Do You Think I Have A Pd?

[Jacinta]

Hi,

I'm Jacinta. I have had a very rough time and don't know whether I am creating my situations or whether it is that I have a lot of lessons to learn.

I'm staunchly independent and very stubborn. I like to interact with people. But my relationships are sh*t at the moment.

I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused from the age of four and have been extremely determined to heal the effects of my traumas.

I have tried to be successful in my life but all areas of my life seem out of whack - especially since I found out I was pregnant to a man I was about to leave 8 1/2 years ago. Since that day, I have felt like "my life is over". I've adjusted to motherhood and I seperated from my husband 19 months ago.

The seperation has intensified the issues that I had to get out of the relationship because of. There are domestic violence and child protection issues, which I am doing my best to handle.

And to make matters worse, I have had two really traumatic relationships since (one for a year another for three months). I have picked my partners so carefully. They have been friends for 5 years and 20 years respectively.

The damage that was done in and after these relationship have set me back even further.

I am so stressed that my teeth are now misaligned from grinding my teeth in my sleep. I can't work. I can't even seem to make my friendships work. I asked for feedback from an acquaintence today. She said "you seem like a nice person but you come across as having a lot of issues" - which I think is accurate.

I want to rebuild my life and I certainly don't want my life to fall apart any further.

I do have a psychiatrist and I am on anti-depressants but we just have a chat every couple of months. I will be asking her what she thinks when I see her next.

I would prefer a label, a diagnosis because then I can work on fixing whatever may be wrong with me.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Jacinta

[Tory]

Hi Jacinta,

Welcome, hope u like it here. Its good that u have a psychaitrist and u will have to talk with her about pd. U could find information from here bout bpd and take it with u to see what she thinks.

Sorry you have had some bad times but its good your wanting to rebuild your life and i am sure people here will try to support u.

Take care and i look forward to getting to know you.

Tory

[verbena]

Jacinta,

I know what you mean about having a diagnosis. Some people would rather avoid that, but for me, having my therapist say that his impression is that I have BPD at least gave me a starting point. It brought me here, and this site has been priceless for me in terms of acceptance and understanding. I'm glad you found it, and I'm sure you will be as well.

Verbena

[Betsy]

hello Jacinta and welcome to the site.

it sounds like you are really having it rough right now. hopefully it will help to post here and chat. People here are really good listeners, supporters, and you will get lots of feedback.

bets

[em]

HI !!! Welcome to the site,

I hope your psychiatrist can give you the answers you need

Tc Emxx

[Jacinta]

Yeah, I'm feeling pretty fragile at the moment.

I am also feeling a lot of shame. Last Saturday, I had had no social contact for over a week and my neighbours invited me over to watch the game. (I was delighted). They insisted I had a beer. I didn't really want to. I hadn't eaten for three days (because I didn't want to get another food parcel) and I don't like drinking if I'm stressed. They kept insisting, so I did so out of politeness (or should I say peer pressure). I had only had 3 light beers in 6 hours. When I got home, there was a message on my machine to go out with an acquaintance of mine. I went to her place but they had already left. I was really missing my son who has been on his first even two week contact visit with his father for school holidays. I drove over to his father's place but realised I was too angry with his father to go in, so I went for a drive to clear my head. I got pulled up for a random breath test and I was over the limit.

I cannot tolerate drink driving. I can understand that I was only just over and there were a couple of factors involved; petite female, no food in stomach, but the shame still eats at me. I have driven a car while over the legal limit to do so.

Now the same acquaintence has asked me to go out with her tonight; latin dancing. I LOVE latin dancing but I'm feeling so shattered at the moment, so vulnerable - I just feel like staying in my cave where I'm safe - even though I'm usually an extravert. I'm trying to work out what is best for me to do; step out of my comfort zone and most likely struggle through the evening (I know me in this mood) or just accept myself where I am at - give myself permission to feel all the hurt, grief, sadness, lonliness, anger, fear that I have inside me. It might be my last opportunity for awhile. It also might be my last opportunity to go dancing for awhile. My son comes home tomorrow and I'm his "rock".

I know it's silly, but I don't have people to talk to about things like this. It's just so nice to share who I am, my thoughts and feelings with someone - thanks for the opportunity. :)

[Betsy]

Jacinta,

Maybe you could start by forgiving yourself for what you did. No one was hurt and you are going to take care that it never happens again. We tend to forgive others much more readily than ourselves.

