Thehungoverfairy Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Hi I just found this site byaccident searching the internet for further information on BPD. I'm not sure if I would be diagonosed with BPD, but my sister recommended I read up on it. Its is almost scary to recognise myself in the descriptions.I am currently in what you would call the realisation phase, as in fuck I can't keep going round in circles and finding excuses in lots of other things in my life and this awareness phase that I am in is a fucking god awful place to be. I read the abuse page and it talks about "healing" and the fact that it is an incredibly painful thing to start and I'm living that at the moment. This is why I decided to sign up to this site. I have just started doing psychotherapy and my brain is being bombarded by things that I have spent years trying to deny or run away from.Does anyone know where I am coming from?Greetings from the hungoverfairy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wife Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 I am having a bad day today so can't really do anything other than say hi"hi"and give hugs(((((((fairy)))))))Jay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 hi.. welcomei hope you find all the care, info, support you need, here from ustake carerachel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuttymoo Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Hello and welcome,I am also new here but you have come to a good place, where i am sure alot of us can relate to the way you feel. Look forward to getting to know you. I have just been queried as BPD and i was a bit like oh no that can't be right but i think it is. Hope you settle in and take care xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolphin Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 hello and welcome to the site Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beth79 Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 WelcomeBeth xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drew Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 :welcomeani: :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suchcrazyness Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Welcome, the sense of omg this fits so perfectly but omg it can't be is very familiar to me. It's great that you are in therapy, hope that you get what you need from them.welcome to this world!Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drann Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Hi fairyWelcome to the site, and hope you feel better with us Hug!LoveAnn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 WELCOMEtherapy is often an upsetting experience but with luck you bond with your therapist and they help you through. it really does help in the long run.i think you will find lots of understanding here.bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thehungoverfairy Posted July 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Hi AgainI'm not sure if I'm doing this whole reply thing right... but here goes anyway...I just wanted to say thank you to all of you and for your hugs...I have spent all day starting at the computer screen trying to put away those thoughts that we pulling me down and not doing a particularly good job of distracting myself... but the responses that I received from you have been a real boost...I have read through a few of the different topics and I can see how good the support from you guys can be.I do not feel suicidal, though I have suicidal thoughts when I'm down...Right now I am scared of things falling down to the next level... I am just managing to hold myself together and I am appreciating the good things that happen each day... a smile, a short conversation, a laugh... but I know how close the edge is and I'm fighting really hard to stay this side of it in the hope that if I hold on for long enough the edge will move further and further away...I think it may take some time though... correction, I know it will take time...I would like to send you all hugs back and I hope you are all also hanging in there...The Hungover Fairy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jodi Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Hi THO Fairy,'Right now I am scared of things falling down to the next level... I am just managing to hold myself together and I am appreciating the good things that happen each day... a smile, a short conversation, a laugh... but I know how close the edge is and I'm fighting really hard to stay this side of it in the hope that if I hold on for long enough the edge will move further and further away'I know exactly what you mean - that is me.I found this site a week ago and it has helped me stay on the right side, everyone looks after everyone, it's lovely.Welcome.Jodi xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Hi Fairy (if that is ok)Welcome to the site.I hope you like us and we can helpPipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thehungoverfairy Posted July 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Hi its me againNow that I've found this site, I can't seem to stay away...I am now at home after what has been a pretty easy going day and I should be happy to be at home and be able to relax and enjoy my own company, but instead i am sitting in front of my computer sobbing my eyes out because I am so scared of being alone. I going to pull myself out of this and I have to fight the urge to panic. I don't want this to take over. I know that its okay to be alone and there is nothing to be scared of except my overworked imagination and lack of ability to shut my brain down... so why do I find it so hard?Why is this all coming out now? Why can't I be normal... I've tried so hard to be normal...Sorry this is a bad moment... I will take a few deep breaths and take control...Does it get better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 You aren't alone sweetieYou have us!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louiza Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 :welcomeani: ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangesoup Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 (((((((((Thehungoverfairy)))))))))Hope you find the help and support you are looking for here! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Welcome!Spliffy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdesh Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 W E L C O M E Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 ((((((((((((((thehungover fairy)))))))))))))welcomei have only found this site recently-bout six weeksit has SAVED my life time and time againEVERYONE here is friendlythere is ALWAYS some one listening and caring-please USE us!!!take care of u and NEVER forget you r a very special person!!!!!!!!love ali xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thehungoverfairy Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Hi GuysWhen am I supposed to switch over to the general board and stop using the introductions page,or can I continue where we are now?I had a really up moment yesterday afternoon and it lasted until I woke up this morning. I really thought that ma be things weren't as bad as they seemed, but this morning it all came back and the disappointment of feeling down again is doubled because yesterday felt so good.My therapist and my doctor recommended that I try an anti-depressant last week, as I had only just begun my therapy and my therapist is now on holiday for 3 weeks. Because all this stuff was bubbling up that I have spent years trying to hide, it was just too hard.First of all they wanted to put me on an SSRI I think, but the they decided to let me try St Johns Wort as a natural remedy to see if that worked. I have never taken anything before so I was quite relieved to take something that sounded less hard... but I'm not sure what to expect... they say it should take 10 days to 2 weeks to start coming into effect... will I notice this? Is it because of this that I was so up yesterday? Or did I really have a good day?I feel a bit of a fraud writing to you like this as I don't even really know whats wrong with me... I just know that I can't get through this without professional help... it been so long now and I can't pick up the pieces by myself, because there are too many of them.I'm overwhelmed and I don't really want to accept that I could be ill but at the same time if I accept it than I can do something about it? Isn't that the case???I don't want to be me right now...I promised my sister that in six months we will speak to each other and be normal and ask normal things and all the shit that is running around me will be in its right place.But what the fuck is normal... who the fuck is normal?Would be great to hear your take on things...The Hungover Fairy feeling down and miserable and bloody angry with fuck with everything and nothing...Where the fuck is the sunshine today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Where the fuck is the sunshine today?My thoughts exactly!It is pouring hereand I am carless(sinking in now)Don't know anyone normalSorryPipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thehungoverfairy Posted July 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Where the fuck is the sunshine today?My thoughts exactly!It is pouring hereand I am carless(sinking in now)Don't know anyone normalSorryPipxPip Don't sink... sometimes the rain can wash away the crapiness to let the sun in...Look at all the hugs you have... And I'm sending you another ((((((PIP))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 I have just started doing psychotherapy and my brain is being bombarded by things that I have spent years trying to deny or run away from.Does anyone know where I am coming from? hi there I certainly know where you are coming fromhope you find it helpful hereI do xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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