'growing Out' Of Bpd

[Barebones]

i was told this by my psyciatrist aswell. im not as bad as i was when first diagnosed, i had a spell that i was able to work and so on. then in my 30s it came back. but i seem to have more patience with myself and that. i do beleive though its up to the individual person to make this happen.

[pip]

(((BB)))

I think you are right.

We are all differennt

Pip

x

[MrsDerelictContent]

I feel strange when people say things about how it must be better to know you have BPD when you're young - because I don't see why it's any better.

Just because you recognise something earlier on, doesn't mean it's any less set in stone than it is ten, twenty or thirty years on.

I think the personality is developed by about 18 (varying between people). As BPD is a personality disorder, I don't think it makes a difference that there is a name for it, there is a distinct set of symptoms you can recognise, being able to group them together and label them can be helpful (as well as detrimental) but doesn't mean you suffer them any less, or that they can go away any more easily.

Just because I am young, it doesn't make treatment work any better, be it therapy or drugs.

I don't mind being put into the 'BPD' labelled box. I know I have all of the symptoms and I relate strongly to all of the literature. I admit that that is me, and I wont be offended by this diagnosis because I didn't choose it.

I'm struggling to accept the idea that I need to learn to manage the symptoms rather than being told I can make them go away.

I'm not sure that I will be able to handle fighting anxiety enough to have the sufficient skills I need to succeed in my life. And therefore I am very concerned about my future and the danger I could potentially be to myself when I finally take on board the things that I am being told.

As for the other things, I don't really want to think about it. :blahblah1:

[jai]

mrs dc

thanks for this thread, dont know whether to cry , start drinking again or just scream!

for me, i have enjoyed and i lie not only 6 years of stability in my life so far and i am 42....!!

i have not been able to hold down a job, stay in the same place for more than 3 years being the max one year minimum, relationships are a mess of contradictions and fights.

what can i say...i do believe honestly that no one is diminishing the suffering involved but, to know earlier is to be armed with some info that with or without therapy means you have choices.

For instance i read some where that bpd did nt exist in the uk til 1970 well there you go my first od and they did nt have a lable, so i got farmed back out to the family that clearly were nt helping me at all!!

so yes, an early dx does give choices and chances and i wish for all the missed opportunities, times i've walked out on jobs , left relationships, sold up and moved abroad, someone , somewhere had told me i was being bpd. then at least i could stand to have a wasted and useless past behind me and maybe feel slightly better about the things i most likely sqandered without a second thought, cos i was in a slightly odd mood...

the info is good, but the prognosis for any of us in our 40s is shit...not least because of the associated symptoms but because we have nothing in life to fall back on....no savings no insurance, no work record nothing....this is desolate and a crap way to live

regardless of this, i am hopeful for myself and trying hard to get well , stay well and intend to work ,earn and do the things in life so far denied me by this illness

my diatribe is really there to help anyone newly dx'd or young to take the help, seize thier chance of recovery and live it.....and have that future i never had....i wish it for all of you youngsters...

love and luck

jai

[shirl]

:( Hello everyone,

I have never been diagnosed with BPD but have been diagnosed with Severe Premenstral Sydrome and fit somewhere into the Bi-polar spectrum, not enough to use lithium but depressed enough for anti-depressants which I have been on for the last 10 years.

I aslo was hospitiised for Major Depression in 2002. I am also a recovering Alcoholic & drug addict for the past 14 years. I am 43 yrs old and very tired of trying to figure out what the fuck is my problem. I have seen several Pyc's & been in talk therapy & all ohter therapy which I am now accepting to be just a tool to accept my maladies in the end I still left with several of symtoms of BPD which I have researched. So I decided to get off all antidepressants which has been over 2 weeks now because I can no longer tolerate a 30lb weight gain which brings me right back to depression all though I exercise & watch what I eat (still cannot lose the weight. ) So I self diagnosed and got a precscription for Meridia which I have been on for 8 days without losing a single pound. I am very discourged as you can probably figure out from this post and feeling totally defeated as now my husband says that I am a Major Bitch in these past two weeks. I guess he would rather see me passive than aggressive.