Forgive yourself and go dancing... then come back and tell us how much fun you had!

bets

[Jacinta]

Thanks Betsy! :lol:

[summer]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jacinta))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

))Hang in there........we are here for you........hugsssssssssssssssss

:wub:

[Betsy]

did you go? we wanna know!

bets

[Jacinta]

Well... I had a really good think about it and thought it wouldn't be good to stay home by myself. I also knew that I was too fragile and my nervous system was too shot to put myself in a loud, active, social situation. So, I went around to my mother's. We had a nice chat and a nice dinner. I was tired so I went to bed (at her house). And Mum came in and chatted to me for three hours about really really interesting stuff! I'm so lucky for how my mother is there for me at the moment. She's been good company, good support, and good "healing". I stayed there all the next day - and got my ex to drop my son off at my mother's place. We stayed their for dinner and my son asked if we could stay overnight. I said yes. We had a nice relaxing morning yet came home early so he could get dressed and go to school.

A very nice weekend.

Jacinta :D

[Betsy]

Wow Jacinta... good for you!

you solved your problem really well. hope you can hang on to that peacefull feeling throughout the week!

bets

[Jacinta]

Dear Tory, Verbena, Em, Summer and especially Betsy,

Thank you so much for your support over the past few days, you all have your daily stuggles and yet still managed to put time aside to be there for me. This site is a realy healing outlet for me.

Betsy, I don't know if I can hold onto the peaceful feeling all week but I will certainly focus on that - because that is what I want to bring into my life, that is the reality I want for myself and my son.

I've got a reasonably challenging week coming up.

Just a lot of background... (sorry if I bore you)

1. 19 months ago, my marriage ended.

2. Six months ago another relationship ended and I signed up with an employment agency and did a "Working Life" Course which was hugely beneficial in getting me to head in the direction I wanted to go.

3. Five months ago, I was going really well in my life. I was making heaps of headway after my previous relationship crisis. I was receiving heaps of support for the first time in my life and coupled with my very determined personality, I was making huge inroads to rebuilding me, my family and my life. I was very comfortable being single. I met up with an old friend again, through the employment agency and we started "hanging out"

I didn't want this friendship to interfere with my growth and development when . . . my interest in this person started to grow, along with a deep feeling that a relationship was a possibility I could be comfortable exploring, given the history of this friendship, the way I knew him, and the trust that had built up over 20 years.

I spoke at length with my support network about my growing "interest" in this person and my growing deep sense that "a relationship with this person was something I may need to explore" - and how I was battling against my conflicting need of focussing entirely on myself, and the joy that my growth and development was giving me. They too believed that a relationship with this person would support "the essence of who I am" and would allow me the freedom to still do what I need to do for myself.

Before I got involved with this friend three months ago, I knew he had a drug history and an addict will have the underlying addiction. We really explored this issue. We recognised his addiction and discussed what sort of things he was doing to remain in control of his addiction. We really explored , what we both wanted out of lives and saw that our hopes, dreams and goals were compatible. Our personalities were also compatible (which is probably obvious with being friends for 20 years).

We explored the possibility of a future together. We recognised the dynamics of an intimate relationship would be very different to the dynamics of a friendship and it would be an exploratory time to see how we both "fitted", even though all evidence pointed to the fact that we were going to have a very manageable long-term relationship. We developed a contingency plan for the possibility of if he ever "busted".

It turned out, we "fitted" really well. It seemed to be the healthiest relationship I had ever been in...

...then my son's dexamphetamines started going missing - $6,500 worth!!!!!! I advised the health department and the police department and took my son's medication to the pharmacy for weekly dispensing. I also got intouch with a drug & alcohol counselling line to deal with my feelings about my son's medication going missing;

a) fear that the kids that had been through my house had got into them;

contacting every parent in the interests of their children's safety;

suspicion against everyone in my inner circle,

c) stress about keeping my eyes open for clues but not wanting anyone to know I was doubting any of them,

d) fear that it might be an intruder;

e) the feeling of powerless over such an important issue - my son after many trials has shown he NEEDS that medication to function cognitively.

When I discussed all my feelings with the Drug and Alcohol counsellor, suddenly the story my partner gave me about his addiction stopped adding up. They told me a "recovering" addict needed to be regarded as guilty until proven innocent. They told me, that if he responded to an opiate such as Methadone in the pain clinic, he would have been given Viceptone - Methadone is ONLY ever given to registered addicts. He would have HAD to abuse his pain medication (or had other substance abuse issues) to be put on Methadone. He could not have been on Methadone for pain control after his serious accident.

