Hi, I'm New And Bpd In Denial!

[flora]

Hi everyone,

I'm flora aged 24. I've had a mental health problem for years - I've had diagnoses of severe recurrent depression, eating disorders, schizoaffective disorder....but only recently my psychiatrist has started to record "borderline personality traits" on my records. I've fought tooth and nail against this, making official complaints, getting a solicitor and everything - but deep down i've known since my mid teens that i fit the criteria for BPD, and ever since i've been trying to avoid the diagnosis. My psychiatrist says i only fit three of the eight criteria (binge eating and self har and affective instability), but that's because I don't tell her everything. I think i secretly fulfil almost all of them.

The reason i'm worried is because Personality disorder seems like more of an insult than a medical disgnosis. I'm also worried it will stop me from working in health care. Also, because it isn't biochemical, i feel it's all my own fault.

Is it possible to recover, anyone?? I've just stopped DBT and I've probably made a mistake.

I'd also like to chat to people who have similar problems and who won't think i'm a freak!!

Love flora xo

[deadwhisper]

Hi

I understand totally about not telling your psych everything. I think if mine knew the truth she'd have me locked up!

I have been diagnosed with severe depression, anorexia and bullimia but get the impression lately that my psych and therapist are thinking along the lines of me having bpd - haven't asked them tho!

Just coz it's not chemicla doesn't make it our fault. I wish I could believe that too but we have to try and believe it.

Hope you find the support here that you are looking for

[Angela]

Hi Flora!

Welcome to the site.

Sorry you've been having a bad time of it. Many people here (including myself) have similar problems to yourself so I'm sure you'll find lots of support and we definitely won't think you're a freak!

There is evidence that symptoms of BPD can subside after about 10-15 years after diagnosis, not sure if this is true or not though. Pm me anytime.

Angela :)

[verbena]

The research I have seen says that the only trait that is affected by age is impulsivity. Impulsivity seems to be less a problem. Can you explain to me what affective instablity means?

[flora]

The research I have seen says that the only trait that is affected by age is impulsivity.  Impulsivity seems to be less a problem.  Can you explain to me what affective instablity means?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi Verbena,

Affective instability means unstable mood, fluctuating between normal (baseline) mood and depression. I've heard that too, about impulsivity being affected by age. I've manged to get a lot of my impulsive actions under control, I'm not self-harming any more and haven't OD'd in months. But that doesn't mean it's not still there.

Deadwhisper, your problems sound very similar to mine - anorexia, bulimia and severe depression are the diagnoses on my notes at the mo. What i find hard to understand is that I've met loads of people in eating disorders units who have similar problems, but they are not being diagnosed with BPD.

Angela, thanks for your reply. I hope that's true about symptoms subsiding.

A big part of my problem is that i get very attached to authority figures - i always end up thinking i fancy my lecturers and therapists and doctors....and i end up making things up to get their attention. I never mean to do it and i always try to resist it but can't help it. Anyone else have a problem like that? WHat can i do about it?

Love flora