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malibu

By malibu,
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malibu Member

malibu

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:( hello everybody i have just joined the forum and not sure if i am doing it right i have been diagnosed with bpd last year and i am stuggling with the diagnosis i would like to talk to others with the same diagnosis

take care hugs

claire simmons

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samsung Loyal Members

samsung

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Hi Welcome!!!

whe are all here to care and listen to one another!!

I am glad you joined... hope to see your postings soon!

Rachel

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malibu Member

malibu

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Hi terri thankyou for replying and thankyou for being supportive i hope i find this site helpful and supportive to survive

take care hugs

claire simmons

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malibu Member

malibu

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Hi rachael thankyou for being so supportive and welcoming me into this site.I hope you are feeling ok?How are you coping with the diagnosis?

Take care hugs

claire simmons

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malibu Member

malibu

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Hi ann thankyou for your reply i hope i find this site helpful have you found this site helpful and how are you coping?how long have you had this illness .

take care hugs

claire simmons

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Barebones Loyal Members

Barebones

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hi claire you will find that some is new to being bpd and you will find some has had it for years. i have had bpd for 12 years i think now. but in that time ive been up and down with it which i had a spam of okness for 4 years with little bpd symptoms. good to see you posting i hope that you get what your looking for from here in time.

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malibu Member

malibu

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Hi terri thankyou for replying and letting me know how long people can have bpd and how you can be up and down throughout the years.Terri could you tell me when live support will be back?I really found that helpful.

Take care hugs

claire simmons

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Barebones Loyal Members

Barebones

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not sure when live support will be back i know they are trying to sort it out soon as they can. so maybe try post how your feeling may help you out in the mean time.

if your really bad you could allways pm a staff member and ask to go into chat with them and they could talk to you that way.

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malibu Member

malibu

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Hi terri thankyou for being so helpful could you tell me how i would pm a staff ,member and go into chat room.I dont know nothing about chat room and how it works

take care

claire simmons

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Barebones Loyal Members

Barebones

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you need to go to top of the forum and you see some buttons which are home,rules,blogs,chat,help,search ect. you press on the chat button and it will take you into chat. you may have to download java if you get a error button. which there will be a link there to down load it.

hope that helps

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malibu Member

malibu

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I have just gone into chatit send welcome i wrote message in staff room and no reply am i doing it right or is there no staff

thanks for helping me

take care

claire simmons

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Barebones Loyal Members

Barebones

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well normaly if your in chat somoone will come in. you dont need to go into staffroom that is for meetings and so forth for staff.

near end of the forum you can see if anyone is in chat when you scroll down but it dont show anyone if they are not in there.

hope that helps and please take care of yourself.

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malibu Member

malibu

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hi rachael i am struggling right now i have cut my face today and really feel like taking an overdose.I am glad you are ok and feeling well i wish i could feel better i feel really unwell at present but i have spoke to my children today on the phone which was nice to hear they are ok.i dont know if i have asked you do you have any children?do u live alone?

take care hugs

claire simmons

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samsung Loyal Members

samsung

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i am sorry you are going through such a rough patch at the moment. Keep on posting about your feelings... i am here to listen and try and help... do you have a therapist? i dont have children. and i live with 6 other people. how about you?

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malibu Member

malibu

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Hi rachael i dont have a therapist but i have a approved mental health social worker who i see twice a week and have phone contact in between time if i need to speak to someone.But i dont find him helpful i feel he does not understand me and he doesnt take me seriously.I have thre children a daughter aged6 a son aged4 a son aged1.I live on my own as my children were removed from me as i have bpd.I am divorced due to domestic violence.I feel like i am going mad i keep having this wooshing sound in my ears .and feel like i cant cope anymore with life that i have nothing to live for.I dont understand how you can get this illness and feel so bad i was diagnosed last may when my children were took off me.I have just cleaned my flat i went total mad cleaning just to stop hurting myself.I dont know what else i can do to try and live a normal life do u have any ideas?

take care hugs

claire simmons

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samsung

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i dont know... i am high functioning. work, play, entertain, and due dates. but i cant funtion when i sit still... i think too much then. i have to be booked into a hospital every vacation!!! that is my action plan, not very fun, but it keeps me from taking my own life...

what do you think...how can you improve things for you?

you are valuble!!

take care rachel

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malibu Member

malibu

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Hi rachael i think you are doing the right thing keeping yourself busy and booking yourself in hospital when you feel really bad to keep yourself safe.Its better than not coping and hurting yourself.How are you feeling today?

take care hugs

claire simmons

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calyps Loyal Members

calyps

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Hi Claire,

welcome!

