cloudyfox Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Why do strangers think they have the right to judge you? My car broke down at the weekend, so I have been walking my son to school. It is a fourty minute journey each way, so being quite thirsty on the way home I thought I'd stop at the shop and buy a nice cold drink for me and my youngest. I stopped outside the shop to open our drinks only to have some old man say "It's very early in the morning for that isn't it?" It took me a moment to realise he thought I was drinking alcohol at which point I said, "It's only a chocolate milkshake." He replied, "Oh, that's alright then." As I was walking away, I thought, "Hang on a minute, alcohol or not it was none of his business. How dare he judge me like that just because I am younger than him and pushing a pushchair! He knows nothing about me or my life!" As you can probably guess, this has really riled me. I do take everything very personally, even from complete strangers (as I'm sure you can all relate to). What I wish I had said now is "Not that it's any of your business, but....." or "What, for a chocolate milkshake?" This is going to play on my mind all day now. I wish people would think before they speak. Throwaway snidey comments like that can really ruin someones day! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Cloudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 true fox, a bloody careless remark from a total stranger do get us down sometimes, however silly it is! Hope the darn feeling will pass soon though fox.....just treat the old fella as senile.... maybe he's not fully awake yet...could he b sleepwalking??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudyfox Posted October 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 just treat the old fella as senile.... maybe he's not fully awake yet...could he b sleepwalking??? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thanks Budgie, you made me smile! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 That is so frustrating... *Budge made me laugh too!!!* I think some people (ok I might be stereo-typing here) expecially seniors honestly DONT KNOW how to be tactfull, they dont think before they speak and they dont have repect for young people, yes thats right, they want US to respect them but they dont respect us, like u said just cause ur younger and pushing a pushchair Im sure he made a judgemnt as we make a judgment by saying he is slepwalking, its a horrid vicious cycle. I guess now you have thought about the situation u can see what youd say next time, imagine if you see him again walking you can be 100% prepared to say, something to him maybe "Oh excuse me sir, do you have $1 i need to get more alchol" OK TOTTALY KIDDING! but u see my point. try not to let it bother you, he had no idea, he WAS beign judgmental, you know no whats ud say again and YOU KNOW that YOU were drinknig Chocolate Milk (YUM by the way!!!!) so YOU are the one that matters. Hugs nad stay strong Katy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Cloudy, You could focus on what a great dedicated Mom you are to walk your son 40 minutes each way to school. I think you are marvelous to do that, and it seems without feeling bad about it. maybe next time you could say... Oh sir, this is only chocolate milk, with a 40 minute walk each way to school we get so thirsty! That ought to make him feel so guilty for judging such a nice woman so harshly. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudyfox Posted October 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Thanks for the support and the great comebacks! I have to admit I nearly kept him off school today because I was quite anxious about walking (all those strangers on the streets!) but I got through it. Another small victory for me, and it's kind of helped take the sting out of what happened this morning. Cloudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martina Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Next time, just come right out and ask him whats up. He'll be so tongue tied he probably will be too scared to answer!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Oh well, u r one up if u could jus forgive that darn bugger.........LOL! Might b easier that way! Afterall, u hv more complex issues on hand hv u not????? I do! LOL! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 It is horrible when people judge you when they know absolutely nothing about you, i have no idea what they think gives them the right to do this. Well done on getting past it. flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I am afraid if you did try to say something you will be labeled something not very nice and he will he justified, it never pays to answer those kind of ppl back just ignore them and be the bigger person, or you could stagger up the road singing pub songs whilst he is in your view, that might work, at 8am. Busy bodies is all they are and deserve no respect. I have no respect for busy bodies, and have known a few in my time. Is your car likely to be fixed soon? Thats a lot of miles. Happy trails Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudyfox Posted October 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Hi Wabbit I think the car is finally being picked up tomorrow (Have to wait and see - it was supposed to be picked up on Monday and Tuesday!). Still, at least walking keeps me fit [trying desperately to think positive]. I think I did come out of it the better person. He was the one that looked stupid for assuming I was drinking. Maybe he'll think twice next time. Cloudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 If they gave out Blue Peter badges old emotional beaten up super mums, you would have to get one.Maybe even 2 or 3. For those of you in the US they are equivalent to brownie points. You certainly deserve them. You are a trooper. ((((((((((((((((((((((Have a big Bunny hug))))))anyhow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Thats what I was aiming at Cloudy, that u come out a better person! right on! Bullseye!!!!!! *CLAPS * SOMERSAULT! Er...what about some brownies over here too? ferget about the points! B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacinta Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Cloudy, Was he accusative in his approach, or what he just a rigid, gruff old man trying to say hello in the only way he knows how? I know for you to post he was probably accusative - but I just thought putting in another perspective may help clarify if he was indeed judging you. If he was, keep the problem with him, and give him your pity. He couldn't have much of a life, to try and get in an argument with someone he doesn't know because of his own issues. I think he must be pretty lonely - and just getting lonelier if his tone was accusative. Who would want to seek out his company? He's better off just leavinging public drunkedness to the police and get himself a life. Jacinta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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