself. well i guess thats a emotion hmm ok ive condricted myself.. doh

Yeah, no, not talking about that, thats normal for us- thats ok (??)- This is like they're like that all the time. BB, you've have periods of "wildness" and laugh alot, like when you're hyper... we all have intense emotions... but its like these folks don't, ever and they're like that all the time.

There was also no empathy- like totally self absorbed... the scream painting would be *it*. maybe i was looking for a connection and felt isolated again, could be it.

FlyingFish, here's a cool link about it, doesn't mention BPD all that often, but its still good: Munch

Not saying this is it 100%, but it sure does look like it... Van Gogh was thought to be BPD, too- many say it was bipolar, but if you watch the biography movie "Lust For Life" and read about him, he's classic BPD: hates to be left alone, gets attached to Gaugin (a narcissist), goes haywire when Gaugin leaves him, freaks out when he's rejected, cuts off his ear- presumably to stop the voices. Drinks, needy, fights, passionate. He only "succeeds" cuz his brother won't give up on him... look at his paintings, some of them are the same place (mental hospital) but one is sunny and bright and the other is dark and sad- he uses also opposite, contrasting colors, blue-orange, violet-yellow, red-green. There's rarely any middle value, its all intense. Cool!

[EmmieShadow]

Hmmm makes me think of Princess Diana, I vagely remember reading she apparently was a classic BPD. I dont know if this was true either. Was it ever confirmed?

This thread seems to be turning into the history of famous dead people and their personality disorders.

[alphaOmega]

Hmmm makes me think of Princess Diana, I vagely remember reading she apparently was a classic BPD. I dont know if this was true either. Was it ever confirmed?

This thread seems to be turning into the history of famous dead people and their  personality disorders.

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I heard about her, too~

famous dead people/pd's... funny how that happens- thread is named "Dead People" anyway, lol.

Bet this topic comes up alot, tho? I don't mind, some of it makes me feel better and gives hope. Princess Di, Any others? Oh, besides the mommy dearest lady, whats her name... marylin monroe and james dean, too- at least they're cool, tho.

What are some living ones, too? (suspected can count, if you want)

[EmmieShadow]

Im sure quite a lot of singers/muscians are. Reading their lyrics they seem to be saying a lot of things that goes on inside. Evanescance is one i can think of atm.. watching flubber (film) atm :)

[toonkate]

i think most ppl show traits of bpd at some point or other during their life, i dont think its possible to say (not for sure anyway) that someone who is now dead had bpd (unless they were diagnosed by a shrink)

[alphaOmega]

Im sure quite a lot of singers/muscians are. Reading their lyrics they seem to be saying a lot of things that goes on inside. Evanescance is one i can think of atm.. watching flubber (film) atm

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Yeah, they're one of my favorites... so is Enigma. Check out In the shadow, in the light lyrics

i think most ppl show traits of bpd at some point or other during their life, i dont think its possible to say (not for sure anyway) that someone who is now dead had bpd (unless they were diagnosed by a shrink)

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Good point....

[EmmieShadow]

i think most ppl show traits of bpd at some point or other during their life, i dont think its possible to say (not for sure anyway) that someone who is now dead had bpd (unless they were diagnosed by a shrink)

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Yea was just a review I was looking at for a book just now for Princess Diana,

here

Dont think she is qualified, but then I doubt a lot of medical professionals diagnosis.

[Flying fish]

Thanks for the Munch link. Too much to read tonight. another time. Art/creativity and mental health must be so intrinsically linked. Is it to do with which bits of the brain are used?

[EmmieShadow]

Yeah, they're one of my favorites... so is Enigma. Check out In the shadow, in the light lyrics

I just checked out those lyrics, almost gives you reasurance that someone is there no matter what.

I been awake far too early in morning and this office/room is freeeezing 13C only just feel my fingers hehe. Just put Evanescence - bring me to life on.

I think the video of it is more effective than purely just listening. I love the way evanescence acts out her lyrics. Got it on from the website, it plays the whole video. Even the people in happy masks in the background she passes, one of them removes a mask and she is crying under it. Just the way I view it maybe, but its true that half the time people dont see that there is a problem with us, because we hide it sooo very well and its usually too late to save them. At least thats the way it shows it in the video, maybe someone else can pick up something else from the video, it seems I can only get the video to work from the website if I select WINDOWS: sml strm - lrg strm, in top right.

