Ginny Posted October 28, 2004 Report Share Posted October 28, 2004 I was offered a job about 2 weeks ago doing what I know best - making prescription specs in a laboratory... I love this job and was lucky enough to be offered part time work cos I know I cant handle full-time. But it is getting closer to start date (next Wed) and I am shitting myself!!! I feel as though I have spiralled out and away from my normal, safe life. I HATE changes and this is gonna be a big one. I know I should be doing this cos it is NORMAl and I wanna be normal but I am SO afraid. Change means a lack of control and I cant bear not to be in control. I am opening myself up to all sorts of stress and situations that I may not be able to handle without proper control. I need to know exactly what is going on, and when, and where and how and why. This is the only way I feel safe. Oh God, what am I gonna do?? I feel like a crazy bitch and yet some people would give their right arm to be given an opportunity to get back into the real world. I am a nutter - I feel so fucking stressed out... OH man, I am so sorry Josh, for swearing and stuff but I am really freaked out as this day gets closer. Please, someone, is starting to work again like this for everyone or am I just a bloody defect. Sorry to rant but I needed to do this Ginny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted October 28, 2004 Report Share Posted October 28, 2004 Ginny, Starting work is terrifing. I worked in a voluntary job for 2 years then they offered me a temp job doing the same as what i was doing voluntary. I was terrified really really terrified. So dont worry your not crazy and its not just u. Job went fine and i was pleased to get paid for a change. Still get scared when i am employed as a temp there and i been there 4 years now. Hope it goes well and take care Tory x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
em Posted October 28, 2004 Report Share Posted October 28, 2004 YOU WILL DO A GREAT JOB !!!!!! Once you get there everything will fall in to place and you will be wondering what the panic was for, you'll soon be how did i cope without this job???? It's totally normal to have fears and nerves before starting anything new. Take care Em xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newhope Posted October 28, 2004 Report Share Posted October 28, 2004 Hi Ginny Congratulation! Looking and finding a job is not always easy; specially a job that you know, you will love. - You should be proud of yourself for succeeding I also think that it is totally normal to have fears and anxieties in front of the unknown. If they offered you the job, it is because they think and feel that you are someone special. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted October 29, 2004 Report Share Posted October 29, 2004 I tried to think all that before starting my last 'walk out' job. I was so convinced i could handle it i wasn't even nervous on first day. Then i got there and it was all too much to handle and i just left. Ergo...i can understand your need for control and your fears and anxieties. Sounds like normal BPD stuff, or me stuff. Anyway. I am more posting a reply to say good luck and don't be me! Hope it all goes well, but if it doesn't i sure as hell won't judge you for it. Anyway. That's it. Thinking of you XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted October 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2004 Thanks guys, for replying to this rant I am really frightened but feel a bit better thanks to your support and encouragement ((((((((tory, newhope,em,claire))))))) Thanks so much Ginny :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacinta Posted October 30, 2004 Report Share Posted October 30, 2004 Hi Beautiful, You didn't tell me you were starting work again soon. Good on you! I might be a Newbie but haven't read a thread yet where someone has stressed out before doing something "work related"where it hasn't turned out really well. You WILL be fine. PM me if you want. Love, Jacinta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted October 30, 2004 Report Share Posted October 30, 2004 GINNY! YOU AINT CRAZY! Well not any crazier than I am anyway. Bitch get ya arse over to that job and knock em dead! You know you can, I know ya can. Cause if ya dont I am coming after ya with my big stick, I promise. And maybe I will stay a while.May be I better shut up or ya will make me stay I love ya missy you can do it, make us proud, and yaself thats more important. Love ya girly Wabbit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted October 30, 2004 Report Share Posted October 30, 2004 I think you are so brave, i havent got to that point yet of starting work again but the thought of it scares the hell out of me. Good luck and remember deep breaths flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angela Posted October 30, 2004 Report Share Posted October 30, 2004 Hi Ginny, I can completely understand that you are feeling so anxious about this new job. I think everyone, whether they have BPD or not gets nervous before starting something new, but I think we BPD'ers feel it more and get into much more of an anxiety state. I started a voluntary job a few weeks ago, just working in a teabar in a hospital, but I was so nervous. I found it too boring in the end and left. But I'm sure that if you are doing something you enjoy, this will act as fuel to make you determined to stick it out. Well done on getting the job. The only way you'll know if you are ready or not is to try it, as I'm sure you more than know. Good luck, let us know how it goes. Angela x x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunset Posted October 30, 2004 Report Share Posted October 30, 2004 Hi Ginny, well done for getting the job. I like the sound of making prescription specs and I do envy you for being able to do it. As you and the others have said no one likes change and I know it can be worse for us. But hey give it a try, if it gets too much you can leave----- at least you wil have tried. Good luck Juaier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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