Tory Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 I just met my new psychotherapist for the first time. I have had psychotherapy before but not for 18 months or so. She just sat and looked at me then asked me questions every now and then then just sat and looked at me again. This really freaks me and makes me really uncomfortable. Anyway all she did say made me feel awful. She kept asking what i wanted her to do and i explained what i needed help with and she just asked again what i wanted her to do. If i knew how to make stuff better i would do it myself and not ask her for help. Its so annoying that therapists can make u feel worse after u see them then before. least when i see other therapy people they help. I had had a good morning and after seeing psychotherapist i feel really tired and sad. Least i tried maybe it will get better. Take care all tory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 My therapist has convinced me that therapy is not good for me. It just fucking rockets me emotionally, and I feel so out of control for a week or so. I am hoping to get some meds Friday that will help me be able to make better decisions whether I'm in therapy or not. Hope you are feeling better Tory. Maybe she was just getting to know you and as you get to know eachother better, things will get better. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martina Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 Hey guys, Finding a therapist is like trying on clothes. You might have to try on therapists many times before you find a perfect fit. If your therapist doesn't fit you, find another. A perfect example: When my dad was going in and out of the mental hospital when I was a kid, he tried therapists for ten years before he found one that was right for him. She was the first that knew he was BSing her, and alot of other things that I don't know about, being so young... My point is that you have to be comfortable with your therapist.... So don't give up onm therapy.... just find someone new. A few years ago I tried therapy and quit, because the therapist only wanted me to read books.... I swore off therapy for good!! Recently I tried again, and the Therapist that I have now is SO wonderful!!! I lucked out with her. B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 Tory, I was rereading your post this morning and wondered whether you had met with her again, or whether you were feeling any different about your session. Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twilight Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 Hey Tory, I know how u feel, the awkward silences are so horrible, always feel like I should be thinking some amazing stuff but I'm usually thinking how long left til I can get out of this shitty session. And Verbena....I completely agree, it seems to mess me up for a few days, just in time for the next session. I wonder what the point of going is. Mine is group therapy though and i just think it is sooooo not for me! Got to wait a year and a half to see someone one-to-one, wonder if its worth the wait! Let us know how you're next session goes, hope shes a bit more helpful! Hate it when they keep asking what we want...like u say, if we knew all the answers we wouldn't be there!! Twi :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted September 21, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 I have decided not to go to anymore psychotherapy atm. I am going to concentrate on my other therapy stuff and the psychotherapy really knocked me back and i not strong enough to deal with it atm so i not going back for now! I am still going to my other therapy stuff tho just psychotherapy isnt for me atm and not with person I saw last week. Thanks for asking guys! Tory :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragdoll Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 hey tory, i believe that the idea of therapy is to eventually show you that you can do it on your own eventually so maybe she, as in the therapist was trying to prove to you that you did have the resources deep within to deal with what are the deep seeded issues on your own but with direction from a threrapist. but i do understand how pissy you feel from her continually asking what you wanted her to do. that shits me aswell, but you want to know something.......they all do the same thing. every shrink ive been to ask me the same thing. i always say the same thing. i dont know. then i say exactly what you thought but i dont think you said to her. "if i knew do you think id be here?" but like i said earlier most of the time even if we did know we'd almost all of the time need some sort of assistance to reach our goal because honestly would you know how to get better on your own? i wouldnt. i know id need help even if i knew what i wanted. there is no way i could do it on my own. im glad i have my shrink, and im glad i have my eating disorders counsellor. they are both keeping me on level ground. and you know who else im glad i have. im glad i have me. because if i succeeded in suicide any of those hundreds of times i overdosed or sat on the train tracks, i wouldnt be here trying to help you or the others that i try to help. and i wouldnt doing my job, keeping the frail, ill and disabled in their homes and out of hospital and me getting the commendations for what i do from them making me feel better about myself. and i wouldnt have met brad or any of you for that point. this is what therapy has helped me achieve a better way of thinking and a better way of life. yes i have done a hell of a lot of work to achieve this point aswell but you can do it too. i hope that you dont see this as preaching because i hate church and ppl who preach to me, all im doing is trying to show you where i am and what therapy has helped me to acheive. but i have been in and out of therapy since i was 11 and im now 29. so it does take a lot of time and a lot of dedicated work and i still have a long way to go with a lot of issues to deal with. i wish you all the luck in the world as i do everyone else. it is worth it and there is light at the end of the tunnell with many of wonderful journeys along the way worth seeing. please take the trip. love rag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted September 22, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 (((((((rag)))))))) Thanks Rag, thats great, really made me think! Take care Tory :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadwhisper Posted October 12, 2004 Report Share Posted October 12, 2004 Hi Tory I can totally understand why you feel as if you can't go back at the moment but I would urge you not to give up on therapy completely. I saw a duty psychiatrist once 2 days after I had od'ed. I'd done it on the friday and my CPN guessed when I saw her on the monday. She was really worried about me so arranged for me to see this guy that day. He asked me what I thought was wrong with me and what I wanted him to do about it. When I told him I didn't know he stood up and said that if I didn't know then there was nothing he could do for me so I walked out and almost in front of the nearest car - unluckily it turned out to be my CPN who then had a stand up row with the psych! He he he! My current psych is exactly the same but as for my therapist - i must have done something right to get her. She has never once asked me that. All she does is to point me in the right direction so I can see what the problem is and then between the 2 of us we will work out a solution together. She recognises I need her help and is more thanwiling to give it whilst still letting me stand on my own 2 feet. Dos that make sense? There are some really shitty and useless psychs and therapists out there. Some who just tell you what they think and what to do and some who expect you to do and know everything. It takes time and effort to find someone who strikes a balance between the 2 approaches but one day you'll get there. However do it when you are strong enough. I went into therpay too early on and for a long time she - unintentionally - was sending me spiralling into crisis whenever I saw her and as others said, it was taking me a week to get over it by which time i had to see her again. Now we have an arrangement so if I'm in crisis I can ask her to talk about something else or we take a break for a few weeks. It seems to be working Hang in there hun Deadwhisper xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted October 12, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2004 Thanks deadwhisper. I havent given up on therapy just psychotherapy atm. Take care tory xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angela Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 Hi Tory, I really want to help but not sure how to. I think that trying something incredibly difficult (e.g. any therapy) and realizing it will do more harm and make you unsafe at the moment is a brave decision. It sounds like you have got enough going on with the other therapy. It takes so much energy and head space to do any kind of therapy and it is incredibly exhausting, so no wonder you are finding it hard to do psychotherapy AS WELL AS other therapy. I have been doing psychotherapy for just over a year now and a few months ago, my husband and i were experiencing a lot of problems. My psych advised us to get relationship counselling but I couldn't even think about it as there was no way I could cope with two different forms of therapy. So I think I understand where you are coming from. Do you mind me asking what the other type of therapy is? (don't answer if I have overstepped the mark). Angela x x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted October 14, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 Its no problem what u asked. I see a cpn and a psychaitrist atm. I see cpn every month or so but she didnt turn up to last appointment and i see psychaitrist every few months but can see him more if i want. My GP is also great and i see him every two weeks for him to check up on me and me to get my meds. Take care tory xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 Hi Tory, I just wanted to say that all therapists are different, not all are like the one you saw. There are lots of different approaches, but attunement to YOU is what is important. I've been seeing my therapist for 2 and a half years now. She and I 'fit'. But before that I saw another who said "everyone self harms in some way" when I told her how I hit myself when I was very distressed. I saw intellectually what she was getting at, but it was so not on... Anyway, I wish you all the best in whatever works for you on your recovery journey. lorna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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