He obviously protested vehemently claiming his case had been bungled and would get his medical records and delight in proving me wrong and that I had no reason to distrust him.

To cut a very very long story short, he is now in rehab, after spending a week or two in detox. And I am left with the devastation of the distortions, manipulations sabotages and deceit. Even though it was only a three month relationship, the impact of his addiction on my life and my family's lives have been enormous.

He wrote me a letter from rehab last week saying he was using before we even entered a relationship!

I found this realy good book in the library, "When Someone You Love is Addicted to Alcohol or Drugs" by Jim Maclaine. It has really helped me normalise my overwhelming feelings situation of distortion, manipulation, sabotage and deceit - and helped make sense of the devastation that his addiction has caused to me and my family.

I am considering leaving the employment agency we both met at. He has embroiled them incredibility in his addiction. Being intimately involved with an addict has sent me totally nutty - and that is all the employment agency have seen during my relationship with him. They have deemed me "not job ready", put me on a medical certificate, and cut all ties with me - apart from exiting me from the program. He has told me a series of very serious lies to successfully sabotage my relationship with the job agency (out of revenge for me "not standing by him when he needed me the most").

Meanwhile, he has appeared to be the sane one with a really loopy girlfriend (and I don't deny I'm loopy). The job agency have put their full support behind him, a new mobile phone (after he hocked the last one they gave him for drugs), they set up and paid for counselling for him (when he said he didn't have a drug problem - just an honesty problem). It took his work to give him a urine test to finally discover he was abusing drugs.

Nevertheless, the employment agency have vowed to help him to rebuild his career in - wait for it...

drug and alcohol rehabilitation.

I had to research for myself free drug counselling, to deal with the effects of his addiction - and then the counsellor told she couldn't help me because I didn't fit the criteria - I wasn't involved in a relationship with an addict anymore (only because I had the sense to end the relationship). The devastation caused by this relationship continues to have a very real impact on every area of my life, and many areas of my psyche. And there is a very real possibility of on-going sabotage from him, (for me leaving the relationship).

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest - I've got to go.

Please keep supporting me - I've only got a little red book - and my relationships have all been affected by how this situation has affected me.

Thank you so much.

XXXXXXXXXX Jacinta :wub:

[Betsy]

Jacinta...

life at best is a gamble. sometimes all the planning and hoping that we do is for naught. it sounds like you should be very proud of all that you did to determine if it was a safe relationship. unfortunately people who are unsafe are ofen very adept at deception. it will be hard to put things back together but it isnt worth de-railing you completely. you are beginning to reform yourself and your relationship with your children and that is a good thing. protect yourself from him as much as possible and put all the distance between him and you that you can.

you have a great support system her... everyone at bpdworld is pulling for you! sounds like you also have some real time support and hopefully a good therapist.

keep posting, venting, and thinking things out.

bets

[Jacinta]

Oh! You are so wonderful - anyone else would be overwhelmed by my self-obsessed ravings!!!

I see the employment agency tomorrow and have to try to negotiate them to agree to a transfer across to another employment agency. Even if they don't feel they either them or me have been enmeshed in my ex-boyfriend's addiction, I feel that both (them and me) and I would prefer to not have to deal with issues that are related to someone else. I can still on gaining the lessons I can learn from the situations, without on going issues surrounding the situation impacting any further on my life.

"My intimate relationship with an addict has got me learning and healing even more about addiction. My brother is an addict. I spent my childhood in my room, to be safe. When he did manage to “get meâ€, Mum said that I was lying or that I must have done something really bad to provoke him. I HATED my mother with a passion for that. When I look back as an adult, I can feel the way my brother’s addiction, imprisoned me and how my mother’s response, kept me imprisioned. For most of my childhood, the lock on my bedroom door was my protection against my family; my step father, my brother and my mother. Sometimes the door was broken down and I called the police – but not often. In these times, if I had at least got through to 000 before he pulled the phone out, I knew the police would trace the call and be on there way. When the police got there, Mum made sure she had already got my brother out of the house. And she would say I was just being melodramatic – it was just a case of sibling rivalry. The police would say – “It’s some case of sibling rivalryâ€, as they looked at my injuries and the property damage. Mum would say “We’ve started counseling to deal with these issuesâ€. And the police would leave it at that. Our family counseling involved my mum, my brother and I going to the counseling centre and me being left alone with this counselor (a friend of my mother’s) telling me “Can’t you see what your lies are doing to your family. You are tearing your family apart.

