Women Blamed For Rape

[reactive*emotions]

Survey findings 'truly shocking' Women Blamed For Rape

Updated: 10:29, Monday November 21, 2005

More than a third of people believe flirtatious women are partly responsible for being raped, a survey has found.

The poll of 1,000 men and women also found more than 25% believe victims are partly to blame if they have worn revealing clothing or been drunk.

Amnesty International UK, which commissioned the survey, said the findings were "truly shocking" and showed the Government's policies on tackling rape were failing.

A spokesman said the findings should act as a "wake-up call".

"The poll also reveals the scale of public ignorance of the unacceptably high number of women raped every year in the UK," she said.

Jenny Watson, acting chairwoman of the Equal Opportunities Commission, said: "There still seems to be an assumption that women are sexually available, so if a woman has gone out to have a good time, then she must want to have sex."

Sheila Coates, the director of South Essex Rape and Incest Crisis Centre, said victims - who often blame themselves - are reflecting the blame they can face from society.

She said: "Most women who contact us will say, 'This was my own fault'.

"That's the mirror of what goes on in a court case. While we have juries who are uninformed, we're going to have rapists set free to do it again and again."

The Home Office said it has changed the law to try to improve conviction rates.

"We have made a number of changes to the legal system and to how the police and Crown Prosecution Service work, to put victims' needs first and to make it easier for cases to get to trial and secure convictions," a spokesman said.

[alice92cambridge]

ggrrrrrr....

this makes me so angry..

[Debbie]

doesn't surprise me in the least, it shouldnt be that way but thats how people still think.

[Si-Leeds]

I dont think that anybody "deserves" to be raped be it female or male and its a bit of a generalisation to say that women go out dressed for it .. can you imagine the chat... "hey X are you gonna put that short skirt on, you know the one that guys think that they want to rape you in" where do they find this bollocks information!

[Lauren]

Ironic (very) but thats just what my Mother used to say to me.

[TheChangeling]

doesn't surprise me in the least, it shouldnt be that way but thats how people still think.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No nor me either........isn't it obvious that NOONE deserves that???

[alice92cambridge]

you would've thought so

it amazes me that there are people out there that think that somehow you deserve to be raped coz you were wearing a low-cut top or a short skirt

or you flirted a bit

[Lauren]

I have been told that I obviously want it for the above reasons.I have also been (kind of) raped for the above.

Though most of it was my fault for placing myself in the situation i was in.Thinking I could play with the 'big boys' at 15/16.

[Si-Leeds]

I guess that this means that we have no flirting ever again then!

[FleeingFox]

Rape is rape, you can cover shit with chocolate, but underneath, it's still shit.

Rapists should have their balls hacked off, the sentences for rape should be enforced with EXTREME prejudice, I'd shoot the wankers.........

[zach112331]

It is all about violence and control. After all, would you say a guy who went out at night and got raped because of the way he was dressed. No, no one's dress a person to be raped

.

[alphaOmega]

:trigger: Exactly, I'm with you all, this makes me so angry. None of us deserve that, no matter if we pole dance butt ass nekkid in our front yards. I got drunk, was only 16 and some school acquaintance offered to take me home. It wasn't a fair fight.

Society's disrespect and hatred toward women's sexuality and autonomy-- we have minds of our own and no means no. This also disrespects men by saying that they can't control themselves. Like, what kinda man are these guys that an outfit will turn them into idiots?? The kind that doesn't deserve to breed...

Rock on, FleeingFox, cut their balls off. :sm.jpg:

[lostsoul]

yeah i too heard about this on the news the other day and found myself gauping at the telly. i can only hope that they accidentally asked a load of rapists and that this accounts for the statistics. or else, the questions were phrased and deliberately contrived to give certain results so that some research company could sell a shocking spread

fuckers. why am i even asking these questions? why come up with a conspiracy theory to explain this bullshit?

there are a lot of cunts out there and yeah they all deserve to have their bollocks cut off (tits if they're women)

it's thoroughly soul destroying

[suchcrazyness]

Rapists should have their balls hacked off, the sentences for rape should be enforced with EXTREME prejudice, I'd shoot the wankers.........

I love ya Fox

[pandaprincess]

FOX: you're absolutely right! Off with their balls!

I think anybody who commits sexual offenses should be dealt with severely. Perverts, paedo's and rapists PERMENANTLY ruin the quality of their victims lives - its only fitting that they should have to PAY. I dont think its right for the victims to be made to feel any worse than they already do: NOBODY asked to be raped/mollested/abused, and its wrong to make them feel guilty about something they had no choice/control over.

I personally think that they should have their crime branded on their foreheads: P for Paedo - R for Rapist etc. Then there would be no doubt and no mistaking them for a decent human being and falling into their trap. Some would say that this goes against the human rights act - I think these people give up their own human rights, by behaving the way they do and not respecting that other people have rights too. The perpetrators of the crime get better help and support than many of their victims...

