This Place Is Pissing Me Off.......

[brassed2bits]

I have replied to some posts this week, and instead of patting people on the back who sound in real crap places, I have tried to give some positive strokes and encouragement, and a few small things to do that I have learnt recently that might help in those awful moments of total despair.

(read posts that I have written on in the last 3 / 4 days)

Do you all know something; those posts will be easy to find ; they are the ones with only a handful of replies from a few brave people who are open to the fact that they may be able to do something to help themselves.

Seems to me we are all too capable of posting about how shit everything is, and either placating,agreeing or sympathising with others, to the extent of 30 or 40 posts. But, give a practical suggestion, or a small challange, no one is brave enough to take it on.

Maybe everyone is really quite happy where they are.

[Barebones]

i totaly agree

me off for drink and watch footie that keep me in good mood.

[orangesoup]

Thats a bit harsh. Some people are in really bad places, when even getting dressed becomes a chore. So even changing the smallest thing can be a massive thing. It isn't about bravery, it is about being in a good enough place, on solid ground to be even thinking about making changes. To some a change no matter how small can push them over the edge. Just because people don't take on your suggestions doesn't give you the right to speak like that. And just because people don't take it on board now, doesn't mean that they won't in the future.

And you say maybe people are happy where they are. Well that is obviously not true. But for me(I can't speak for anyone else here), I am scared of making changes, scared in the long run of being well, because I have been ill for so long it is safe, I know where I am, where I am may not be good...But at least I know it well.

[Vorpalblade]

Brassed, some people in here are quite content in their pity pots, but that is their choice. is it really up to us to point htat out to htem? or should we let them realise it for themselves?

i spent a few months couple of years ago whallowing in self pity, then i realised that it was getting me nowehere and i sorted myself out, slowly.

of course every now and again i want some pity, that is natural, we all need attention

Blade

[brassed2bits]

THERE ... thought that would get your attention.....

I want to say that I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS ... I AM ONE OF YOU REMEMBER.

I find it hard to get out of bed, but the days I do are definatel better than the ones when I don't.

Everyone seems so keen to get their therapists views and help, and will go to lengths to see them.

But what do these people actually know about how it FEELS to be us?????

Nothing. I asked if my T had every self harmed? ... she looked amazed and said of course not.

How on earth can she know then, I mean really know.

I AM ONE OF YOU ....

[pip]

Sorry Brassed2Bits

I answer peoples posts who are sad

I do this to let them know they have support

and that they aren't alone.

I do read other posts - but I don't always know what to say.

I am sorry if you feel your posts are being ignored

Just cos people don't answer doesn't mean they don't read.

I live alone, with little human contact

Change can be hard.

I am trying to get better,

I sort of have a routine.

I go to pottery

I try to post instead of thinking

I reckon,If I don't think I won't go down.

Yes I know I take things too personally

that is me at the moment

I am in a fragile, lonely place.

If I think I have supported someone

I feel better

I think that is positive

Small steps yes - but in the right direction.

I am not ready for leaps.

I hope this explains your few responses

- from me anyway

Pip

x

[brassed2bits]

Pip ... my heart goes out to you.

You sound in such a shit place, and I have read your posts recently, so I understand a bit.

You have every reason and right to feel as you do.

I am sure you know that in the end, when you are on your own, with no one around, that only you really have the power to change things for you.

You maybe can't change other people, but you can learn to change your reactions to people.

Sometimes we all need to stick our heads above the duvet, just to remind us there is another world out there.

Keep safe :P

[orangesoup]

Even if people only post about how hard things are, and how bad a time they are having, and maybe to wallow a bit...That is still a positive thing to do, as it takes some of your worries from being internal and locked away, to external and open for other people to try and help.

So it may seem that people are taking no positive steps and only wallowing....But in wallowing openly that is a positive step in itself, even if it's only a small one.

[poodle]

Brassed,

just wanted to say that I understand what you are saying, and i see where you are coming from!!

Poodle x

[pip]

Believe it or not

- I do ocassionally come out of hiding.

I have forced myself to go places and do stuff.

I usually end up with panic attacks.

I went to the beach (a favourite haunt)

and met an old friend - she said we would get back in touch

as she lives here now

I was so happy.

I have phoned her twice - no plans to meet

It just reinforces my feelings of rejection

I am trying not to think about her.

I suppose there is another world

- I am frightened of it.

I know I sound like I am wallowing

In reality I am trying to cope

and wondering how I will cope tomorrow

This is a shit reply- sorry

Pip

x

[brassed2bits]

pip ... stop saying sorry!!!

All your replies are valuable and you have no need to apologise.

Listen to those of us that encourage you and take it on board ......

[pip]

OK

I am trying to be positive

well - more positive.

Peoples responses do help me,

but mainly I write to get it out of my system

- not for pity

Pip

x

[JTBadBug]

THERE ... thought that would get your attention.....