I just sat there and cried – there was nothing I could doâ€.

Finally, mum could see that counseling was traumatising me more than anything and ended up “just giving up on meâ€.

(Never mind that the whole family wasn’t counseled by a independent counselor who saw all the family – as well as my step-father who sexually abused me at every opportunity he got.)

As I said, the lock on my door was my only protection. I was incredibly socially withdrawn and had major trust issues. However I did managed to strike up a couple of friendships during the course of my childhood. I soon learnt that they couldn’t come to my place, otherwise my step-father would abuse them too. The guilt I felt about bringing my only friends into this situation was devastating. They were very gentle children, who managed to see something in me, no matter how cut off I was from the world. I avoided them like the plague after those experiences, due to the intensity of my guilty. Obviously, those experiences meant that I didn’t even feel safe to have friends and ended up totally socially isolated and unable to relate to others. I stayed in my room at home and stayed in the classroom at school – that was the only way I could see to stay safe.

I couldn’t wait to grow up – I believed “then no one would be able to hurt meâ€. When my brother’s friends started growing up, obviously, they started becoming more interested in me. They might have essentially been my brother’s friends but I started having them stay over when I was 12. This of course resulted in even more damage being done to my relationship with my family. To my family, I now was known as “the slutâ€.

I longed to break out of my “prisonâ€. and subconsciously I think I made a compromise – I stayed in my room but had the company of “friends†- “friends†about whose safety I didn’t have to worry about, “friends†who kept my step-father away and “friends†who even moderated my brother’s behaviour.

Eventually, I was able to be safe in the world, as long as I had a guy to protect me. I was still a home-body but I started going out more. Eventually, I moved out - at the ripe old age of 13. My boyfriend worked at the pub – and kept me in alcohol, drugs and cigarettes".

I have never really saw my family of origin situation in terms of the emotional effects of addiction - sure I was very resentful about the specific "drug support" my mother gave my brother like paying thousand of dollars in fines to keep him out of jail and the "court support" and all the energy and resources that went into his issues. I was seen as independent and able to sort out my own problems - when as hard as I tried, I couldn't sort out my own problems by myself. Sure I'm intelligent and stuff but my relationships were totally out of my control and I felt powerless to change that dynamic.

This book is fantastic for that - it really makes sense - so heal away Jacinta!!!!

Thanks Betsy... Your support is so valuable to me.

Jacinta ;)

[Betsy]

Jacinta,

For gosh sakes at 13 with the kind of childhood you had there is no way your relationships could turn out good.. and no way you had any power to change anything. I am just thankful that you lived through that horrible experience.

Where you are today is a testiment to your strength, intelligence, and inate will to survive. You've come a long way baby! It's not going to be easy but keep going the right direction. Step by step. You can do it.

I hope you have a councelor that understands you now. Tell them all of this and let them help you heal. You can't undo what happened but you can learn to view things differently and see that none of it was your fault and you only did what you did to survive.

Thanks for trusting us with these important details of your life.

bets

[Jacinta]

Thank you for reading my long-winded details. I see my counsellor in three days and you have made me realise this is the stuff I do need to start talking about.

The last boyfriend rang from rehab tonight (I didn't expect his call and didn't have my caller id showing). I told him of my situation with the job agency - that I didn't want to get caught up in it - I didn't want my life further affected by his addiction. I told him how angry I was that as the "junkie" he gets all the support in the world but for me as the ex-girlfriend of a "junkie" - I'm expected to "just get on with it" even though his addiction has affected every area of my life (besides my relationship with my dog, that is). I told him, I am only just starting to heal from the events of the past and I'm certainly not going to risk bringing any more of the same situations into my life.

I have an appointment with a social worker tomorrow and then I have my appointment with the job agency. Yes, I would ideally like to be able to stay with the same job agency but I don't want to put any energy into healing something that is not my issue - I've got more than enough to sort out in myself. I will still learn the lessons of the situation and how they relate to my previous experience - and take what healing I can from the situation. But I am certainly not keen to have the situation continue in my life, if that can be helped. I never run away from my responsibilities or any situation I have created and although I may have "tapped into" the situation because of my previous experiences and my on going patterns, I do not believe his addiction is my issue, if that makes sense?

