Tabitha Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 ikle wanta senda rainbow she likes culours. i like paint um when it black inside it opens up the hart and lite coms in threw the top of her head to tip of toes then the lite makes black better. i got a magic rainbow scarf i can fly it like a kite for abbey so she can see rainbow and feel warm culor and lite in her heart, then she will be a real rainbow too. ikle is sad but rainbows make her happy so she loved then,she gotta big hart and very good on offer while stocks last, limmited edisun. she will make abbey smile she warm like hot toast everyone loves her but then go away she gets in poples harts she a litle hart breaker and maker she want abbey hart to mend she good at tricks she will fly her scarf today for abbey, put it in abbey heart so she has colur not black ikle goin now by sara can i be ure frend too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 ikle you sound so sweet.. Abby is very depressed and hiding. I will tell her you sent her a rainbow. I love new friends. Sara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 SaraPlease tell Abby we are here for herPipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 Pip so sweet and wonderful as usual. Perhaps you can do me a favour? Can you tell me why some of the supposedly moderators etc... ignore Abby's plea? If I understood that they are just busy or don't understand or are frightened, it will be of help. But you are always there. We shall be gone for a while. Going to regroup shall I say. Luv to all.Sara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 SaraI don't know what the moderators do.but I am for for you all.Please don't leave us.Please keep on posting - all of youYou are just as nice as Abby and I want you all to be happy.I would really miss you if you weren't herelots and lots of lovePipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabitha Posted July 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 me too me got pain in my heart and i want get to no abbey n sara because we are lost inside the body we share and now we no we there it hard n want frends that have grown iside like a secret hide out its dark in here alone. TABI AND JANE are very unhappy and gone stiff they stuck had bad news and they cant cope. ikle bin tryin with rainbows but tonight she cried she doesn't want to b a Harlow monkey who runs back to wire mummy n grts shocks not love. we all bin shocked and no what it like when your soul dies, we no abbey in pain we can share her pain, we have big hart so please don't go. we scared tonight don't go we want to no you. re group big ones up front no arguing and find the best one 2 hold abbey and best one to speak for her we will b looking 4 u big hug a biggerone age9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 as a "supposed moderator" i reply when i can. general i reply to the host person. i am not required to respond to any post and if you have any issues or complaints, with or about, me please send a ticket in to my supervisor and they will answer and deal with me properly.thxsupposedly bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wisdom Posted July 8, 2006 Report Share Posted July 8, 2006 In my opinion the moderators do as well as they can. Like myself it becomes confusing when supporting someone with did when their presentation is fragmented, whether it be via telephone/internet/face to face. Generally the safest/effective way to support someone with did with active splitting is to refer them to an emergency services hot-line to assess for suicidally (all parts). I have seen tragic consequences with someone w/ did ........... I don't think anyone wants to go down that road.I'm not quite as to why a non-professional moderator should be required to communicate to all....parts alters/host . They really are not professionals. Aren't we supposed to be giving each other support? In my opinion both the owner and the moderators and staff are undervalued. I tip my hat to the both of them. Thank you guys for making a safe place for those (me) with mental illness can find peer support. Wisdom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aylaah Posted July 8, 2006 Report Share Posted July 8, 2006 please let me know if I have missed something? You can PM me if you prefer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Its Abby,I am back. Sorry you moderators, Betsy in particular, took what was written so personally. I think it was more of am I a problem question, or do you not like me. I have nothing but repect and admiration for you guys. Please accept my apology, my parts just try to look out for me.Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eva* Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 It's good to see you back, Abby. Sara seemed to be very nice and she sounded like she could look after you quite well. Still glad that you felt safe enough to come out again.HugsEva Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Eva thanks. It has been, I don't know what to say. I am lost. Very lost and this place is grounding somewhat for me. Thanks I am still numb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabitha Posted July 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Glad your back we been thinking of you sara met ikle Tabi having bad time to just keep posting we here for you luv Tabi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aylaah Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 don't feel the need to apologise Abby, I was just checking I hadn't missed anything, was worried I did and wanted you to let me know if there was - same as always, feel free to PM me to ask any questions ok? Anything you need to know!And I can only speak for myself, but you're no problem at all :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 as