luckygurl Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 This has been bothering me and I havent come here for a while because of it...and MANY other members have voiced this also....This site seems clicky..I understand that many of you have been on here since it was created and that most of you know each other pretty well, but it makes it very difficult for "newbies." For most people that discover this site it seems like a dream come true...many people are confused, scared and lonely and dont have any where to turn. Many dont have anybody else to talk to about BPD and think they've finally found a safe haven...but the reality seems to be that you can pour your heart and soul into a forum and not even get one response......I know there are many people that come and go and that makes it difficult to, but I dont know........PLease. please dont take this defensivly......I'm not trying to be rude..only making a point that I've heard with the people who have contacted me and that I continue to talk to...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 You put your point across very well and wasnt in the slightest bit rude. I understand what you are saying, I also know that where you have a group of ppl like this you will always get clicks, thats the nature of ppl. I know for myself I try to treat everyone equally as bad, so no one feels left out, just kidding. I try to treat everyone equally. There are always gonna be ppl that we get along together with better, that is the nature of ppl. I think the other thing is to not take things personally, I am not saying thats what you are doing, but its possible. Thank you for this post, sometimes it takes a lot to bring things of this nature up to the front. Take care Wabbit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 lucky, i dont think i am being defensive but i havent heard that. i certainly never intend to think anyones post is less than anyone elses just because they are new. the only forum where i dont usually respond in is self harm and that is because i think others can do a much better job of it than i can. hope i didnt offend you or any of the others for that matter. as far as i am concerned you are very welcome here. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Luck. U wer defiantly not offensive. I noticed this a litle when i first joined, but i am gfeeling so much more comfortable now as I do my best to post and to read the posts, this way i get to know the members. its so hard being new somewere. expecailly somewere that people understnad you a littl emore. Ive done my best to overcome the *not knowing anyone* by just reading a lot of the posts and replying when I can. If their is a post im so lost about cause of friends made already i just dont reply nbecause i dont feel right about it. But its getting easier as i learn m0opre abou people and get to know the site and the members better. Takes time hey!!! Hgugs Katy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
em Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Hi Luckygurl, There isn't one of your topics that hasnt had a response to it. Some posts may get more than others depending on how many others can relate to the subject posted about. Everybody is welcomed to the site and we try to make sure that at least one staff member replies to all intros and that all posts have responses to them. This goes for new members and old the only way to feel a part of any group is to get involved in it, if people don't get involved it makes it hard if not impossible for others to make them feel included. I understand this takes time for alot of people but we are always here to support everyone. Take Care Em xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooler Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Hi Luckygurl, Your talking my language. Unfortunately it's my language because of the way I think. I have what I used to call 'rejection sensitivity' and what I now understand to be a part of this BPD thing. In real life situations I'm always the first to get my coat. I have walked out of so many jobs, groups, you name it, because I had this deep belief that I wasn't wanted there. I even had a case recently (yes, it's still happening!) where I was new in a poetry group. The people there liked me so much they said that they would pay me to give them a presentation of my work. But, you know what, I could sense some rivalry coming from one person in the group and rather than make waves I just resigned rom the group, losing a years subscription. I do this for a pastime. This is a debilitating and totally negative mindset, which has dominated my youth and adult life. There is only one loser in my social situations, and it's always me. This board, and some other's like it, have been a godsend. Because it's not involving face to face contact, and the pressure of bodylanguage, I can take a little rejection without running for cover. Also, having a screen name makes it like it's not really me that's getting rejected, or feeling I'm getting rejected. I think that if your honest on a board like this, then you'll get a positive reaction. If you do feel a bit ignored, or someone disagrees, then that is the beginning of getting yourself some skin. I'm not saying that your like me Luckygurl, but if I can survive here, then I think almost anyone can! Welcome to the board. Good luck, Cooler :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Luckygurl, You said a mouthful when you said- For most people that discover this site it seems like a dream come true...many people are confused, scared and lonely and dont have any where to turn. The other thing is that the staff here make sure everyone is welcomed and tries very hard to make all new members continue to feel welcome until they feel more comfortable here. Everyone is thrilled to see so many new members, but it is strange too - and when you've been here long enough, you will see exactly what I mean. You'll get used to seeing the same names and you'll make closer connections with some then others (just like in real life) and all of the sudden there will be a bunch of newbies, and you'll be glad, but a bit disoriented too. It is a dream come true... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted October 26, 2004 Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 Cooler, you are so like me... God we need help! No offense! So glad you wrote how i feel ALL the time. :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claudine Posted October 27, 2004 Report Share Posted October 27, 2004 it is hard to jump in to post when you're new, but you've all made a great effort to make me feel welcome. Thanks!! Em has a great point, getting involved makes a huge difference. (by the way em, you didn't say 'Hi' to me in my intro, I'm deeply hurt. c Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted October 27, 2004 Report Share Posted October 27, 2004 I've been here awhile now, however i have not been around too much lately. this site has grown so much, not just talking about the amount of people, but there are sooooo many different places to post. i've just become overwhelmed with it, so i come here less and post replies to what i can. it is hard to adjust to new people and places, espically for those of us with bpd, so trust me i'm sure we've all shared your feelings to some degree when each of us began comming here. take care dear, I'm here for you! ~kristy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexa Posted October 27, 2004 Report Share Posted October 27, 2004 Luckygurl, You said a mouthful when you said- For most people that discover this site it seems like a dream come true...many people are confused, scared and lonely and dont have any where to turn. The other thing is that the staff here make sure everyone is welcomed and tries very hard to make all new members continue to feel welcome until they feel more comfortable here. Everyone is thrilled to see so many new members, but it is strange too - and when you've been here long enough, you will see exactly what I mean. You'll get used to seeing the same names and you'll make closer connections with some then others (just like in real life) and all of the sudden there will be a bunch of newbies, and you'll be glad, but a bit disoriented too. It is a dream come true... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How do you do it Ver??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooler Posted October 28, 2004 Report Share Posted October 28, 2004 Cooler, you are so like me... God we need help! No offense! So glad you wrote how i feel ALL the time. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hi Claire, None taken. What we can do here is affirm each other, and there is no better affirmation than shared feelings. Have you thought that most 'healthy' people would never post about their emotional life on a website, even with the anonymity of the screename? It takes courage. Cheers :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted October 28, 2004 Report Share Posted October 28, 2004 Punk, Do what? What did I do now?? :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexa Posted October 28, 2004 Report Share Posted October 28, 2004 lol Sorry Ver what i meant was how do you always seem to be able to say exactly what you mean and stuf, sorry lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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