Hi Everyone

[InnerPeace]

:) Hi everyone...another newbie here!

To be honest, I feel a bit of a fraud. I know other people suffer so much more badly from BPD than I do but I know it's a disorder that I do suffer from. I haven't been officially diagnosed...I have a friend who is a Clinical Psychologist and she recognised it in me.

I always thought I was just a horrible person, made to feel that I was simply being difficult and intentionally out to make a nuisance of myself and hurt people. I'm kind of upset and relieved at he same time to know that the I think and act is a known disorder and shared by many.

I feel sorry for my long suffering ex-husband, I spent our many years of being together thinking I was being completely rational and that it was him that was wrong...the guy deserves a medal for putting up with me! It was me who left the marriage and since then I've gone down the spiritual route, found a lot of answers to my questions, had lots of complementary therapy and trained as an energy healer myself. I started seeing a guy last year who I later found out is Bi-polar, although I think he is quite strongly BPD too. We haven't seen that much of each other as he lives far away but we do chat and I don't know if it's possible for two people with BPD to have a relationship without constantly triggering each other, but I hope one day we will do.

Last year (before I knew this guy's history) I started to take counselling training. It has been such an eye opener for me and so so helpful...much more so than actual counselling I've had in the past. I now recognise when I'm going off the wall but it still really annoys me how I can be elated one minute and deeply depressed the next when nothing has actually changed around me.

One book has really helped me too...it's about learning self-acceptance and acceptance of others, recognising triggers and learning to love unconditionally, it's called Setting Your Heart on fire by Raphael Cushnir, in case anyone is interested.

Wow this has been a really long intro...hope you all hung in there! Look forward to sharing and learning lots with all you.

x

[pip]

I always thought I was just a horrible person, made to feel that I was simply being difficult and intentionally out to make a nuisance of myself and hurt people.

Me too.

Will check out your book

Welcome to the site.

It is a lifesaver

Pip

x

[InnerPeace]

Thanks ever so much for the warm welcome...I feel at home already!

[allpsychedout]

Hi, and welcome! I've only been around a short time here, myself. This is quite a place...I hope you like it here.

After reading your post, and knowing a few little things about what I've been through for years, now, I can say that often, a type of bipolar can certainly coexist with some BPD. Labels are only labels and I frequently am amused by them. Pain is pain, though, regardless of what we call it.

Are you still studying, to be a counselor? People who have been through this business and become 'better' can make wonderful therapists, provided they can learn how to cope with others' pain! (I planned to go that route myself, when I was forced to give up my music career, but got counselled out of trying to do it. I regret listening to that psychologist, now.)

Maybe, I have no right to say this, but I feel there ARE a few little things about some BPD symptoms, which can actually be 'good' for something. I mean, it has made me incredibly empathetic...and I have been that way, since I was very small. And, I'm a firm believer, that two people with BPD or even bipolar characteristics can absolutely have a good relationship, provided both are 'aware' and try for that empathy. (Some have too much of it and some have none of it, or so the so-called 'experts' say...) So, I see no reason why you and the man you are interested in, cannot make a 'go' of it if each of you is willing to truly learn about each other's hearts, so to speak.

I'd be most interested, to learn more about your spirituality interests, etc (yes, I looked at your profile, there...). The whole subject fascinates me, although I feel I have no real abilities in the field.

allpsychedout

[InnerPeace]

Hi allpsychedout and thank you. I am still doing my counselling training...I did a 3 month Introduction to Counselling and now the Certificate in Counselling which lasts a year - I finish in November.

The best way to know if you being Counsellor is right for you is to try out an introductory course, you'll soon know how you feel when other people open up and share their experiences. Empathy is a key skill of a counsellor and it is possible, and also necessary, to remain detached at the same time so that your client's issues remain their's and you don't lose yourself in them. I think if you feel you have an interest in Counselling that it's really important that you be true to yourself and go with that feeling...I'm amazed a psychologist would talk you out of it...you have nothing to lose, can always leave, and I'm sure there are short introductory courses you can join that would fit around your other commitments and give you feel as to whether it's right for you. How dare anyone tell you that they know better than you what is or isn't right for you...that is so disempowering!

