Does Anyone Else Feel Lonely Here?

[JTBadBug]

I just wondered how many people come here and still feel lonely? I suspect most people feel lonely here at sometime. I am struggling to join in at the moment and I don't know why. I generally sit and read what I can, post when I feel I have something to say, but, I don't have much conversation....I suppose I am wittering at the moment, probably just because I want to tell someone, anyone, that I feel lost here....and here has been my safe haven for most of this year. Even when I was not posting I was here daily, reading. Perhaps I should have saved this for my journal or posted it in the attention seekers forum instead.

[Axelle]

Jane i am with you on that one!

I wish we had a room closed by where we could see each other, meet, ... and have a laugh

you can not just say "I feel lonely", and people telling you you are not, and ... evrything is well!

This is not well expressed, you did it much better!

But I share your feeling!

[Axelle]

Also, if anything else, you sitting and reading and posting back... when you feel blank... makes you somehow "belong" (I don't really like this word!)

and you are present for us!

[xoomer]

Me! Me! Me!

[JTBadBug]

Thanks Axelle and Xoomer, I needed to be seen and you saw me, even if only in words on a computer screen.

Perhaps you hit the nail on the head, I used to belong here, this was my second home, but now while it remains my second home I don't always feel part of it. I can't think of a good reason why not though.

[Axelle]

This will not sort you out, but just know that I swing several times a day between "I belong, I can/want to talk to all of you", and " well, I too screwed up, or I won't find any answer anyway, or they don't know me...."

At the end of the day, ...well you feel lonely!

As I said on another thread, I would give you a cuddle if I could... caus it's what I want, and no way through Internet!!!!!!

Sometimes you don't want to talk, you have nothing to say... but you still exist

But if you are on your own... you may not feel it!

Sorry it's a bit of ramble

[JTBadBug]

What you say makes perfect sense. Perhaps if I am honest, it is not just here that I feel I don't belong it is everywhere, so, why should I feel any different here.

When you said "I would give you a cuddle if I could... caus it's what I want" this is so true. By knowing how we want to be treated we can offer people so much.

I really appreciate your thoughts and your time this evening.

[Axelle]

i only so much understand your thoughts! And I am greatfull you posted them!

It really makes my evening a tiny bit better , and at least you pull words out of my mouth!

Keep on posting if you feel like it! I 'll be on for a while!

You are the one to be thank for saying all of that!

You DO offer people a lot!

Take care :bigarmhug[1]:

[zach112331]

my alienation from this site is infrequent but does happen. I am not sure why....I guess it is normal because I usually feel I don't fit in anyway, feel a tremendous emptiness. blah, blah, blah.

Hopefully, if you keep reading our posts you might find some comfort..you don't have to post.

take care

[Vicky]

Ok I don't know about you, but for me lonliness, even though I have a good family and boyfriend, is a part of depression for me. Completely irrational lonliness usually, caused just because Andy didn't text me back, or call, or someone didn't make me any dinner or insignificant things like that. Could this be somehting similar? A symptom of depression? Hope it doesn't last for you, I know I want you here, it's nice to see a familiar face - if you know what I mean!

[JTBadBug]

I have never come across the phrase 'pulling words out of someones mouth before'

I have pictures of a cartoon character pulling words out of some poor animals mouth...a bit like a magician pulling handkerchiefs out of a pocket..they just keep coming.

In response to your comment about the 24 hour rule and SI, I do understand why honesty is the way to go. Can I ask you, did you tell your therapist about your SI in the first place. I told my GP once and he was not concerned, I only told him because my mother had found out and pressured me (I'm 36 and still gets pressured from home but I could not lie and tell her that I had told him when I hadn't ), I was embarrassed telling him and although I see a CPN I have never disclosed it with him - I don't harm enough to require medical treatment - just enough to keep my mood stable.

[JTBadBug]

Ok I don't know about you, but for me lonliness, even though I have a good family and boyfriend, is a part of depression for me. Completely irrational lonliness usually, caused just because Andy didn't text me back, or call, or someone didn't make me any dinner or insignificant things like that. Could this be somehting similar? A symptom of depression? Hope it doesn't last for you, I know I want you here, it's nice to see a familiar face - if you know what I mean!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What you say sounds very familiar - I do have a family that I see everyday and a good friend or two, but, that does not prevent the loneliness. As for the irrational stuff - yes that too is SO SO familiar, people don't understand what hurts so quickly and so deeply. I guess it is a symptom of the depression or cause of it. People here do understand - thankyou :)

[Axelle]

:wub: forget the sentence, I am French and play ith literal translation!