I will share all that I have told you with my counsellor.

Your support is so valuable to me Bets!

Thank you - also there maybe something about you on other posts - but can you please share with me how you are going at the moment - the joys and challenges in your life?

XX

Jacinta :blink:

[Betsy]

Jacinta,

thanks for asking about me. i have been coming here a lot since i found this site. when i first came i wasnt going to work much or being responsible at home and had infact lost all sense of self or meaning in life. i didnt think it would ever come back. i was hospitalized for short times on 3 different occassions to prevent suicide. i still have thoughts of it... it still seems a solution. that doesnt seem right to feel that way but....

my yougest son 33 is disabled and lives with staff in his own apartment. i own a group home facitlity that oversee's him and others that are mentally retarded or developmentally disabled. it has grown to the point where we have 15 homes in the community. my other son is 35 (turns 36 this month). 2 months ago he seperated from his wife of 15 years.. it was devestating to him and us. he has 3 children girl 14, boy 4, girl 8 months, financial problems and relationship problems. his whole family moved in with us in may until they moved out mid-july. my son stays with us and she took the kids. she cant handle the 4 year old so he is here probably 5 days a week, the baby 2 nights a week, and the 14 year old only when she wants to be... or should i say wants something (lol). the 14 year old has been in the hospital 2 times since she left over self harm issues. she is dx'd as bi polar. all this has been an addition crisis in my life.

i am 56 years old... when i first came here i thought i was 57 but then i did the math (lol). in case you think i am an old crazy person.. i still jump on the trampoline with the 4 year old, i shop hot topic with the 14 year old to buy her punk outfilts because that is all she will wear. My work partner is 36 and we are very close.

have i recoverd? no. and am i on a bucket of meds? yes, but everytime i go off them the depression, depersonalization, voices, and lack of ability to feel.. gets worse. so for not this is how i proceed. i am interested in life, at least to a degree... at least seeing where it is going to toss me.

i dont post much now, beyond the humor forums or to answer occassional posts from others. my problems at this time of my life seem so trivial compared to others that i guess i kind of feel like "i don't deserve to post."

anyway probably more than you wanted to know! but thanks for caring.. caring makes all the difference.

bets :wub:

[Jacinta]

Wow! What a powerhouse of a woman!

I find your story facinating! It makes me wonder what some of us are here to learn??

Some people DO have gifted lives and are able to cruise through life with relative ease but IF they don't have the right shoes or they break a finger nail - it's the end of the world for them.

I had a bout of suicidal thoughts 8 1/2 - 7 years ago. I don't think anyone can understand just what it is like to live with major depression until they have experience it.

I'm really interested in your son and your journey with him through his disability; the feelings you have about it, the impact on your son, the impact on your family and the impact on your life in general. My nephew is disabled and in the final stages of Fredrick's Ataxia (very rare condition with symptoms much like MS). He can no longer see, can barely talk, can't feed or toilet himself - but is sharp as a tack - and his gradually loss of: quality of life, dignity and control over his life is now affecting him very deeply. Of course, he has issues about his impending mortality but he's more than ready to go. He doesn't want to live like he is anymore. Unfortunately, the heart is usually the last organ to give out with this cruel disease and that could take another 10 years!! The only thing he can do is make it known that when the time comes, he wants to refuse treatment for his heart. (P.S. Euthanasia is illegal in our state).

You are amazing how you have turned your personal tragedy around into giving so much valuable support to others. Just one home is a personal triumph but 15 is extraordinary. I am in awe of you; your skills, your spirit and your "guts".

Are you eldest son and his family getting much support from elsewhere besides you? I am amazed by you capacity to care for the whole family as a unit and not get caught into the issues - just loving them all unconditionally. That is a very rare, extremely special (and probably hard-earned!) gift you have - and seem to give freely.

My heart goes out to you and your son's family. If their marriage is meant to end, I hope it can end with as much personal responsibility, emotional closure, and good will possible. I pray that all goes well with custody and property settlement and the best possible outcomes are achieved for the children.

If it is a just a hard time, that neither of them can withstand at the moment, I hope they get all the love and support they need to nurse their family through this crisis. Don't you agree that family can be one of the most difficult aspects of our lives to manage yet it can also be the most intensely rewarding aspect of our lives as well?