I'm just spent, where do I go from here?????????

Can someone pls help me as I feel totally doomed from all this shit, therapy,medication, & labels of what is wrong with me. So for the the other 40+ people out there Please tell me where to go from here. I'm big time stuck in anger & feelings of hopelessness.

Tks for listening.

[MrsDerelictContent]

Hey Shirl.

The prognosis for different disorders can vary dramatically.

The information I gave was based soley on BPD...

I'm not 40+ so I'm not going to say anything else. xxx

[jai]

Shirl

you sound like you could do with an understanding do somewhere and some real support in your efforts...

i am forty something and every day is different, try not to focus on whats not right but keep on track with your goals, the weight loss and the staying off meds....both are good and achievable...i know its tough but you have made some very strong decisions there and both will bear fruit eventually

horrid as it is, much of what we are going through is about patience too and seeing each stage through...and i hate saying that, cos right now i could gladly quit trying for a number of reasons myself....but i know the sense in putting one day after the next enough times to get somewhere more positive in the end....

good luck and keep posting shirl!!

we are here to support and care for you

jai

x

[Trace]

I was dx with BPD only 4yrs ago at the grand young age of 39. At aged 40 after drinking alcoholically for 26 yrs I decided to do something about my drinking. I walked into AA and haven't drank since and that is 3 1/2 yrs ago, but the funny thing was when I read the litreture in AA about alcoholism its almost Identical wiht BPD, in AA they call a person who has just quit drinking but still "acting out" a dry drunk, I guess that was my fear when I quit drinking that I would stay a "dry drunk" my counsellor in rehab spotted my acting out as something different, it said as I was adopted he strongly believed I actually could be classed as having Attachment Disorder" which is very similar to BPD. I am in Talk therapy with a therapist that understands Attachment disorder. When I told her I had previously been Dx wiht BPD she said she didnt get the "feeling" that was a correct dx and that dx's actually are not very helpful, if we wanted to go along the route of dx we could say I also have narcissic personality disorder because of the injury to the "self" and the fantasing that has created, but as narcissim has its extremes from pyschotic to neurotic that in itself is a borderline condition, but the borderline being very big between the neurotic spectrum and the psychotic. where did all this dx talk get me? LOL well apart from having my head up my arse I saw I should just work on myself as I present myself in any given moment, the more I sit and look and read symtons I start to "become" those symptons. Dam I've rambled on so long I've forgot my point LOL, oh yes!, LOL that moment of clarity when I awoke to realise I had to give up the booze if I had any chance of living differently was I think partly due to the age I had reached, in my 20;s and 30;s I was still "in" my insanity and couldnt even contemplate another way of living, so I feel maturity has a lot to do with recovery also,. Have I made any sense here? LOL

[pip]

I have watched the dvd

THERE IS HOPE

[shirl]

I was dx with BPD only 4yrs ago at the grand young age of 39. At aged 40 after drinking alcoholically for 26 yrs I decided to do something about my drinking. I walked into AA and haven't drank since and that is 3 1/2 yrs ago, but the funny thing was when I read the litreture in AA about alcoholism its almost Identical wiht BPD, in AA they call a person who has just quit drinking but still "acting out" a dry drunk, I guess that was my fear when I quit drinking that I would stay a "dry drunk" my counsellor in rehab spotted my acting out as something different, it said as I was adopted he strongly believed I actually could be classed as having Attachment Disorder" which is very similar to BPD. I am in Talk therapy with a therapist that understands Attachment disorder. When I told her I had previously been Dx wiht BPD she said she didnt get the "feeling" that was a correct dx and that dx's actually are not very helpful, if we wanted to go along the route of dx we could say I also have narcissic personality disorder because of the injury to the "self" and the fantasing that has created, but as narcissim has its extremes from pyschotic to neurotic that in itself is a borderline condition, but the borderline being very big between the neurotic spectrum and the psychotic. where did all this dx talk get me? LOL well apart from having my head up my arse I saw I should just work on myself as I present myself in any given moment, the more I sit and look and read symtons I start to "become" those symptons. Dam I've rambled on so long I've forgot my point LOL, oh yes!, LOL that moment of clarity when I awoke to realise I had to give up the booze if I had any chance of living differently was I think partly due to the age I had reached, in my 20;s and 30;s I was still "in" my insanity and couldnt even contemplate another way of living, so I feel maturity has a lot to do with recovery also,. Have I made any sense here? LOL