I did not have to say my T I was SH, because I SH while in hospital!

She knows it, point!

The funny thing is that I have never "properly " SH before getting in hospital (cutting myself is quite new, I have abused alcohol, and all sort of drugs).

She knows, and I am not willing to hide it, no matter how ashamed I am!

[Axelle]

but you ahve to consider the fact that I have no family around! And therefore I have little to show off

(don't know if that makes sense)

[Vicky]

JT - Yep, Andy tells me not to let things get to me, but that's easier said than done, when all he has to do is shrug me off if I try to hug him, and I feel lonely and rejected. And I know, sitting here typing this, that it's completely ridiculous! But that doesn't help at the time. But it's good that people here can understand that feeling.

Axelle - Wow your english is good! And I guess there's not much point hiding it, although I'm a bit like JT and try not to talk to my cpn about it, mostly because I don't feel too comfortable with her, and if it's mentioned she fixates on it. I don't need her to fix the SI, I need help to fix the depression so I don't need to cut.

[JenNotJenny]

I just wanted to say, that reading all of that has made me cry. The relief of hearing someone else say my thoughts is overwhelming.

Luv Jen x

[empathic connection]

I just wondered how many people come here and still feel lonely? I suspect most people feel lonely here at sometime. I am struggling to join in at the moment and I don't know why.  I generally sit and read what I can, post when I feel I have something to say, but, I don't have much conversation....I suppose I am wittering at the moment, probably just because I want to tell someone, anyone, that I feel lost here....and here has been my safe haven for most of this year.  Even when I was not posting I was here daily, reading.  Perhaps I should have saved this for my journal or posted it in the attention seekers forum instead.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am in the same boat ! I come here everyday and read, but sometimes I just dont have anything to say or share ! It is hard for me to open up sometimes and then other days it just comes spilling out !

~EC~

[Mjarabrab]

And I thought I was the only one?? I have never felt like I have ever fit

in anywhere, and when I am with people, it just makes me feel more lonely.

The holidays make me even more lonely, since it's so focused on family, gifts,

happiness, and all the hoopla, I want to just take the whole month of December

right off my calender, so yup, I thought I was the only one that's lonely.

And to boot, I'm losing the man I'm in love with right before my birthday in a couple weeks, so my lonely mode is rather high at the moment.

Thanks for your post, just wanted you to know you are not alone, I thought i was

Barbarea

[Mjarabrab]

woops, just realized maybe you meant lonely here on this site, now I'm not sure. I was just talking about life in general, here, I see lots of conecting

feelings and sharing, so since I'm new, I haven't been here long enough to

see how I'll feel, but I see genuine caring here already.

Hope you feel better,

Barbarea

[JTBadBug]

Hi Barbarea,

I did initially mean on this site, but, I think really if one is lonely here then it is fair to say they will be lonely anywhere.

It is good to share difficult thoughts sometimes....to talk about the things many of us feel but don't like to or can't discuss in case we sound foolish or something.

Anyway, take care, Jane

[toonkate]

hi jane, ive only just gotten round to reading this post, and havnt read all the replies

just want to let u know u r not alone in feeling like this!

im the same, especially this last week or so

[Flying fish]

Lonliness, it's a weird one. I know I do feel lonly in "real world" and on here it can feel a bit easier. Especially when so many of the messages in this thread seem like i could have written them, because they are how I feel, if I was eloquent enough.

Sometimes I can't find the words to put how I feel, so just read. It's a kind of connection, I suppose. Not sure this makes sense, but then that proves my point, kind of.

[Si-Leeds]

I think most of us feel lonely, I feel it even when I am around people, I just take it as part of the illness .... You can still be lonely on here because to me its still a forum with people that I dont know but it can certainly help take your mind off things and that might make you feel less lonely :)

[Debbie]

You could be surrounded by everyone in the world that cares and loves you and still feel all alone. That's the hardest part of all, and trying to explain how you feel to those that care, is even harder because there's nothing they can do to change the way you feel.

Wouldnt it be simpler if we didnt have feelings :(

[TheChangeling]

yes, frequently, not just here can be anywhere