I want to say that I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS ... I AM ONE OF YOU REMEMBER.

I find it hard to get out of bed, but the days I do are definatel better than the ones when I don't.

Everyone seems so keen to get their therapists views and help, and will go to lengths to see them.

But what do these people actually know about how it FEELS to be us?????

Nothing. I asked if my T had every self harmed? ... she looked amazed and said of course not.

How on earth can she know then, I mean really know.

I AM ONE OF YOU ....

Hi B2b,

I would just like to say.....you should understand the therapists issue....I don't have a therapist at the moment, but, I have had in the past.....and I thinks its all about the illusion of being accepted by a person in authority.....like doctors....or therapists.....or police.......staff here....managers....teachers.... well it is for me. I don't know the driving force but the controlling force required to keep it in check can be mega. It does my head in at times, I can be so normal but then get so desperate for attention off someone specific authoritarian that I have been in contact with at the time that I get stuck in a single, virtually uncontrollable, lane. I really hope it makes sense to others on here.

Support here though IS different....it is invisible on a screen in front of our eyes....sometimes flesh is required.

I am not sure if I have said anything useful, so, on this note and before I embarrass my self any further, I shall shut up and leave you all in peace.

Take care, Jane

Good challenging topic though.....now....."off with your head" :P

[jai]

i know for me that here is like a life line at times and at others , on my better days its good to be able to share and try to comfort others...

i suppose we are here, cos there are plenty of folk out there telling us to buck up and get on with life...but i have nt yet worked out how to overcome the all consuming feelings that lead to the self harming , the suicide attempts and the feelings of alienation we all encounter, that is where our therapists come in.

it is true there is some good advice here but i just think this is the place we can all say what we find impossible to share with anyone who does nt have this and genuinly does nt understand, maybe that is why the weight of the posts are about how fucking terrible we all feel...

i try really hard to post on my good days to reflect that they come and to help others feel a bit better..

but in truth that hole we get in is pretty big at times and our good days must seem like a torch in the distance

sorry brassed, i hear you and i wish we were all that bit more able to take on everything that would help us..

ill keep reading and trying though if youll keep posting

jai

x

[Snipes]

Hello Posters

I am Pritty much from Jopo's Point of view from what i have noticed myself a person has to somewhat want to get better before they will even give it a 2nd thought.

And also how many people " Just out of Curiosity " are getting better of there own accord and are not doing it because they feel obligated by someone around them.

Last year staying at a Comunal living house i had a taste of being better although slight and not complete it was still the most Common life i have ever lived. But also i was at my very worst in this time frame as well.

It would seem i have been on this merrigo round for some time now and nothing has truly helped i have allways made an effort. Witch is out of the norm for me. But all i am doing now is running against the Merrigo round itself.

I have kind of lost concentration, But we are probably one of the most neglected and rejected mental conditions out there, We are shunned by other people with mental disorders. That was one of the first things i heard when i went to live in this comunal house.

What do you have ? D,Pts,Bpd oh , Oh Bpd they give you that when they don't know what else to give you. I in no way any longer and allways did realise that if you want to seemingly get better you have to want it and do it yourself.

Realy thinking about it at this point in time i can truthfully say i do not want to get better, What am i getting better for, I don't want a family or anything like that. Self satisfaction self happyness maybe i get those somewhat both where i am now. And what would i be getting better for when you start to get the idea in your mind that you live your life with certain goals and a lust a compulsion to forfill them.

Only too find out when you get to where you finally want to be there is nothing and the only real pleasure was in the intense wanting. This is bit of a shotgun effect at trying to provide at all a seemingly half decent responce to the original question. But i suppose at the end of it you will draw your own conclusions if you have wanted to even read this far.

Sorry i could not provide somthing more substantial my mind is a bit : s

Thanks

Snipes

[Tabitha]

I think it is important to challenge each other and ourselves, the most helpful posts are where people question and empathise. Some people aren't ready for that, and that is where they are, but sympathy don't move people forward, we can all empathise what it is like to be in the thick of it without giving it space to grow and for people to get comfortable in a sick role. Bad things have happened to us all, but we chose to be a victim or a survivor, but maybe its my bloody minded streak that keeps me fighting Hope this isn't harsh either luv Tabi

[Betsy]

this is great. this is wonderful. this has been eating at me for 3 days.

i struggle too. and i recognize at this point in my life i am a lot more comfortable with myself than i have been in a long time. but for me, if i just give someone a hug, which i do occassionally, it is because i can't think of one single thing that might help them. that isn't to say that there isn't something out there that would help.. but i can't think of it. so... i spend quite a lot of thought trying to be supportive and empathizing and i get frustrated when no one says thanks or i will consider it later, or yeah maybe i will try doing that and comes on the next day and said that didn't help at all. if all we need is a hug.. well maybe a hug site would be better with random.. god thats shit thrown in. but i don't think of you guys that way. i see so much potential going to waste.. so much life passing you by and i know that i can' do it. that really is okay.. the frustration comes when i don't think you want to do it. and i am not talking about one day at a time but for weeks on end. i can't say that i won't be where you are at tomorrow.. or later tonight.. or next week... i just want to help and have been frustrated with that.