(Yes, I do still believe that, despite my history. A healthy family unit, is something, that is paramount priority for me to provide my son. I know there is no such thing as a totally functional family but am determined to learn whatever I need to learn, to heal me, and create that environment to the best of my ability for my son. Isn't it just so unfortunate as a parent that when you look back, you see so many things that you would do differently - but can only be content with changing the present - and realising you were doing the best you could with the level of understanding you had at the time).

Life can be pretty tough at the best of times but disability, relationship concerns and mental health issues really show us what we are made of - hey!

You seem to have allowed yourself all the freedom that your particular situation affords - and I honour you for that.

I have no idea about what you mean by thinking you don't deserve you to post. I think you certainly do deserve to post - but if I can't change your mind, I can assure you that I deserve you to post!!!

Love,

Jacinta

:blush:

[Betsy]

jacinta,

thats for all your uplifting comments. i guess the part of not deserving to post is related to the fact that i feel like i am in a realitivly good place and everyone else seems to be more in crisis. talking (posting in response to people) helps me to think through some of my own problems that are similar.

i will post more about my son soon... probably in the letters forum. it will be a very emotional job for me so i have to wait for a moment when i am stronger.

i have very much enjoyed our exchanges and think that you are the powerhouse. you just keep trying to attain your goals in spite of set-backs. that is so admirable.

at the moment i am beginning to stress and my dissassociation, voices, and focus are beginning to deteriorate. i am going to really work on myself because, i dont want to go back where i was... ever.

i think my meds are off... even tho i have been taking them faithfully and i dont really want to go back to the psych to tell him and have them increased or something else added.. i really hate taking meds.

take care of yourself and your son....

i know you are doing the best you can... and i feel like that is good enough.

i want to let you know i am going to be out of town from tomorrow evening until sunday evening. just in case you post something to me and i dont respond it isnt because i dont care

(((((((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

bets

[Jacinta]

Bets,

Hope a change is as good as a holiday for you - and I'll be looking for your story. Maybe, it might be time for me to venture further than the intro page hey!!

It was a very warm welcome you gave me - and I'll check from time to time to see if there is anything from you. Remember, good day, bad day, still post - and I will respond the next time I log on.

Thank you again for your warmth and caring.

Take Care Bets,

Love,

Jacinta :P

[Jacinta]

Wow, it took a bit of digging to uncover this old post.

I put a list of the 11 main personality disorders in front of my friend today and asked him to pick which one he thought I had - he chose 5 of them and I add one more.

Borderline

Dependent

Obsessive-Compulsive

Paranoid

Schzotypal

...and I added Histronic as well (but only in the degree that I think relationships are more intimate than what they may be, I demand attention, and my emotions change rapidly and are strongly expressed).

He feels that I am more Obsessive-Compulsive than anything. I think I am more Borderlin.

I am changing psychiatrists because of the conflict of interest with having my husband's new girlfriend sharing the same psychiatrist. It hasn't been a problem over the past 18 months, but know I can see myself shutting down and being quite chosy in what I disclose because the seperation issues are so intense. I hope I am not just being paranoid!!!

It will be good to get a diagnosis though - then I can know what to work on and how to work on it.

- - Just had to share that. I thought the experience of having a trusted friend do that was quite interesting, even though it doesn't replace professional diagnosis - and I wouldn't have allowed myself to be that vulnerable unless it was a TRUSTED friend.

Jacinta

[Betsy]

Jacinta,

i wondered where you had been. i havent read many posts by you and i wondered how you were. you didnt really have to dig up this old post you could just post a new post and get responses to that.

as far as your friend dx'ing you i agree you shouldnt put much stock in that. they see things from a different perspective that the psych docs do. and as far as a dx from a psych doc i am not sure i put much stock in that either. in the year pluss that i have been seeing mine i have gone from a simple major depression dx to a dx of major depression with bpd traits and burst of schizoaffective dissorder and psychotic features. afraid to go again.. god knows what label might be added to that.. altho i feel like he has seen all my "faces" now so hopefully he wouldnt change it.

anyway good luck with your doc and it is good to see you posting!

bets

[Jacinta]

Thanks Babe,

I'm sort of moved on from "diagnosis" now - and know that a team of professional would probably have a variance of opinion. I think it is about dealing with the "symptoms" of distortion.

Thanks for your post.

Jacinta