As for my spirituality...I don't know where I start..i guess the beginning! I grew up in a household of mediums, psychics and healers, so for me to be the same was just natural. I was iniated into reiki level 1, got into crystals, development my intuition with the help of a great friend who also gave me the most incredible healing...he just my baseline from apathetic and depressed to happy in a matter of hours, when I got home I caught my reflection in the mirror and I smiled at myself...that was huge!! I've had/having soulmate relationships, I took a 2 year course in spiritual healing, learnt how to do Indian head massage and all together increasing my connection with the Universe and working on my growth and development.

By all means feel free to chat with me if you have aim or aol. You may have more ability than you realise...we can always develop further.

Thanks for giving me the vote of confidence with my current 'sort of relationship'...it's a challenge for both of us!

[Vorpalblade]

welcome to the group

am sure you will like it here

love

Blade

[pip]

I also tried the crystal route

I always wear one

for inner peace (or somrthing)

Please excuse my ignorance

Pip

x

[Betsy]

welcome innerpeace,

i love your name. you will find lots of nice ppl here to chat and post with. thanks for joining us.

bets

[InnerPeace]

Thank you everyone.

Don't worry Pip, you weren't being ignorant at, crystals are great for helping us find inner peace as well as all sorts of other benefits.

[pip]

Don't worry Pip, you weren't being ignorant at, crystals are great for helping us find inner peace as well as all sorts of other benefits

I'm so glad you think so.

I always wear one.

I think it helps

You are a star!

Pip

x

Don't worry Pip, you weren't being ignorant at, crystals are great for helping us find inner peace as well as all sorts of other benefits

I'm so glad you think so.

I always wear one.

I think it helps

You are a star!

Pip

x

[Barebones]

welcome

[jai]

hello innerpeace

and welcome

jai

[rosehip333]

hi innerpeace and welcome to this site , hope you will find everyone friendly and supportive here look forward to reading more of your posts, take care rosehip xxx

[dolphin]

welcome to the site

[Martin]

Welcome!!!

Spliffy

[orangesoup]

Hi and

Hope you find the support here you are looking for! :)

[samsung]

Welcome!!!!

[babic1]

I managed to hang in there til the end, trust me ive read longer posts then that before in my time, at least i know i dont have an attention defecit disorder or something lol to add to the mix.

I'm really glad you found us here and i hope that you are feeling more comfortable within yourself now that you have soe sort of explanation for why you are who you are.

Take soem time to let yourself fit in here and im sure you will feel just at home and able to come here for supprt with just about anything!

Take care- Babsxx

[InnerPeace]

Thank you so much Babs, and everyone for welcoming me.

I always feel apologetic for what I think is writing or saying too much...those deep seated insecurities of mine that people don't really want to hear what I have to say are really hard to shift!

I still feel very new but am enjoying being here with all of you, thank you.

x

[drew]

:welcomeani: :D

[drann]

Welcome innerpeace, hope you find as much understanding as support here as I have so far...

I think we would make the best psychiatrists/psychologists/counsellors/social workers, and anyone who says otherwise is just being a priggish know-it-all

Provided we're survivors, of course. I believe it's pretty important to cure urself before curing anyone else, as your own weaknesses could cripple whoever you're trying to help.

Just my two-sense.....

Love all,

Ann

[mrs tree]

:welcomeani:

Mrs Tree

[InnerPeace]

Thank you everyone for the welcomes.

Drann...yes you're right...and you find the counsellors and therapists quite often are survivors in the area that they specialise in, it means that they can relate to their clients and really help them move forward.

No counsellor is going to be completely free from past baggage though...not unless they reach enlightenment like Buddha for example...but yes, they do have to be sorted enough to be effective and not a danger to others.

The training I'm receiving started with an introductory course that anyone could take but getting on to the certificate course that I'm on now involved an interview and recommendation from the tutor on my introdction course. There were people who wanted to go on but really had too much going on for them to be allowed onto the next course. They don't mind you having issues...we all have them...it's how you're dealing with them that matters. The entire course involves sharing are stuff, learning theories and discovering things about ourselves and we do mock counselling sessions with each other every week for practical training. When it comes to the next stage, the diploma, we have to have so many hours professional counselling ourselves.

I am really enjoying the course and finding I'm learning and addressing more about myself than when I was receiving counselling...but that isn't a recommendation that we should all run off and start training!

[drann]

Yeah I heard about that...in fact that was one of the most attractive things about psychiatry for me...the idea that I would be subjected to intense psychoanalysis

Glad to hear you're enjoying your work.