and my gosh you have all made me so proud to know you. each of you including brassed have taken this post and really tried to think, and answer, and relate..i think that is awesome.

i have been bad down the last couple of weeks.. off and on... and was losing hope as one after another of you camped in crisis and no one came out. maybe i am not fit to support the site.. but i want to support you guys so bad. like brassed I KNOW.. ok not everything.. but i know some pain some of you haven't mentioned. so i do know.

brassed, and other fellow community members.. say what you will after this post but i am glad, and feel mentally lighter for having been given this forum.. with you people to say it in.

thanks all

bets

[Tabitha]

Betsy its good to know that you are there, that you too struggle, but you always give good advice and i for one appreciate advice and constructive critism direction, peoples personal experiences. I am really struggling, but i know i am a fighter, i sure wouldn't be here otherwise. infact selfharm, dissociation, eatingdisorders whatever are ways of surviving death, without that i would not have survived the kind of life i've had, but there comes a time when it don't work and you have to face the truth and not hide behind the illness or lablel and the only way to do that is to challenge yourself and be challenged and make changes. i know change can happen, i spent 4yrs detained on section, without insight. i now have insight and it hurts like hell, but ican do something to make changes and not be a victim, staying a victim gives abusers the control the want, the best revenge is recovery and that comes with the price of years of denial. But without people like you, we wouldn't have forums like this. So i dare to go where angels fear to tread if it saves lives, and thank you for the work you do it is appreciated and for the brave person who started this thread as the negetivity was getting to me and frustrating, any small step forward is a step to a different future. Remind me of this when i next want to throw the towel in. thanks Tabi

[Snipes]

Hello

I don't know what my Abuser is doing maybe he is dead or something i sure as hell hope he dosen't know what i am doing :s. I spent some time trying to get somewhat better and i did at least i thought i did.

But all i can end up noticing is the same old mild nervous anxcious up's and the suicidal selfharm ridled lows. At this point in time where i am now feels some what safe until i am ready to try again or die.

I am never exactly doing 100% of one or the other anyway it's hard to tell what i am doing half the time as most of my life resides in what people can't see.

"What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome."

Friedrich Nietzsche, The Antichrist, section 2

German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

[brassed2bits]

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hoooooooooooooooooooooooooRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally feel as if people are stepping out of their holes and peeping over the top a bit!!!!!

It is nice to hear each and every one of you responding in a open manner to this post and acknowledging that things could be different.

You all sound like totally diffeent people when you talk like that.

And that is just what I mean ...... generally what you give out, you get back.

Share a frown, you get a frown back. Share a smile, no matter HOW HARD it is to force yourself to smile, but share it, and you get a smile back. AND THAT CAN ONLY LIFT YOU.

Try it .... smile at someone today, and see what you get back.

Come on guys ............... keep it coming!!!!!!!!!!

[Vorpalblade]

:) << my first smile of the day

[brassed2bits]

Thanks blade, I am smiling back at you

Also, Betsy, thanks for yor post. I was starting to feel as though I was the only person here who had to have hope.

I was getting more and more depressed after coming on and seeing how much sadness was on here.

I think you are fab ... you give out positiveness and sensible ideas, and practical thoughts.

Not always easy to act on I know, but at least it is looking for an option other than falling further into that perpetual black hole.

Keep strong

[Selene]

this maybe a little of topic but maybe it isn't...

i normally only post when i have a probablem. as i am self concious about what i say and am worried what people wil think of it. i do read around though and quite often type out a reply but cant get up the guts to post it.... fingers crossed i manage to post this one....

[orangesoup]

If this place is getting you down so much then maybe you should re-evaluate your position here.

So people didn't listen to you, or felt unable to take your advice. So start a thread that is bound to get people's attention, shout a bit, and you think you have waved some magic wand and everyone feels a little better for it. Course some people are going to agree with you. But I can bet that the people who don't agree with you are too scared to say so, and feel attacked by this.

Well I for one don't feel any better...Most of us know how to make ourselfs feel better. We know the techniques to try and help ourselfs out of ruts. But if we are not using them, then there may well be a good reason for it. When I'm at my worst, which is quite a frequent thing, I struggle to do the most basic of things, never mind come on here, and get told off for surviving in any way I know how. Most of us struggle to keep ourselfs out of a place so dark that suicide seems the only option.

You have ignored both of my replies to this topic, so I guess I don't really expect a response.

[Betsy]

jopo.. are you talking to me? or are you talking to brassed?

i will respond if you are addressing me.

bets