[pandaprincess]

ooh arts and music

Does anybody know Van Gogh's SORROW? ...Thats one of my favourites. I think everybody gets to feel like that at some point in their lives...

[alphaOmega]

Yeah, they're one of my favorites... so is Enigma. Check out In the shadow, in the light lyrics

I just checked out those lyrics, almost gives you reasurance that someone is there no matter what.

I been awake far too early in morning and this office/room is freeeezing 13C only just feel my fingers hehe. Just put Evanescence - bring me to life on.

I think the video of it is more effective than purely just listening. I love the way evanescence acts out her lyrics. Got it on from the website, it plays the whole video. Even the people in happy masks in the background she passes, one of them removes a mask and she is crying under it. Just the way I view it maybe, but its true that half the time people dont see that there is a problem with us, because we hide it sooo very well and its usually too late to save them. At least thats the way it shows it in the video, maybe someone else can pick up something else from the video, it seems I can only get the video to work from the website if I select WINDOWS: sml strm - lrg strm, in top right.

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Hi Emmie, thanks for the Diana link, it was informative... lol about being cold and "bring me to life"- good choice!

You're not the only one who saw that in the video~ unless you live/work with someone really sensitive, folks don't know anythings wrong with us.

Amy Lee acts her stuff... like a dark fairy tale princess~ so many stories are. The subtelties of what she says is amazing- like the (sacificial) crucifixion wounds in "My Immortal". Do watch "Everybody's Fool"... We found the live CD with the video DVD- it has all those videos PLUS new songs concert.

We hide well, even from ourselves. The video "Everybody's Fool" slapped me in the face... didn't know who i was til i saw myself in her... my hair stood up on my arms and I would have cried if i could breathe. Someone had gotten in my mind and knew me. (wish i was that sexy, tho, lol). Have you seen it?

False faces and family, so everyone else is OK- the good daughter, the wild-crazy friend, the adventurer, the seductress wife. What do we buy to make ourselves feel loved? What acts do we put on to feel loved? Check out (in words) what she really thinks of herself. Can't see it without losing it... too close to home. Check out the video's time: 333. Its in my sn- usually see it everywhere.

This is one of my favorite bands in the whole wide world- always gives me chills to hear them. Most CD's only one or 2 songs are good, but not this one... all of them. If she is this sad inside, Amy Lee doesn't show it, if you do get to see the concert video, look at the behind the scenes. She hams it up big time LOL, good to see some fun, too.

Ozzy is also pretty BPD in his lyrics: Secret Loser lyrics, and My Jeckyll doesn't Hide (lol). Metallica, too- Until it sleeps and Bleeding Me. Wow, powerful stuff.

ooh arts and music

Does anybody know Van Gogh's SORROW? ...Thats one of my favourites. I think everybody gets to feel like that at some point in their lives...

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Oh yeah! Here's a bunch, awesome feast for the eyes... Embroidery, but colors are awesome.

Thanks for the Munch link. Too much to read tonight. another time. Art/creativity and mental health must be so intrinsically linked. Is it to do with which bits of the brain are used?

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Hi Fish makes me wonder, there's so many "issues" among artists, even the older ones like Michelangelo~ composers and poets are like that, too. Maybe part of the brain is awake in visual/expressive folks that isn't in other people- maybe its from being so emotional that it has to be expressed in some way. I self injure more when I don't create, so maybe s/i and creative expression is linked? When I didn't paint, i did it all the time.

Check out paragraphs 5 and 6, its about Poe's obsession, intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Who better to describe it?

Here's some links that'll keep you busy Haven't read them all, either... lol- pardon my compulsiveness, never do anything half assed.

Mentally Ill famous people

This looks GOOD!

Creativity, Evolution and Mental Illness

Creativity and Mental Disorder

Creativity and psychiatry

Creativity and Mental Illness II

Touched with Fire

With music, art and fairy tales, symbolism RULES. You don't have to know how you feel, but you know you feel like... this. Its all about what you relate to. Frida Kahlo is cool, ever looked at her stuff? Basquait is good~ tells his story so well. Egon Schiele and Klimt, fine stuff! Oooooohhhh, William Blake.

Whats ya'll's favorites?