I thought I'd hijack in here with some thoughts that occured to me while reading your posts...

I have often wondered how i ended up 'like this'- I have 3 sisters, we all grew up in the same (crappy) environment, they're ok and I have BPD. I don't know if you know anything about DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) but they subscribe to the Biosocial model- which basically says BPD is the result of being an emotionally vulnerable person that grew up in an invalidating environment. Or as my Community Employment Adviser says 'sensitive people who had bad childhoods'.

As for the cure- u may be waiting a while but a lot of us here are working at it.

I look back on this week in particular, and i can see how much 'better' I am. I entered the mental health system about 5 years ago, and i was a MESS. The emotions and the abandonment and the urges to feel pain and destroy everything are still here, and still plague me, but I can deal with them more effectively. I have been in therapy for almost a year, and it has helped me create a support system, be more confident so I can ask for help, identify how i am feeling and express it, and develop some skills that make living just a little bit easier.

You have worked on getting a support system by posting here. Little steps. Life can be ok (hey, it could even be great).

Glad you found us,

Anwen

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ktodee_27 Loyal Members

ktodee_27

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Hi Claire :)

Welcome to bpdworld, and glad to meet you.

Im sorry you are struggling so much. It takes awhile to accept things after you've been told you have bpd.

Ive had bpd myself since I was like 13 and Im 27 now, so thats like 14 years for me. Ive had on and off bouts of it. Each year, I go through ok periods and not ok periods depending with my bpd. It can last anywhere from a half hour to many months. it just depends on my moods which seem to drag me along at times their ways, med changes due to needing them or for insurance reasons having to change them, or different external situations or even regular life stress could send the bpd going, or my ptsd or major crisis, life changes or events. Im a very sensitive person so at times it is very hard and my bpd can come back at any point.

some symptoms still linger in the ok periods, but they are not as obvious since I know how to cope then and I am under control with my mental health. I have been a recovering SI'r for 5 years now by my pure faith I believe and by the grace of God. I still get urges at times, but they just flee in and out.

Usually before it gets that far i turn to my support systems then for help (either online or real time) turn to god, sing praises through it, use writing and write thru my feelings by poetry or journaling or i go out and distract myself or i do what i have to do to keep myself sane and safe at the moment. or after the rare moments where it comes and goes i do the same thing so i dont sit and think too long.

at rare times like today i have to call in sick to work since it gets to be too much on me mentally or emotionally at times so I dont fly over the deep end and hurt other people, or worse yet, myself just over one bpd day.

i take a day then and regroup and get support on and offline and sleep if im physically tired and do what i have to do for me and i come back refresshed the next day. thats basically how i cope with my illness. and how it works for me.. i need it sometimes and it works. (better then the alternative)

SI is a lot to deal with and it took me those 5 years thru being in hospitals, group homes that did behavior modification with me and using 12 step recovery programs to stop doing it, but I did. It takes practice over time with coping skills, lots of support, willingness, and in my case, a lot of faith to stop. It is not easy nor something you can beat overnight but it can be accomplished. You just need to find what works for you and when the time is right for yourself. I wish you luck with it. :hug2:

I also have a drop in support worker during the weekdays that stops and talks with me or we do phone or email conferneces to see how im doing. and she helps me out and prompts me a little if she sees things are falling apart. i handle my own affairs primarily and i also work part time. im pretty much on my own on the weekends and most of the time but can call support if i need to for anything. im in my own apartment in transitonal living in the community. i usually get along with online support (bpdworld or other places) though and its a rarity i use my live support where im at on weekends.

Bpdworld is my number one support system when I need it on weekends or at anytime and this is a really excellent place of support that has helped for years for me. :) (and for countless others) I would be lost if bpdworld wasnt here. I wouldnt be on the outs, lets just say... thats how great of a job they do here. :) I hope you find the same level of support I do here along with many others.

Nice meeting you Claire and welcome! :D

Take Care,

xxKatie

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