lostsoul Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 just dropping in for a few minutes to give a progress report..have not self harmed in 7 weeks, despite wanting tohave not replaced razors and matches i threw away in anticipation of quitting self harm, despite wanting tohave quit smoking, despite (desperately) not wanting tohave quit alcohol, despite (more desperately) not wanting tohave developed a strange rash lol (this has nothing to do with anything lol)am eating well everyday and putting on weight, which is great - eating well is literally the best present i ever gave myself. i don't know how i survived before, on fucking, one sandwich or an apple, i almost forget what it's like not to eat and feel dizzy and shitok ok what else? i'm engaged. which doesn't mean as much as you might think, because, i'm just happy, whether i'm getting married or not. i'm not bothered, i'm just HAPPPPPPPYYYYi used my grandma's engagement ring, because, although she had an unhappy relationship and some could say oh the ring will bring bad luck, i like to think more positively these days - fresh beginnings, turning things around, doing it better, breaking the legacyand so on. i'm going to stop now because i fear i am at risk of appearing smug.things are alright. i wonder how long this could last? i suspect, not long, enough. but here's to hopingi hope also that all those here are doing ok today.. i'm sending positive vibes...(((bpdworld)))x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vorpalblade Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 what a fabulous post to read well done you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolphin Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 well done you keep up the good work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wednesday Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 :D I am so happy for you.This is brilliant- you are really caring for yourself. You deserve it.BRILLIANT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted May 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 ((((thanks guys)))))your words of support are appreciated!!!!! : )x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realscape Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Well done lost, keep on at it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddypotty Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Fantastis news Lost,long may it continue!Patricia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 SMUG LOOKS GREAT ON YOU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs tree Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 so am impressed....need to follow in your footstepsMrs Tree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted May 4, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 lol betsySMART ARSE LOOKS GREAT ON YOUhahai tried to get my nan's engagement ring altered yesterday but they said they couldn't do it. which is sad. i don't get to wear it! aka: BOOOOOanyways. i get a brand new one which is cool. or do i? hmm we shall have to see. on the upside i found out my nan's is worth 600 to 2000 pounds. on the downside, angelo can't afford a ring as nice as that one. BOLLOCKS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brassed2bits Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 great to hear your good news ...I want to know if you can have a virtual wedding, say in the chat room ... then we can all come too!!!!Keep safe :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth L Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 well donebeth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calyps Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 When I was India they 'altered' a ring for me by wrapping cord around the inside half of the ring (as you are wearing it) to make it smaller. If you never take it off, or put your hand palm up, you'll be ok. I hate to think how they made them bigger.It's such a shame your family heirloom doesn't fit- I like stuff with history and I've heard the 'bad luck' thing before and I always think that at the time of the purchase of the ring, things must have pretty good to do that. But then, maybe the rules of marriage have changed somewhat, I like to think that it is more about the love these days, but I know someone who's getting married for the 'security', and I think my sister only did it because my mother gave her hassle because she didn't want anymore grandchildren with different surnames.Oh, Jesus, i hope I haven't gone all cynical...I am REALLY happy for you, I'm finding being engaged really cool, like there's less questioning than before. We can make plans together and I don't always have to think of the back-up plan for when he fucks off and leaves me. I guess this is stability? I wish many stability on you. Happy days chick,xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 weldone losty (((hugs))) keep up the good work im glad things is improving for you with alot of your own control doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted May 5, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 thanks guys... hey it's lovely weather we're having. hmmm. surely i can do better than that...this feels like a 'cab conversation'.. those short chit chat ones you have while you're waiting to be picked up. not long enough to get into anything deep. too long to say nothing... so you chat shit. what am i waiting for? not a cab, no. a boyfriend lol. to come home from work. it's really crap waiting for things.can't concentrate on anything else. well anyway. that's the cab conversation. i think he just pulled in.later matersx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 :grouphug[1]: :grouphug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdesh Posted May 7, 2006 Report Share Posted May 7, 2006 ^_^ :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted May 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2006 thanks guys but i'm not in recovery anymore. i slipped up big time.sorry x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted May 7, 2006 Report Share Posted May 7, 2006 Losty....dont say sowwy...we are here to grab you... if you reach out your hand hun...hope after today you will stand in amazment of how loved you are...tcrachel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted May 10, 2006 Report Share Posted May 10, 2006 Hi Lost,You are in recovery, even if you slip up here and there. Even if you slip up 'big time'.You are in recovery because you are starting to heal. With the help of love in your life (which is what also happened to me) the healing, nurturing type of love. Things are getting better, it's a gradual process.Recovery won't happen over night, it will be a journey with good times and bad times...and maybe you won't ever be 100% cured. This is something I have had to accept, but the wobbly times become less and less over time. As long as you are aware that it is still around but doesn't have to necessarily rule your entire life, you will be okay.Know Thyself....someone said once... I know what you are going through. We all do...take care Losty. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted May 10, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2006 well, to be honest, i think i'm just fucked, and to be secondarily honest, i think what that means is that i will always bebut thanks for trying to instill some optimism. i'm glad your life is improving. properly improving, as opposed to seemingly, which is what happens to me every 6 months or so.i'm a total bitch at the moment, so please don't take offense at my snidey cynicism. i'm 'in hate' with everything right now, and it's not remotely personal. i think it's great you can say that stuff.... and when i'm back 'up' and consequently deluded about myself, i'll read it over, and go, 'hey! you're so right'ok i'm done. thanks. take care x rachel also thanks x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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