Diagnosis

[spaghetti]

is it me or is it just a label that gives us the crutch to continue onwards???

Ok, i am the biggest bitch out - my behaviour at times is unacceptable and i accept that - but is a diagnosis or a label just a way of apportioning the blame to something else rather than at ourselves.

Is it just another method by the mental health establishment of control ?

Are they trying to control us ?

Or am I just paranoid ?

I am not trying to offend anyone or question their diagnosis as I know how

protective some of us are over our diagnosis .......but just wanted to see what others thought about it ???

Oh, and while I am here - starting to feel that this place is getting more like a private members club - where only certain familiar faces are accepted and replied to ( I dont mean the moderators or the owner, here though, ok )

Feel very isolated. Feel very low

[abbynormal]

Strange is just a different point of view. Who decides what is normal?

Abby

[mentalbpd1]

hey well im not sure its about control some people dont kinow for ages i think its sometimes can be good and then again its can be bad

me personally i was glad to know what the fuck was wrong so i could find the best way to help meself out and in some ways its a ppain and godsend

otherwise i would feel all of these things and wouldnt know why but at least i feel it gives me an edge to fight against.

but yes what is normal but if you think its a way of controling you i dont think this to be true but i can see your point in away.

are you receiving anyhelp of some kind or have the given you a diagnoses and left you too it????

anyway i really hope you feel better and if ya need a chat then im here as we all are and hang in there.

mental bpd

[poodle]

sorry you are feeling so isolated and low atm,

not sure about my diagnosis, mmmm. not sure what to think anymore.

my dad thinks this diagnosis is a kop out. he didn't elaborate on this though.

sending you gentle, caring hugs,

Poodle

xx

[Betsy]

most dx's exist for two purposes.

1) billing.. doc's cant bill if you dont have something.

2) to guide the treatment plan.

my oppion,

join the club you are getting lots of answers

[samsung]

spagetthi...

my docs told me i have bpd and left me.

gave no explanaition or nothing.

that was it.

but later on when i learned more about it. i realised, they are describing me.

maybe it is in a way for me better to know that i am not fucked up as parsay but that it is an illness that you get because of certain happenings.

at first i felt it was the biggest shame.. but realised that i didnt cause it.

[jai]

(((((Spaghetti)))))

sowwy you feel isolated and alone..on the dx front , well i m not much on thoughts just now...

but am here and read your post, if i think of something to add i will

love

jai

x

[realscape]

Hi Spaghetti

Labels and diagnoses are spurious in my opinion. I read a lot about this because it is of great interest to me. Some people think psychiatric dx are social control, others think they are an indication of western science methods 'witch-hunting' alternative consciousnesses, others think they are part of drug company and psychiatric western medicine global money making machine and a polictical tool, others think that psychiatry itself is a complete myth. Some people think that psychiatrists are genuinely trying to help people by categorising our illnesses so that we can be best helped. Those people are normally not the people who have been labelled or diagnosed. As you can tell I am very cynical.

Anyway, my own personal experience, being diagnosed was an act of abuse in its own right as no-one told me that I was being diagnosed and I got an unexpected 20 page dx letter thru the post one week before xmas when I was alone, ill, and unsupported. I hoped that being diagnosed would bring me the right medication, the right therapy, or that it would 'feel' right and I would feel that I slotted in somewhere and that I would get a clearer understanding how I respond to thing. But it hasn't brought any of those things. In fact more confusion because I have only got 'features' of three PDs. All it has done is label me and give me a scary thing to go tell the dss if they want me to get a job. Which is good because I genuinely can't work. So the only benefit is dss benefits. In that sense a crutch I can wave to stop them making me work. But in another sense a bewildering non-understanding of what my problems are and suicidal thoughts because they seem unsolvable and so much more confusing than before.

I am contemplating whether to do some serious work on myself to let go of my dx, not identify myself with it and then move onto a new space in life. This may save me from total hopelessness. I don't know what others think. Sorry for rambling. I hope you're feeling OK.

[verntheconfused]

I sometimes wonder the same thing but I have no idea.

And I agree with you. Sometimes this place does feel very private. :(

[Miko]

Spaghetti and Realscape

We gotta embrace the good parts of diagnosis and treatment (if any) and ignore the rest and rise above it. A lot of it will prove irrelevant in time.

I don't get official support in my conditions yet except the pills I was fortunate to get for depression last week. I do a learning to succeed course which I enrolled myself on. If the opportunity arises there are one or two people that could help arrange help. If it doesn't well then.

Realscape I dig the user name, it sounds like the ambition you just stated.

[lie]

I do not know how about you but this makes me feel realy sad - most of your replies reflect the fact that there is some kind of a problem and noone seems to be able to locate it precisely. I am not so sure whether it is correct when your T leaves you when unveiling the diagnosis. It is horrible form my point of view but I do not know if I am wrong or right because this is maybe just one of my demons writing with my fingers.

[orangesoup]

I feel like they use it to try and put you in a box. Give you a label. Make sure that everyone knows you are a manipulative borderline and not to bother with you...After all they can't cure you!

Cynical...Me? Never!

[pip]

Spag and Vern

What do you mean about this being a club?

Can I join?

Pip

x

Although we are labelled, we should be treated according to our symptoms

[realscape]

Thanks Miko for the nice comments.

Regarding the manipulation bit, since my diagnosis all I ever get from the professionals is manipulation this and that. Its like as soon as you get the dx they write in big red letters all over your file "BEWARE this patient will manipulate you into doing things you don't really want to do". I am shocked at the shitty treatment I get since dx.

[lie]

I also cannot believe that they suddenly think that you manipulate.. My T cannot stop seeing me in this way. Do you ever manipulate on purpose? I do not think I do. I do not want to manipulate anyone when speaking with a low voice, it just happens because I am affraid..