GGGRRRRRR :angry:

[liberty]

what!

as said rape is a control thing, not a sexual. so how can they say women ask for it. we are generally the weaker sex anyway (physically) so why they need to prove their power is beyond me.

as for clothing, they can go get fucked!

sorry, ranting a little

[realscape]

I hear what everyone is saying and I totally agree no person should ever sexually use another person without consent. But I once got raped by two guys when I was so pissed I could hardly walk and the next day I couldn't even remember it very well because I'd been in a blackout. It wasn't date rape, I was actually taken off the street. It doesn't really play on my mind because I can't remember most of it. I really do feel like it was my fault for being in such a state, on my own, with no money, before mobile phones, in the small hours, lost, and not wearing much clothes.

I know that no-one should have taken advantage of me in that state but on the other hand, the reality of life is that men rape women and I knew that. If I had any sense of self care it wouldn't have happened. I never told anyone and I don't think about it, except just now reading this topic, and I had sadness for myself that I was so careless of my physical body in the past. I think thats maybe what the news report meant.

[FleeingFox]

I hear what everyone is saying and I totally agree no person should ever sexually use another person without consent.  But I once got raped by two guys when I was so pissed I could hardly walk and the next day I couldn't even remember it very well because I'd been in a blackout.  It wasn't date rape, I was actually taken off the street.  It doesn't really play on my mind because I can't remember most of it.  I really do feel like it was my fault for being in such a state, on my own, with no money, before mobile phones, in the small hours, lost, and not wearing much clothes. 

I know that no-one should have taken advantage of me in that state but on the other hand, the reality of life is that men rape women and I knew that.  If I had any sense of self care it wouldn't have happened.  I never told anyone and I don't think about it, except just now reading this topic, and I had sadness for myself that I was so careless of my physical body in the past.  I think thats maybe what the news report meant.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE do not have this view of the world, what was done to you was a vile and sick act, those men should have faced the cat & 9Tails for what they did to you, NEVER EVER see it as something you were responsible for.

As for 'men rape women', no my friend, sick and twisted fucks rape women, they are not men, they are freak maggots dressed in human skin, they are NOT men, a real man would NEVER take advantage of ANYONE, that is not the true way of the warrior spirit. These codes of life have become watered down through the ages, this makes me sad inside. Having said this, ALL Women should be wary of ALL men, and equally, ALL Men should be wary of ALL Women.

The world is a place filled with frightened people, this does NOT make sick behaviour acceptable, not ever.

Please please please do not feel you were at fault, take it from someone who's been in your place, in different circumstances, but you were not at fault, it hurts me to think you feel that way, please don't let those monsters make you feel the way you feel inside, they are the dirty ones....

[realscape]

Thanks FF for caring so deeply and for your response to my post.

When I allocate blame for this problem it goes like this. 1) Me - for allowing that to happen to myself. 2) Them - for being misguided idiots. 3) My parents for bringing a child into the world and filling it with such low self esteem that she ended up in these situations. Its very complex!

Wierd enuff I sort of don't have too many feelings. Maybe I'm a psychopath?

[FleeingFox]

Thanks FF for caring so deeply and for your response to my post.

When I allocate blame for this problem it goes like this.  1) Me - for allowing that to happen to myself.  2) Them - for being misguided idiots.  3) My parents for bringing a child into the world and filling it with such low self esteem that she ended up in these situations.  Its very complex!

Wierd enuff I sort of don't have too many feelings.  Maybe I'm a psychopath?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The numbness you feel is not uncommon, many of us here relate so very deeply to how you feel about yourself, give us time, maybe some of us here can help you to see there is more to you than you believe.

Psychopath's aint the same as those maggots, I'm classed as a psychopath, but I would never done unto others as those maggots did unto you, try not to confuse yourself with them, it's easier said than done, I know, truly I know.

Just be aware of what's in the world, this is your best protection, being aware of the sickness around you, not illness, but filth...

Take care, Fleeing Fox.........

[alphaOmega]

:trigger: Realscape, I am so sorry that happened to you {{{{{}}}} but nothing you could have done would make you deserve that. Nothing. Know how I know? BTDT. The predators are first and foremost responsible for their behavior- no matter how complex any situation is- the person with the behavior IS repsonsible for it. Theoretically, you should be able to strip naked and drink GHB in the middle of town square without being attacked. Realistically, there are sickos out there, but you're still NOT responsible for anyone's behavior, good, bad, or indifferent.

With compassion and respect, Linda

[pandaprincess]

realscape: thats TERRIBLE, and you have to stop blaming yourself NOW!

Since when was being inebriated an invitation to get fcuked over??? You really must stop trying to accept responsibility for what happened. I'm mortified on your behalf - its unspeakable what happened, and there is absolutely NO excuse for what those arseholes did to you...

