Do People Know?

[Daisy]

I wAS ACTAULLY just wondering how many of you all have TOLD or have had People around you told about your BDP.

And if and how it has effected your life and/or relationship with them.

MY Therpist told my Mother when I was under 18, aprently he had the obligation too. My father also knows. but they took one read of a brochure and just left it.

Dad thinks I should just get over everything and that self harm most of all is 100% wrong and i need to just STOP like its that easy. Any attempt on my life is seen as a reflection on him apprently, its fair to say HE DOES NOT understand it.

I dont think anyone does.

Most my family KNOW i am Mentally Ill, its pretty obvious that I do since ive been in and out of hospitals since i was 16. They all have diffenernt views.

I kinda told my boss a little, never gave him a name but he is really great about it. To HIM if it doenst affect my work then why does it matter! Hes realy great.

Mum..does NOT understand but likes to think she does. I think she kinda leaves me alone more in a way but sometimes is more controlling, i dont live with either parent know so i guess this helps.

hmm..just wondering..

DO people in YOURLIFE know about BPD?

Did it change the way they looked at you, talked to you, did it effect things?

[budgie]

Katy,

No body, not even myself, know, least of all, had a label - BPD - for me - until I had the greatest crash of my life in 1999. It all came out then..... the abuse when young, the anguish, the pain, the self harm, everything.....so all my family members know, and they knew it was serious because by then I was so bad I had to be hospitalised and stuff. Some cannot yet understand still, and some others try their best. I dont blame them. Its not easy to understand the intensity of what we feel. A few will say get over it, they are totally ignorant and to be totally disregarded. Those seriously concerned will want to really know more, but their hands really are tied....because they cannot experience how exactly painful i feel. Only the people here, those who have BPD, knows, the pain, the sorrow, the fear.....u will know all these when u interact more with the same people Katy, and share around. It helps. It had helped me a lot. It also helped to post your feelings. I am still managing it. I wouldnt say that I am mentally "sick" as such u know, its like a stigma here, in asia. I dont really consider myself "sick" in a strict sense really. Yes, I am on medication (prozac, xanax, topamax)...its just a mood thing. I just have some deficiency in certain brain synapses! LOL...it is actually a true description! when i say i m mentally sick, i think people ran! hehehheh...i told usually introduce myself with that! actually if i dont say anything, nobody will know anything! i AM perfectly normal except for some instances of mood swings (i dont self harm anymore...casually speaking!)...yeah! I am not self deceiving...my friends can vounch for me, they never understand why the hell i say i am on medication! and there r my closest friends who knows everything! so katy, u see, do not be afraid ok, u r not alone. ;)

[em]

I think all of my neighbours that i speak to know about my BPD and that I used to self harm from when i was bad last year. I am lucky in the sense none of them treat me differently, there was one night where we were all out and it was like 20 questions, they wanted to know about it and learn about it. compared to some of them i am pretty sane though

But i have found it helpful them knowing because on the days where i can't get any words out they dont get offended if i don't talk to them and i can wear short sleeves in the summer :lol:

[summer]

My family only knows that I have some sort of stress that I am going through...they wouldn't understand it so we don't talk about anything to do with my health. Just my husband and 16 year old daughter know.....My daughter is really supportive and knows when I am struggling...she helps me out alot and even knows when I should take my meds and when I shouldn't drive because of some of my meds....I am grateful to her......my husband will drive me around to where I need to go when I can't drive. I have one friend who knows about my BPD and she is very supportive to me , as I am supportive of her depression. So, I guess to me it doesn't matter that a bunch of people don't know....I am just lucky I have who I have.....and they don't mock me in any way shape or form.

[JustOneMore]

I was told only last year what my diagnosis was, and i have been in and out of hospitals since i was 17. The way i found out first of all, is by reading the MDT Care sheet!

I then asked for an explaination and was kinda given one.

I still can't apply for a free bus pass though, as the quack at the travel company doesn't believe BPD is a mental illness (yes there are still people like that about)

To be honest.... I think BPD is a label given to people who they can't decide what is wrong with them.

[Tory]

Hi,

My family i live with know, (my Mum, Gran and siblings) My little sisters and brother are generally really supportive but find it hard at times, my Mum is great but at times blames herself ect and my Gran is really understanding. My older sister doesnt believe there is such a thing as BPD and thinks i just a pain lol

As for my mates Nic (my kinda bf) knows and is great but really cant deal with the me wanting to kill myself at times, he tries but it really hurts him. Hes great at understanding si bits tho.

My mate knows (by accident cos i freaked out at summit once) and shes doing her mental health nurse training but she often doesnt understand me at times and another of my mates knows but when i get bad he tends to disappear.

