lilmissy Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 hi im 36 an a mum of 2 lovely girls, who dont deserve me as a mum , i was abused by my mums friend an then by my 2 brothers, i was a troubled teenager who tried to escape from life by lots of ways, drinking , smoking and getting high on anything i could get , i have struggled for yrs to come to terms with my abuse an didnt see myself as a victim for a long time, (i blotted it out ) i think i am just hanging on by a thread, most days i sit an stare into space trying to find some peace i cant get out of bed an cant sleep when im in bed, i have nightmares an flashbacks, i dont like anybody near me an cant cope with people so have basically cut myself off from all my friends, i dont want to go out as im not sure who i am anymore im trying not to cry but its so hard to live, i want to curl up in a little ball an dissapear i hate my life i hate me an i hate what happened to me, how can i get through this when everyday is a struggle an i just want to end it,,,i have just started to see a counsillor but i cant talk , i cant get the words out an find myself sitting crying an holding my hand over my mouth how can i get better if i cant speak...? im desperate to leave my body an find peace.... :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Good job, lilmissy, I knew you could do it!! The hardest part is over. Now you can relax and wait for members to come to you, and they will. I can see that you are sincerely hurting and want feedback, direction, clues as to what works for others. You came to the right place. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you better. Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Hi , Welcome to site. Ur intro is fine, i knew u could do it! It will get easier to talk to counsellor with time, trust needs to b built. I hope u feel better soon. Take care Tory x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claudine Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 lilmissy, You're really at a beggining, not an end. The toughest part is over! It's still a difficult path, but you're going the right way! I've felt the same and was told something similar. I didn't believe it for a second. But I was wrong. Hang in there, you've discovered a wonderful place. c Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunset Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Lilmissy Well done for getting here. I know what you mean when you say you can't speak.I was the same as you.I hadn't told anyone for years about my problems and found it really difficult to start. But believe me talking will get easier, and as it does you will feel better unloading yourself. Try to be kind to yourself. We are here for you, and we are listening to you if you need us.Take your time and try not to push yourself too hard in your therapy. If you need to cry just let yourself cry ,it's been medically proven that tears are healing. The people here have been so kind and supportive to me. I'm sure you wil benefit too. Life can get better Lil so please try to look after youself. Look forward to hearing from you. Juaier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudyfox Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 lilmissy Welcome to the boards and well done on the intro. You'll find lots of support here. Cloudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpmonki Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 congrats for making it here. talking is hard but it does get easier their a great bunch of people on this site look forward to hearing from u soon. take care kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angela Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 Hi, Welcome, I'm sure you'll find a lot of support here. Angela x x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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