abbynormal Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Hi all,I just need to tell someone what is going on with me. I am still going through some bad memories and they are coming back at a rate my T calls it flooding. It really is too much. I am also experiencing pyscho sematic symptoms. Yesterday my leg swelled up like you would not believe and I had lost all feeling in it. It was scary... I didn't know if i had a blood clot or broke it, and today it is normal. My life is so crazy. I feel so depressed. I want to cry so bad my face hurts but nothing is there. I feel like a freak, a loser, with no friends, no life.Thanks for letting me ventAbby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Abby Sweetheart,I am here for you.I'm afraid to say that my life is a bit messed just now, but you are in my thoughts.Hopefully we will get better soon.lots of lovePipxPS - if you were in this country I would come round and play with your dogs - and maybe speak to you too!!!! (joke) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 ((((((((((((((((( abby ))))))))))))))))))sounds like you are dealing with a lot. you aren't a freak or a loser you are just going through a lot right now. keep posting we are here for you.bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 5, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Thanks Pip and Bets. I need to know there are people that care. Pip, you are funny. You would love my dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eva* Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 It must be horrible to have so many bad memories coming up.I believe that they come up because an instance in you decides that you are finally strong enough to cope. I guess you wouldn't agree that you are. Just han in there for now and I hope you will learn how to deal with those memories and store them 'correctly' as parts of the past not the present.Must have been scary about your leg! I hate just getting strange nervous rashes or getting ill because I'm not coping, but I never had mysterious symptoms like that. Glad it's okay today.HugsEva Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennilo Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 you can pm me if you ever want to talk. I'm not up to date on much but have a great ear. sadness sucks. big hugs. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 abby -it's only my opinion, but for what it's worth, i wouldn't think that somebody's leg would swell up for psychosomatic reasons - mainly because it is not a stress related bodily responsea rash i could understand - skin ailments classically flare up due to stress, as with psoriasis and eczemai could understand asthma too, but not your leg swelling up?this might sound silly, but did your leg really swell up, or do you just think it did?ag. ok, is it really fine today? maybe it would be worth bothering your doctor about just to check things are all ok...hope so at any ratedo take carexx losty xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 5, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 :( Lost,I understand you questioning it. I don't want to put my memories in here as I don't want to upset anyone. One time when I wasn't doing exactly what was asked of me they took my leg and twisted it so my ACL, cartiledge etc was torn. I had 3 surgeries on it to repair it over the years. It really was swollen, my hubby saw it and was amazed. I agree it is just too bizarre but I have got to the doctors over the years for things only to find out there was nothing wrong. Not until my memories started coming back did therpists tell me it was my body remembering.Thanks for your concern.And everyone else! I really do appreciate it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jai Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 (((((((Abby)))))))Wishes for better days and hugs honJai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 abby,that explaination makes it a lot more understandable. hope it wasn't too hard to tell us.i better throw in another hug(((((((((((( abby )))))))))bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 i agree with betsy that it makes it much more understandableisn't the body an amazing thing? that it could do that? this would be right up my friend terry's street you know - he's well into this sort of thing. i know what he would recommend - he would say you should investigate some sort of holistic healing for that; an energy therapy or even a psychic therapy of some sort. if your body is harbouring trauma, you could maybe work with a body therapist to release it~?just some thoughts. i don't know if you're into all that stuff, believe in it etc. i think anything is worth a try myself...take carex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 Lost,Thanks for the suggestion. I don't know much about it. I have certainly had some weird things... Like I lost my eyesight totally for hours once. It again was a memory of some kind. It is really scary when it happens.I went back on my meds. So maybe things will calm down. I still hate the side effects though.Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jai Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 AbbyHope the meds kick in soon and help a little.Your experience of losing sight must have been scary as hell...are you ok now?Our bodies certainly do soak up whatever our psyche has to offer and its not always pleasant..Hang in there hon...hugsJai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 Jai,You are so sweet. It helps to have people here care but I think it is going to be a long time before I "OK". My memories are coming back in full force. I see my t tonight. Hope it is a good session. How are you?Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 Abby,Good Luck for tonight.I hope you are ok afterwards.Will be thinking of you.Pipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 Pip :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 ABBYi wish i could be of more help , but i mean nothing at the moment.just wanted to give you a hug...take carerachel :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 Rachel,Thanks!! Are you ok??? Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 I AM NOT IMPORTANT... YOU ARE... HOW ARE YOU DOING HUN? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 OH Rachel,You are important. I am struggling...Therapy soon. My new memory is of when I was small. Bad bad bad stuff. I am scared to go talk about it. My t already knows cuz we communicate via email daily but face to face is harder.Thanks for caringAbby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 the face to face thing is harder... but i know you can do it...the thing you must remember is that the worst is over... nothing will ever be as bad as what you went through then.i am here for you hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 Good Point! I tend to forget that. It is over just FEELS like it is happening now.Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 i know coz the memories is playing on our senses... we feel it and taste it and smell it and hear it and see it....but that is our mind playing a trick on us....i am here to remind you that you are now safe my friendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted June 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 Was not a good session. He found out from my parts that my last therapist touched me in the wrong way ....I can't trust anyone.... I give up on everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 ((((((((((((((((((((hun))))))))))))))))))))))))oh that is so not good....sorry he touched you in the wrong way.please dont give up.... you need to get better and put the parts together... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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