I once told my tutor at college and he was great best support i ever had then the college but a ban on us talking.

No one i work with knows cos i think they may object and especially some of the closed minded parents of the kids. My other mates dont know and i dont want them to. People often react badly and treat me differently. I know i couldnt have a proper relationship with nic without him knowing cos i would feel i was hiding who i was. I never plan to tell other people in my outer family but people close to me kinda need to know cos i dont function well at times.

Wow thats long sorry for mumbling on.

tory

[Amy]

Being that I am 30 years old and was finally given an accurate dx 5 months ago, you would think I would be calling everyone I ever knew to explain away past actions.

However, at this point in my life, I am very withdrawn from the outside world, it has been easy to do since I am a stay at home mom.

My hubby knows, my mother knows, and now my in-laws know because I didn't feel up to attending the family reunion last month. I felt it best to tell them the truth rather than them feel like I'm avoiding spending time.

I'm not sure I would tell anyone else unless I really had to.

Amy

[Angela]

Hi,

I have recently thought of buying lots of Mind Info booklets on BPD and sending them out to everyone I know as I feel like screaming it out to the world. I sent my mum some info I printed off the net some time ago and asked her to pass it around my family. She read it but no-one else was interested. I have been accused of attention-seeking by one of my sister's and my dad and have also been told that I have no reason to overdose, so sometimes telling people can be even more painful. I have recently started to explain more to some of my friends, but they don't seem get it even though they are supportive. Some friends understand more than others, usually the more sensitve one's or the one's that have known me longer.

I started a voluntary job working at a teabar at the local hospital last week and I told them I had mental health problems. I wrote on the application form that I had BPD because I want to make more people aware of it, but when I was asked what my mental health problems are, I only told them about my panic attacks. The reply was 'oh, you won't have a problem with that here then.' They obviously thought that panic attacks were only caused by busy places. That put me off trying to explain what BPD was.

Not sure if this helps, sorry I went off on one a bit, it just gets me angry that more people don't open their mind's.

I hope your friend's understand.

Angela :wacko:

[Martina]

Dexter knows, and his friends both in and out of the military know.

Mom knows, but she forgets about it.

Hasn't affected any relationships. Althouhg Dexter's friend Joanne thinks I'm dangerous.

[cooler]

Being that I am 30 years old and was finally given an accurate dx 5 months ago, you would think I would be calling everyone I ever knew to explain away past actions.

However, at this point in my life, I am very withdrawn from the outside world, it has been easy to do since I am a stay at home mom.

My hubby knows, my mother knows, and now my in-laws know because I didn't feel up to attending the family reunion last month. I felt it best to tell them the truth rather than them feel like I'm avoiding spending time.

I'm not sure I would tell anyone else unless I really had to.

Amy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi folks,

Although I can identify with all the posts here, Amy's is the closest to me I think. After holding down a teaching job for 10 years, I finally caved in about four years ago and then maybe two years ago I went into social isolation, moved to a different town and everything. My wife and daughter know how I am, and that's a lifesaver, but outside the house I say nothing. I don't encourage friendships, and I like to be among strangers. Sometimes I read my poetry in public, but I don't like to do the same event twice.

I have only recently discovered that BPD is the diagnosis which covers ALL my many symptoms, and this is a great relief to me, explaining the whole sorry mess of past life events. One of my biggest problems has been forgiving myself for past behaviour, and suddenly I feel that maybe I don't need to. Considering the severity of the symptoms in this illness I didn't do so bad after all (and now I know that there are other people like me).

I don't mind being alone, which I see as a victory over the illness, and these days no one would know from my behaviour that I am anything but a quiet guy. I find that a tranqil lifestyle does wash into the mental life, and 'mindfulness' in the style of Buddhism helps. I avoid emotional entanglements like the plague.

Family reunions? No chance!

:)

[calyps]

I guess I'm really lucky- all my close friends and the people I work with know. I just fail to see why i should lie and stuff when I didn't choose to suffer from this. If other people have a problem with it, it's theirs to deal with (yeah right, I don't blame myself at all...). I can only offer knowledge and advice. My family know less but i am able to talk to them more. My friends were there with me throughout the whole hospital admission/bad time so it's good that they know. The people I work with are amazing though- my Boss even read laura paxton's Borderline and Beyond- when he was on HOLIDAY! They reckon I make it easier by being honest and providing information. I did send some stuff to my family but my sister said she started to read but got lost in all the big words and jargon. Having people know definately makes it easier for me, no detailed explanations have to be given as to why i have so much time off at work. My Boss also met with my Social Worker to see if there's anything more they can do for me at work. Pretty sure this is all because i work for the Council and they have their 'investors in people' thing to abide by.