A Different Life.

[xoomer]

Born from silence, silence full of it

A perfect concert my best friend

So much to live for, so much to die for

If only my heart had a home

Sing what you can`t say

Forget what you can`t play

Hasten to drown into beautiful eyes

Walk within my poetry, this dying music

- My loveletter to nobody

Never sigh for better world

It`s already composed, played and told

Every thought the music I write

Everything a wish for the night

Wrote for the eclipse, wrote for the virgin

Died for the beauty the one in the garden

Created a kingdom, reached for the wisdom

Failed in becoming a god

Never sigh...

"If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it

Remember only the verse, songmaker`s cry, the one without tears

For I`ve given this its strength and it has become my only strength.

Comforting home, mother`s lap, chance for immortality

Where being wanted became a thrill I never knew

The sweet piano writing down my life"

"Teach me passion for I fear it`s gone

Show me love, hold the lorn

So much more I wanted to give to the ones who love me

I`m sorry

Time will tell (this bitter farewell)

I live no more to shame nor me nor you

And you... I wish I didn`t feel for you anymore..."

A lonely soul... An ocean soul...

I feel so Torn. I have never felt so good. but torn...

I just got back from my dads. He offered for me to move up to canada with him and he would pay me to get into school. (voiceover School) Or I could Join The army. and Carry a weapon for my country and possible die.

I don't know anymore. All I know is that If I give up What Am I to do? I have exhausted all of my attempts to get on medical. I don't have a job and I don't know what to do anymore... Should I just continue to drink?

should I go out and Get High?

I'm not the little boy that I used to be and I just wish that I had known about what the future had held for me. I'm begining to think that The world teaches there young what An Easy life it is... Then when they get out to the Real World they don't know What is going to really happen.. I'm 22 years old and I have lived on my own only 3 time totaling about a year both times. and for about 3 months the first time. I can handle it and I have a fear of failure.

I'm affraid of going out and being around people. I don't like this anymore... I've downed a bottle of vodka so far, Dare me to drive? I'm on downers now....

In fact thats What I have to do is Drive...

But I'm not that little boy and thats what My dad treats me like. I realized that The man that I have always looked up to and braged about is nothing more than a loser that has nothing better to do than Crawl under his rock and Die..

I've lost a lot of respect for my father this weekend. I don't know if its just me or if its bob.

The Fucking Closest thing to Having a dad is The Cartoon Character Genma Saotome from Ranma 1/2 (my dad is the voice of that Character.)

Well anyhow Peace out y'all. I'm taking a general break and Feel as this may be my last post for a little while... I'm not saying good bye I'm just saying See you all later.

Am I getting better? Do you think?

Sincerly

Zachary D. Monroe

Xoomer/Hollywood

[xoomer]

ok... so I lied... I'm online and enjoying it.

[Barebones]

nothing wrong being online :)

[Bluegrass]

Interesting poetry - glad you're enjoying being on-line

You sound a bit sad re the dad/career/moving issue - or maybe I got it wrong - If you need to talk it through feel free - here and listening

[Betsy]

glad you decided to stay on line. whats the use of getting off?

[xoomer]

Not Much...

I'm gonna be moving soon Don't worry I'll still be here but I'm gonna be a Warrant Officer in The Army, There gonna teach me to fly a plane.

Whoo HOo,.