a "supposed moderator" i reply when i can. general i reply to the host person. i am not required to respond to any post and if you have any issues or complaints, with or about, me please send a ticket in to my supervisor and they will answer and deal with me properly.thxsupposedly betsBETSY IS A STAR!!!Pipx--------------------If i wake up above the dirt it is a good day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Pip I already feel bad am I suppose to feel worse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Pip I already feel bad am I suppose to feel worse?Pip I already feel bad am I suppose to feel worse?Pip I already feel bad am I suppose to feel worse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wisdom Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 Hey pipI'm not sure if I understand your last posting.txom mani peme hung Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 abby..don't feel bad because of me. i respond to you when it is posted under your name. whether i am right or wrong it is how i am. i recognize that you have "parts" that don't feel like you, but to me i don't have a relationship with them.. i have a relationship with you.if you prefer i dont respond i can do that.i did get upset. sorry if that upset you. i care about everyone here and just try to do my best... i am not a professional. i won;t respond as a professional would.but i am a moderator, i am not a supposed moderator, i spend my time here so that i can help when i can, and so that i can get help thru everyone else. and yes i am the particular one that took offense, because i answer more posts than anyone else.my view of you may not be correct but it is my view. everyone on here, pieces, parts, innerchildren and all are responsible for the safety of everyone else. that means supporting and i hope if there is a problem being direct in talking about it.this has turned into a ramble .. sorry for that as i seem to have lost where i am going.. but i do care.. i care about you as one person. maybe that is inadequate but it is the best i can do.bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 Betsy,I understand and respect that you see all of us parts as one, but I don't and I am working on getting there. It is hard to find things in your home, hear things that you said, read things that you wrote, act in a strange way and swear it is not you but still be held responsible for it. It is a hard way to be. The person that I think I am is not the one that flirts, or is smart, or is mean and on and on. How can that all be me? All I know is that I desperately need acceptance and a place to vent. I have great respect for you because you do post alot. I am sorry that one of my parts seemed harsh but I often feel left out here but that is my own choice. This is BPD world not DID world, I just like the people here. Now I am rambling..... Thanks always for your feedback. I /we are all super sensitive... what else can I say? I need help and am trying to fix me. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabitha Posted July 10, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 Abbey i really understand the confusion between parts and that on the outside we are one person, but in our mind there are splits between thinking, acting and memory which makes it difficult to be resposible for a slit off part that once the state has switched you have no memory of just evidence like the upside down flat. I guess this is the difference between the dissociation in BPD where the person so splits between 'body' and 'self' and multiple where in a traumatic situation the mind is triggered and the whole personality switches, so Abby is not present she is now state x that deals with threatening situation, so that state takes resposibility and the problem is that some of those states have learnt to re enact abuse so become abuser to self or allow themselves to be taken advantage of because that was how we survived. We do own all parts, but we can only becomes totally responsible when both parts are in the conscoius mind. Fuck this sound confusing, so this is why we are confused . my old consultant would entertain contact with my abusive state that re enacted abuse on child, he said i had to do everything in my conscious power to not slip into this state by learning what triggers it. i think this is the responsibility we as the host can take. SHIT has this boggled your brain or mine? Glad you are back and really hope you can keep talking, i feel isolated too and panic im not accepted because im DID, but i really want to get to know you and support if i can luv Tabi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 Tabi,Such a wonderful textbook explaination of our world, yours and mine. But as you know taking responsiblity and becoming of one conscious mind is so hard. Sounds so simple when the shrinks tell you that is the goal. Its a different world to try to live it. Not that our world is any harder to cope with than the world of others here. I am just tired and want to give up. I just want to say "you win" to the abusers inside. I can't fight anymore. I just want to let them take over my mind like an alien I have been fighting all my life. OH well...talk toyou laterAbby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 AbbyI didnt want you to feel bad.but I didnt want Betsy to feeel bad eitherAs usual I screw up.I knew you weren't youand I thought Betsy would be upset.But in no way did I want you to feel badpromiseOK - I will be quietPipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 betsy can take care of herself... let's let this rest.i am not mad at abby nor do i think abby is mad at me.let this go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 OK - Sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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