I paint- when i don't self defeat before going to the easel, lol. Last piece, I hung myself with snakes (figure borrowed from Klimt's Medicine). Right now, a cross between "Velveteen Rabbit" and "The Scream" is in the works- its called "Velveteen Scream", lol- an intense, "thick" person with scars who is becoming real (a screaming Rabbit) is where the "screaming guy" is- has bunny ears and all. The rabbit is a reflection of its environment, taking on the colors of where it is- its intense. it also has connotations to the book "When Rabbit Howls" because of the past trauma- mine isn't like hers, but causes the same alienation feelings.

On the peir is a bunch of folks the rabbit is afraid of, they're blue, cold and distant with barbs/spikes coming out of them... the rabbit isn't like them, feels flawed, exposed, alienated and afraid of them. It wants to be with them but is afraid to...

The background/environment is typical, boring, stifling south- hot, volcanic-colored, thick, smothering. Stereotypical pine trees, shrimp boat, peir- might even put in a seagull poop, too. lol.

Sorry, got excited and went overboard.

Hey Josh, we need a creativity section, what do you think??

[goodnightmoon]

i despise (sometimes more than others) being around people, especially large groups of them. i feel as though everyone is so fake, dead, and not really there...not to mention that i feel the same about myself so the combo is quite intense and irritating at times.

although, it's funny because sometimes i can look at someone, let's say my boyfriend, and he'll seem pretty real to me one second. However, other times that i look at him, it's as if i didn't realize that i had been next to him for the past couple of hours. It's sort as though he cant see me, and that i'm just watching him through a glass wall which to me appears to be a dream. wierd.

[TheChangeling]

lots of ppl aren't real, iam a musician, adn i have played to roomms full of dead ppl...........ok be fair sometimes thry're alve, but then sometimes i'm dead

[undead66]

i always loved the scream too. WEIRD. we all have an affinity for it.

there are a lot of musicians who seem really bpd. fiona apple seems very bpd. a lot of other ones too.

i know what the original poster meant about the room full of dead people. it's like sometimes it feel like most of the people are so non-real. it almost seems like they don't really feel things. it's like they can just sit in a cafe drinking coffee and sitting around, and then go home, and they had fun in this robotic way. I don't know. The Stepford Coffee Drinkers.

Sometimes I think it would be cool if all the super-sensitive people, or whatever you want to call it, could have their own private island, with huge gigantic walls so no tourists or mean people could come in. and then the private island people could just farm and be nice and have a semi-normal society, but it would just be less burdensome. society would be designed around a more frail/alive/creative psyche. people would only be expected to work 4 days a week, for 5-6 hours, instead of 8. and people could just be nicer.

On the one hand, it's my fault i'm so sad. but on the other hand, it's not. Society is just made for a different type of brain than mine. It's made for calm, patient, mellow people who see things with a lower contrast. Things are too over-powering for me to function.

[alphaOmega]

i always loved the scream too. WEIRD. we all have an affinity for it.

there are a lot of musicians who seem really bpd. fiona apple seems very bpd. a lot of other ones too.

i know what the original poster meant about the room full of dead people. it's like sometimes it feel like most of the people are so non-real. it almost seems like they don't really feel things. it's like they can just sit in a cafe drinking coffee and sitting around, and then go home, and they had fun in this robotic way. I don't know. The Stepford Coffee Drinkers.

Sometimes I think it would be cool if all the super-sensitive people, or whatever you want to call it, could have their own private island, with huge gigantic walls so no tourists or mean people could come in. and then the private island people could just farm and be nice and have a semi-normal society, but it would just be less burdensome. society would be designed around a more frail/alive/creative psyche. people would only be expected to work 4 days a week, for 5-6 hours, instead of 8. and people could just be nicer.

On the one hand, it's my fault i'm so sad. but on the other hand, it's not. Society is just made for a different type of brain than mine. It's made for calm, patient, mellow people who see things with a lower contrast. Things are too over-powering for me to function.

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{{{{Undead66}}} Your whole post is adorable, Stepford Coffee Drinkers- That is a good one!

I'd be the first one to hand in an application for your island I love the calm, patient, mellow low contrast analogy... great description and tie-in with gray to b/w thinking. Everything seems big to me, overwhelming, too.

thanks,

[TheChangeling]

room fo r me too?? i'll play for my supper.......i need somewhere to get awayRIGHT NOW

[alphaOmega]

{{{Oudista}}}} Of course! Whats up?

[TheChangeling]

life's little rolloercaaster keepspicking me up foolingme things are better adn dropping me down as quick as it can,hard to live with in the world, onthe island i could hide better