My other councellor has told me that manipulation is something that everyone does and that it happens on a regular basis. Wouldn´t you smile on a salesperson if you wanted to get good cloths? - was the example she gave me and I have forgotten the message :-)

[pip]

I know what you mean

-its a way of getting what we want

Everyone does it

They just can blame our BPD

Pip

x

[realscape]

Having got two parents who use emotional blackmail, coercion, manipulation, and basically ALL forms of non-direct communication in order to gain total control, I am completely against manipulation in the 'bad' sense. This truthfulness of mine has resulted in me being called confrontational, aggressive, blunt, too honest, too open, etc, and then....suddenly....post diagnosis......no matter how 'assertive' or clear I am in my communication....in the context of coming into contact with med professionals, I'm being manipulative. ALL THE TIME! This was never ever an issue prior to me getting diagnosed.

When you go thru what we did as kids, you don't ever want to make anyone feel like they've been abused or manipulated into a situation. Obviously, if emotional blackmail and manipulation is the 'language' of your family, it takes a bit of insight and breaking the pattern to happen. But its just so f*cking insulting to me and so annoying I could scream and shout and smash their faces in but that would be manipulating them, not violently assaulting them.

[pip]

Spot on Real!!!!!!!!

[lie]

Same case here - having had a very manipulative mother, I have allways tried to avoid it. It assaults me and surprises me. maybe i need more distance to me... ;)

[Miko]

I do not know how about you but this makes me feel realy sad - most of your replies reflect the fact that there is some kind of a problem and noone seems to be able to locate it precisely. I am not so sure whether it is correct when your T leaves you when unveiling the diagnosis. It is horrible form my point of view but I do not know if I am wrong or right because

'Lie',

In 5 days intensively reading this forum which I joined for my depression and not being in the 'mental illness system' but having got my dose from my GP and not having been 'borderlined' I came to the same conclusion which you have come to from your experience. You are right.

The same conclusion has also been reached by most of the 'borderlined' here - usually stated less clearly - though there is a very small number who were treated well.

The 'borderline' concept is a negative one almost always practised by negative minded people.

You must minimise your contact with that milieu and confine it to what is most constructive. That is my opinion. Exercise tact and discretion about the details of your life and don't give the full details. Some of these practitioners are not evil, they are misled and if you spend the whole appointment on your problems they overload themselves and there isn't enough time talked about positive solutions. (I saw it happen to a family member very similarly)

I did get called Narcissistic by one 'expert' for blowing my own trumpet. I blow my trumpet in a clunky way because I am autistic, so what?

All that 'borderline' is really, from what I have worked out in the last 5 days, is depression with a habit of going into panic attacks thrown in. These ought to be treated as such.

Ask for an antidepressant drug and keep asking till it suits you (including dosage) and get PALS to back you up. We need to educate and train ourselves out of our panic attacks. I go to a Learning To Succeed course about that, and also the Expert Patient Programme Self-management course contains that element.

A package deal has been created called 'borderline' but like all package deals one needs to consider whether one only needs to buy into specific parts. Don't advertise that is what you are doing - just adjust your emphasis unannounced ... (is my idea and as I say it's easy for me to have these ideas as I am outside the 'system')

[Leslie]

I think that all these symptoms, all this insanity must have a name not just craziness like some people like to call us.

For me it was good that after almost 25 years of bumping from one doctor to another as they called me deppresed, paranoid, bipolar, drugaddict, or whatever, my symptoms all together had a name and with that I could understand myself a little better and keep the therapy I received...

wish I have the same opportunity now....

Take care,

Leslie

[pip]

All that 'borderline' is really, from what I have worked out in the last 5 days, is depression with a habit of going into panic attacks thrown in. These ought to be treated as such.

I dispute the above.

Read any pyschology book or refer to the dsmIV

or even a GP, never mind a Pdoc.

I find the above an insult.

If that is how you really feel then don't be condescending to us

- go elsewhere

Pip

[spaghetti]

Thanks everyone - it is great to get such a varied response from peeps - it just goes to show just how individual yet confused alot of us are.

Pip it saddens me to see you being confrontational with someone when all they offer is an alternative theory. It is a theory that the challenges the norm but it belongs to someone at this moment in time. I think they are trying to work things out for themselves and i would never think that was a bad thin.

Hope you dont mind. I dont mean to offend anyone.

I am still confused, only more so.

xxx

[pip]

They are not offering a theory

They are dismissing BPD

They don't have BPD

and aren't working anything out.

They are being patronizing

Pip

x

[Eva*]

Hi Spaghetti,

I'm sorry you're feeling isolated. I guess I'm one of the people who made you feel like that. I'm sorry. The thing is that I'm not feeling great and there are so many new members at once that I just can't react to many of them. Close to none. I'm scared of new people and they make me insecure. I know that some others feel the same. We don't want to exclude anyone but it's just an unfortunate situation that so many newbies came at once. There used to be a forum especially for newbies to get into the site before facing this'club' of people who already formed attachments to each other.

I'm sure that if you give it time, you'll be accepted and liked like the others. No one of us came here and was member of the club in a few days. There was a lot of insecurity to get through to feel safe here for me but now I do feel pretty safe.

I really hope you've got the patience with us to find your way into the 'club' as you call it. Look at how long most of the active members have been here and you'll see that most of us only joined months ago. Just give it a few weeks.

I wish I could promise that I'd be way more welcoming from now on but I'm very anxious these days and I'm glad for the few people that really know me here. I don't want to risk being hurt by new members. I'm sorry.

Now I've read one of your threads though and a few more and I'll like you

Eva