Hi Trace,

Tks for your response, I do agree the more I read the more I identify with several disorders. I do know that I have grown up in AA which I am totally grateful for. I consider myself somewhat NORMAL but deep down I am just very sad & I guess I'm always chasing rainbow in hope for a better way of thinking ( positive way of thinking). I have touched on serenity a few times & I do know the difference of Peace of mind verses discontent. Congrats on your recovery! It has probably saved my life a few times over the past 14 yrs.

You have made perfect sense ! Are you still involved with Therapy & has it helped you to think before reacting?

I have watched the dvd

THERE IS HOPE

Hi Pip,

How are you doing? This must sound crazy but what DVD are you talking about.

Hugs,

[pip]

The BPD dvd available from the site.

There is a post somewhere

I think in notice board about it.

BUY IT

Pip

x

[Trace]

I was dx with BPD only 4yrs ago at the grand young age of 39. At aged 40 after drinking alcoholically for 26 yrs I decided to do something about my drinking. I walked into AA and haven't drank since and that is 3 1/2 yrs ago, but the funny thing was when I read the litreture in AA about alcoholism its almost Identical wiht BPD, in AA they call a person who has just quit drinking but still "acting out" a dry drunk, I guess that was my fear when I quit drinking that I would stay a "dry drunk" my counsellor in rehab spotted my acting out as something different, it said as I was adopted he strongly believed I actually could be classed as having Attachment Disorder" which is very similar to BPD. I am in Talk therapy with a therapist that understands Attachment disorder. When I told her I had previously been Dx wiht BPD she said she didnt get the "feeling" that was a correct dx and that dx's actually are not very helpful, if we wanted to go along the route of dx we could say I also have narcissic personality disorder because of the injury to the "self" and the fantasing that has created, but as narcissim has its extremes from pyschotic to neurotic that in itself is a borderline condition, but the borderline being very big between the neurotic spectrum and the psychotic. where did all this dx talk get me? LOL well apart from having my head up my arse I saw I should just work on myself as I present myself in any given moment, the more I sit and look and read symtons I start to "become" those symptons. Dam I've rambled on so long I've forgot my point LOL, oh yes!, LOL that moment of clarity when I awoke to realise I had to give up the booze if I had any chance of living differently was I think partly due to the age I had reached, in my 20;s and 30;s I was still "in" my insanity and couldnt even contemplate another way of living, so I feel maturity has a lot to do with recovery also,. Have I made any sense here? LOL

Hi Trace,

Tks for your response, I do agree the more I read the more I identify with several disorders. I do know that I have grown up in AA which I am totally grateful for. I consider myself somewhat NORMAL but deep down I am just very sad & I guess I'm always chasing rainbow in hope for a better way of thinking ( positive way of thinking). I have touched on serenity a few times & I do know the difference of Peace of mind verses discontent. Congrats on your recovery! It has probably saved my life a few times over the past 14 yrs.

You have made perfect sense ! Are you still involved with Therapy & has it helped you to think before reacting?

Hugs,

I am only into my 2nd yr of therapy, yes it has changed me a great deal, but I know I still have a bit of a road to travel! I can still fall straight back into the insanity.