Who Me?

[Betsy]

how can one person feel so different and contain so many opposites. i feel like i have both ends of every spectrum with nothing in the middle. sometimes i go along reacting to one side and then switch to the other for no apparent reason.

for instance i have a mathmatical mind and a creative mind.. only one can function at a time

i am very happy and then blow up over some insignificant thing... no middle emotional feelings (except those times when i feel like i am dead and dont feel anything)

i am patient until i just walk away because i loose all patience.

i am loving until i hate you

i am involved with work or i am involved with home.. i cant do both at a time, one is always hell to go through

is shove everything in boxes in my mind. i decide not to remember things... as tho our minds can only contain so much information and will then be full.

i quit watching the news because it all seems to be bad and if it is the end of the world (which i think it is) i dont want to watch it happening

does anyone else feel this way?

bets

[Martina]

Hey there!!

I'm like that too!! And might I say-- it is SUCH a relief to finally meet someone else like that!!! Hooray!!

I, too, amd like both ends of the spectrum... Never any in-betweens. It can get annoying... it feels like I have two of me....

Have you ever read the poem "The Flesh and the Spirit" by Anne Bradstreet?? Its a wonderful poem, and it describes this exact situation...

Anyway, no, you are not alone.

[rainbowlady]

Dear Betsy, I am the same way. I quickly get angry and annoyed with people when I feel they are treating me badly, get into silly squabbles and then break down in tears. Little things can upset me for days or weeks. I have been going through a depressed phase in the last week all because my GP discounted me when I asked him a question and treated me as if I hadnt said anything - which he often does. I have a Depixol injection which he gives me every six weeks. He always asks me how I am while he is getting the phial ready and dosnt listen to my answer. GPs in England are under a lot of pressure these days I know because the government has changed the way they work and there arent enough GPs now because of this I suppose. Its becoming more and more bureaucratic and a person only get seven and a half minutes consultation time because they are so busy. There are notices saying do this dont do that all over the walls and this annoys me. Its so authoritarian and more in the interests of the practice than the people it is supposed to serve.

Rainbowlady. :o

[flippy]

No you are not alone, i am like that too there is only black or white, no grey and i can be black one second and white the next. it's very tiring.

flippy

[budgie]

Now we all know Grey can be comforting.......unfortunately, *SIGH*. NOD.

Taking a step further Bets, at least we know there is another side .... ie. White to Black. Imagine not even knowing there is a White...that would be ... Ah...Knowing that there IS a White. ..trying to move towards it...is good enuf my friend.

We all know, its really difficult without the grey...always in the blackish arena...bobbing up n down, ...bob, bob, bob.... Come, hold my hand, i hv some extra strength today.....come. :rolleyes:

[verbena]

Bets,

I liked your post very much - it felt very familiar and was poetic but real.

Interesting to me is this: You know that all the things you described were BPD traits. You know that, and we know that, and yet when it is happening to us, as it was to you, we don't always recognize it, and wonder if anyone in the world can understand how we feel. Isn't that wierde?

Verbena (((((((Bets))))))))

[Betsy]

thanks guys for the reply. yes, eventho i know what bpd is it still amazes me. i assume everyone feels the same way i do... very far from the truth! its good to know a few of you can identify.

i guess what bothers me most is my inability to take in all areas of my life at one time. its hard at home when focused at work and the opposit. i always feel like i am failing one place and playing catch up somewhere else.

bets