My Psyc

[Daisy]

Not sure if this is the right forum

but i have to get this out, im sure its my insecurities, i hope it is. its me right? yes.? no? maybe not, maybe it relaly is a reflection on my as a person. anyhow..shall trtry to stop panic and type for a minute.

*Last week i was a mess i ahd a dr appointment booked at 10am last friday, i get thier only to be told by his receptionist that he cant see me today. she said he had a funeral to go too. is this truth? who knows but i was so upset already, she said she called me and left a msg on my phone. NO i still dont have the message? so did she lie? she wanted to make me look like a fool. So last week i left his office in a mess of tears and a i was already a mess when i got thier so it didnt help much.

*This week i check my appointment card to see what time this week is, cause we have a booking every friday cause he said he wants to see me weekly.

I see that he is UNAVAILBLE this week. So itl be another week without seeing him. he is booked out all the time and i can only see him fridays cause its my day of work and i have the hospital DBT group anyhow.

So.....if he doenst cancel on me next week next friday next friday, omg another 7 days...then it will be like 3 weeks since ive seen him.

Its not that i NEED HIM or anything its that I am and have been having a hard time as of late and I cant see him for antother week.

I feel abandoned

I feel that I am not good enough for him and that he probably doenst even want to see me ever again so this is his way of avoiding me, sure hes a professional...but this means that he is a good one at learning how to get me to see that he doenst want to talk to me ever again.

I feel like he is avoiding me and that i wont see him again, maybe i dont ever go back. avoid the pain...can i wait till next week i dont know, does he want me to wait till next week or is it going to be another cancelation, he doenst want to see me

argh, avoidence, abandonment....argh........

[Betsy]

Katy,

Sorry you are feeling so bad about this. Abandonment and paranoia sure have a familiar ring. It's so easy to project into situations that it is all our fault and that something that we did is driving the situation rather than just circumstances.

I hate it when i have to miss an appointment. Wether it is because of them or me it doesn't matter it just makes me feel bad. My group t recently went away for 3 weeks to Spain and I was so upset by that it caused me to call my individual therapist and tell him i was quiting individual therapy. He called me back and told me it was against his clinical advise and made a few threats to call ppl if I didnt come in at least one more time to talk it over. When I did come in and we talked he said it was my choice but he still had to call because he didnt think i would be safe.. even though i said i was and i have never lied to him about it. The reality was I really didnt want to quit seeing him I was just upset about the other one going away... makes no sense. I just went off on a paranoid tangent and it really had ripple effect.

Three weeks is a long time to wait for a weekly appt so i can only imagine how bad you feel. i hope you get an opportunity to talk about it in your dbt group. Hong in there even 3 weeks will pass.

bets

[Tory]

(((Katy))) Sorry u feel abandoned, i am sure hes not avoiding u.

My CPN didnt turn up to my appointment last week and i waited 25 mins for there then left. Later i got a msg saying she had a puncture!! Ofc i didnt believe this and am still mad at her and havent called her back! (i really must tho cos i could do with the help)

Take care and 7 days isnt to long even tho it seems it and then u can b proud of yourself for going 3 weeks without seeing him.

Tory xxx