Please dont try to lessen the true nature of the assault by saying you were too pissed to remember - even if you remembered nothing at all, that doesn't justify how anybody could violate you in such a way. I got GHB'd and (fortunately) I dont remember a lot, but I still felt terrible about what happened. For a while I thought it must have been my fault - I wasn't watching what I was drinking - I wasn't paying attention to who I was speaking to - and I concluded that it was bound to happen...

But, I didn't ALLOW it to happen: apparently I fought - and I'm sure you must have fought. You didn't WANT it to happen, so you wouldn't have ALLOWED it to happen. These people are opportunists: they prey on the weak/vulnerable. NOTHING you did or said invited them, they just took it upon themselves...

It takes a long time to come to terms with something like this, but I believe the first step is to realise where the blame truely lies, and it isn't on your shoulders. Dont carry guilt - its a weight you needn't bear.

(((PANDAHUGSforYOU)))

[Swan]

Realscape, after thinking hard about this one I agree with what others have said.

I've (thank God) never been raped by a stranger or a friend, and rape within marriage is kind of another subject, or at least my experience of it is. It is interesting to note though that rape within marriage has only been made a criminal offense within the last two years.

But I've been sexually assaulted on several occasions when drunk and on the most serious occasion didn't report it because it was a senior colleague and I was in a very vulnerable state already. I wish that I had though because when I recovered properly (which wasn't until fairly recently) I realised that he had deliberately and maliciously manoevred me into place and that he did so knowing that my marriage was collapsing and I was therefore weak.

I too would like to know the questions that were asked to produce those statistics, but if it helps to change the shockingly low conviction rate for rape then this controversy is a good thing - I read recently that over 50% of women have experienced sexual assault or domestic violence, and I think that figure is probably low compared with the reality.

What I do know is that there have been times when I have taken risks with my safety and trusted people who weren't safe.

Does that make it my fault that I got into trouble?

I think that perhaps one way of looking at this is to ask a slightly different question - would I go rock climbing with someone whom I didn't know without being very alert to whether they were safe or not - If I did and an accident happened then there is the distinct possibility that I might be partly to blame for not having made sure that my climbing partner knew what s/he was doing. Not entirely to blame, because he would still have been the unsafe one, but if I'd taken a risk without precautions, I might bear some responsibility. I've used this example because rock climbing is an inherently risky activity where accidents happen and you are highly reliant on your partner - your life is literally in their hands so any sensible climber makes sure that they know that their partner will do everything possible to keep them safe.

Ideally, yes, we should be able to dance naked in the town square after 15 shots, but at the same time, I do believe that in the real world threats do exist - you don't know who is waiting for you to lose your head.

I think that it is unequivocally wrong that any person should be attacked because they are weak or when they are unable to defend themselves, and a society that tolerates that or believes that it is acceptable is damaged. But on a purely pragmatic level there is a point at which we are responsible for our own safety, and to willingly and recklessly give that up is unwise.

I can imagine a ton of disapproval raining down upon me for putting this point of view, and I don't imagine it to be a popular one, but this is a very important issue and it needs very serious discussion, not least because so many victims DO blame themselves and for that to change I believe that we need to really examine the reasons why. I think that can only be done by examining the unpalatable arguments as well as the obvious ones.

One last point, in relation to 'public opinion' generally - it isn't widely known any longer that if you had a referendum on the issue of the death penalty it would almost certainly be brought back. Parliament legislated against it despite public opinion. Responsibility for rape seems to be a similar type of issue. When people don't have to be identified with their opinions it often seems that the Great British Public can be extremely cruel.

[nimz]

:trigger:

I was raped by an ex he was violent during our relationship and 9 months after we broke up, we started talking again. He was upset and wanted to see me. I willingly got into his car and smoked his weed. When he came onto me i said no but he wouldnt leave it, and raped me, i just stayed in a stunned silence. So because i was stoned and got in his car and had been in love with him that doesnt stop it being rape (although some people loudly voice there opinions that it cant of been which is hard!) So how should alcohol stop it, i think its disgusting women are not fucking objects and rape is a life sentence for the victim, ruins relationships after and fucks them up. So rapists should be suitibly punished. I didnt report mine in fear of him getting a non guilty verdict and cos i didnt want a police officer asking all those questions. Rapists are fucked up and deserve to die for ruining good peoples lives. Sorry just had to get that out.

[Swan]

(((((((((((nimz)))))))))))))

As I implied in my post it is rape even if you are married to the guy and sleeping every night in the same bed as him and he forces you violently in a way which is not consensual. You were raped and that is what it was because you didn't consent.

But. At the risk of scratching an already tender spot - having had that experience, would you again get into a car with him and smoke his weed? This subject needs careful thought if things are really going to change, as well as the very necessary and understandable rant.

TBH, if I could have a good rant perhaps I might one day be able to share a room with another person without spending the whole night awake or on sleepers.