Song Posted June 16, 2004 Report Share Posted June 16, 2004 I just got this book yesterday, and I am halfway thu it.Almost everything I have read in it describes my life, so I made my husband read it too, and he agreed. I find it a little dated, (1989), and assume there are new theories and research being done all the time on this subject, but over all it is a pretty helpful book. I have ordered a few more, one about Walking on Eggshells for my hubs to read, and one about a Borderline Mother. Is there any other books I should consider getting? thanx B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buoyantcat Posted June 27, 2004 Report Share Posted June 27, 2004 Yes, I've read some of "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me". I started reading it when I first found out. It was like reading an exact description of my personality. It was almost like they were writing about me at times. Good book. I found it very informational. It helped me to understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dayterror Posted June 27, 2004 Report Share Posted June 27, 2004 I have read both I hate you don't leave me and stop walking on eggshells. They were both pretty cool I'm currently reading New Hope for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, by Neil R. Bockian. So far I'm really liking it. I recommend it! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanieD116 Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 I just finished reading I HATE YOU - DON'T LEAVE ME and I'm now reading WALKING ON EGGSHELLS. I feel like I shouldn't be reading anything b/c my husband feels like it's a confirmation that I have labled him BPD. I only bought them b/c the therapist said there was a possibility - I just wanted to read for myself and be educated. Getting educated is the absolute ONLY thing that I CAN do to help our marriage. Yet, seems I've caused even more problems b/c of it. I'd love it if he were not suffering from this - it just seems like such a difficult way to live.... but from what I've read - it's pretty accurate to what I have lived with for the past year. I wish there was something I could do - he still wants to end the marriage - comes home from work raring to go rounds with me - for what? Because i have a pulse i guess? *sigh* I'm still here - doesn't that count for anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 AWWW ((((Lanie))))))) It is the most awful, painful period I know. Darkness. He is just pushing you to the very limits of your being..... I did that to my hubby, till he broke and left and I woke up devastated and suicidal. By then, he was already in a "comatose" state, he has blocked his brain from me becuase I have become just handle. I couldnt communicate with him for 3 months. He never accepted my diag for BPD either. He brushes them all aside, saying it was my personality.It became the reverse order. I became lucid, he hurt me like hell, pushes me away, even went overseas to get away from me! It is really really hard I know, this period LanieD. Drives one crazy. I am so sorry you and your hubby have to walk this path. We can only be here to listen, to share, to support, to help, when we can. (HUG) Budgie :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted June 30, 2004 Report Share Posted June 30, 2004 I have not read either books mentioned, but would like to. Who are the authors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buoyantcat Posted June 30, 2004 Report Share Posted June 30, 2004 I Hate You, Don't Leave Me is written by Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D., & Hal Straus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanieD116 Posted June 30, 2004 Report Share Posted June 30, 2004 I've gotten so much more out of STOP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS. Maybe it's written for the non-BP - I don't know - the facts are so frightenly close to my life with my husband that I related better to it. The other book is a wonderful matter of fact book - this one i'm reading just 'speaks' to me. It would be a wonderful book for anyone needing thier friends and family to have a better understanding of your struggles. Blessings, Lanie <>< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 Aw LanieD, Reading all your posts tears at my heart because I KNOW I DO! I went through, such similarities, not completely but close. I'm the one with BPD, he was like you. Difference is, he clamed up, couldnt handle me and asked for a divorce..didnt come through eventually but it was right on my doorstep LanieD. (((LanieD)))) The darkness, the fear, the self doubt, hate, pain, everything! I remember it well. If only I can be an angel and lessen your pain....I can only pray. Jesus knows. It is so very very hard I know. I only made it with His grace. And His grace has rebonded us again just yesterday after we saw the counsellor (so many many times!) ... and after 5 years mind you!!!! And we are still working on it. It never is easy. But with Him, we will see it through. Know that we are all here. Come here, cry, share, rant. We feel so much for you LanieD. I do. And if I could, I would, help carry your load I promise. This poem I write for you LanidD. As the Day Darkens Your heart I know, grows heavy As each day seems to darken And hope seems to fade And you do not know where you are heading Pain and hurts are all you feel Tears flow till no more You try to understand Be assured, you are at your best Oh LanieD You are not alone We so feel, so share for you If only we could, we would LanieD Your burden to lift, your pain to bear, your tears to wipe But you do know LanieD Jesus is with you now even as I write As he hads been with me, all those days and even now Lay down, rest your heart, mind, soul Let Him take control, He has your best interests Rest your heart my my friend, for a while at least Let a smile be upon you, that all will be well in the end my dear friend LanieD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanieD116 Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 How absolutely beautiful of you Budgie.... *tears* I'm so sad... I want to hold my husband and feel his big strong arms around me - feel safe again in them and like no one in the world can harm me. I'm now spoken to in the way he speaks to his 2 ex-wives - I know the tone and the words too well. "You can catch more bees with honey"..... I am one of them now in his mind - the enemy. Worthless and undeserving of his love. But I'm nothing like them - they ran off to be with other men - so I guess he idolizes them with the fantasies of 'what if'... I’m the one dedicated to him - not out of fear or wanting to rescue him - but out of love and commitment - understanding so much about his struggles and wanting so badly for someone to help him and recognize his needs. I know his potential - I know his heart - I see him thru God's eyes as the man I know he is..... but I'm only human - I can only bear so much and I can only understand so much. Please pray for my children. They love him so deeply and will most likely feel so let down and lied to about their fears of rejection and abandonment. We promised them a safe and secure family life. We promised ourselves that we’d provide an emotionally safe home for them. I’ve let them down again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buoyantcat Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 Lanie, I really hope that that doesn't happen to you. You are in my thoughts. I hope things do work out. You are strong. I'm sorry I can't really relate though. This just happened to my family a year and a half ago, and I am still recovering. Only thing is, I would be in the place of your children. Sorry if I can't relate, but you're in my thoughts. Stay strong, and I hope it works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 Lanie *Great big tight HUG* It is not a case of letting anyone letting anyone else down my dear. This is a fallen world. It happens and it is NOT YOUR FAULT ok. Pls. DO remember that. Stay strong, we are all with you. Budgie :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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